Lenny Dykstra is Out of His Goddamn Mind

Not that you didn't know that already, but this is actually getting really sad.

This morning, we posted a tease to John Clark's interview with Lenny Dykstra, who was in town this weekend for an autograph show in Valley Forge. NBC has put up the rest of the videos and, well, they're a little bit frightening.

Dude talks about everything from Charlie Sheen to big banks, which are apparently out to kill him.

Some quotes- taken from multiple points in the interview.

On banks

Don't be surprised if not assassinated by one of these banks one of these days.

I see stories that I couldn't make up if I dreamed. But that doesn't matter. What matters is all those people, they'll be shining my shoes. Ok? And they'll all come back wanting to suck my dick. Ok? Which they will. Guess what I'll tell them? Guess what? You think you have an idea? Yeah, go fuck yourself.

I have $30 million dollars worth of homes.

But are they being foreclosed?

Foreclosed? Whatever.

Was there a period of my life when I was livin' on the streets? Yeah.

How long did you live on the streets?

Long enough to be put in the category of that dude… name… that Indian dude… um… Ghandi. He's Indian I think, right?

On people

All the people, the so-called people who said I ripped them off…

On baseball

No talking to the other team. We're going to take their money and fuck their women.

Oh yeah, and Dude doesn't like Mitch Williams. He's also probably on drugs.

My only personal regret from all this? Lenny was at the Palm and Ritz Carlton on Friday, just mere feet from where I was, sitting at the Capital Grille bar next to Shane Victorino's prominently displayed wine locker. I would have loved to have ran into Lenny and asked him about his thoughts on… oh I don't know… Muammar Gaddafi or 9/11.

And don't worry, I'm not spending all your t-shirt and ticket money on expensive, perfectly aged steaks- my girlfriend and I just grabbed appetizers at the bar after enjoying a champagne toast and orchestra seats at the ballet (long story). I will now retreat under thick layer of douche.

Hop it for the videos.

View more videos at: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com.