Your Monday Morning Roundup: 5-8 Eagles Edition

Kyle Scott —  December 12, 2011 — 24 Comments

Screen Shot 2011-12-12 at 9.01.00 AM

I didn’t watch the Eagles game. Not one second of it.

Instead, I went with Ms. CB and some family to the CSI exhibit at the Franklin Institute and Christmas Village… or, as some would prefer it to be called, Mayor Nutter’s Happy Fun-Time Non-Denominational I didn’t know you were Druish Holiday Village. Anyway, it was a great time. We solved not one but two crimes at the Institute (they only want you to do one, but for fear of catching the end of the game on TV, we went back and solved another). At Christmas Village, we had strudel, took on a couple of German wieners… and ate some sausage. Had beer. And then, because we wanted to see some real football, stopped in Con Murphy’s on the Parkway to have some more beer and watch the Packers beat up on the Raiders.

When we got home, I added a Christmas twist onto the Flyin’ Hawaiian™ (Captain and pineapple) to form a Mele Kalikimaka (two scoops of coconut sorbet, a shot of Captain and a small can of Dole pineapple juice). Try it– trust me, it’s Hawaii’s way to say Merry Christmas to you. Also, I may have a drinking problem.

That’s it– no Eagles. I understand they won, however. We caught some of our friend John Miller’s post-game show on WIP on the way home. I read most of the articles, too, and have prepared myself for a few foolish fools who believe the Eagles still have a chance. Which they don’t.

Let’s hit it.

 

A couple of quick notes:

- Shady McCoy– he’s good. Buy an It’s Always Shady in Philadelphia t-shirt and you’ll help fight cancer. So, it seems to me the math is simple: support Shady, fight cancer. Do it.

- One day left to save 40% off NFL jerseys at BC Sports. 40. Percent. Click here for locations.

- Quizzo at Drinker’s last week had a ridiculous turnout. The Flyers were playing the Penguins and it made for a great atmosphere every time the O and Bs scored. Be sure to check out Drinker’s locations for other Flyers games… like tomorrow against the Capitals. $1 hot dogs and $3 Jagr shots. 

 

The roundup:

- Claude Giroux had a bad day on Saturday. He got kneed in the head by Wayne Simmonds at night, and may have a concussion as a result. In the morning, it appears he was in a minor fender bender outside the Wells Fargo center.

- Adam Reigner wrote a particularly good piece yesterday, filing for divorce from Andy Reid. Very well done.

- Jimmy Rollins watched Temple wax all over my Villanova squad Saturday night.

- Those fans that we told you about on Friday – the ones who had legal action threatened by the Sixers if they didn’t hand over the passwords for fake mascot Twitter accounts – received free club box tickets to the home opener. Good for them… though they seemed much more interested in telling the negative side of the story than the positive one. Nice work by the Sixers.

- Joe Paterno broke his pelvis.  

- David Beckham wears a Phillies hat.

- John Miller writes about how Vick was still mediocre in the Eagles’ win. 

- Here are the details on Ryan Braun being suspended for using PEDs, if you haven’t heard yet. 

- Lindsay Lohan’s naked Playboy pictures.

- Our favorite post-game Eagles ranter, eaydatpussy445, is happy. Somewhat. This time, he shows us his breasts in a festive fashion.

Kyle Scott

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24 responses to Your Monday Morning Roundup: 5-8 Eagles Edition

  1. Those are a nice set of cans for fakes.

  2. you and anybody else who didnt watch the game are true pussies and not really eagles fans… as a fan you have to be there watching and hoping and cursing and doing what ever else comes along with being a fan…
    btw i look forward to listening to the weekly rant from the fat man hope he makes another youtube vid.

  3. you clearly missed the last link there

  4. Heff and the boys and girls over a playboy did wonders on that crackhead pussy… they photoshopped the hell out of her even taking away her freckles.

  5. working hard

  6. Lindsay Lohan gave me herpes

  7. I spent more time watching a Top Gear marathon on BBC America than the Eagles game. I don’t mind admitting that Clarkson, May and Hammond were more entertaining than Vick, Jackson and McCoy. And to Dwayne: if I’m a p***y for not living and dying with every snap yesterday, so be it. I’ve been called worse things in my life.

  8. Dwayne, give me a break.
    Just because you blindly follow the failed product of horrible coaching and uninspired play doesn’t mean we have to.
    When the Eagles decide it’s important enough to put out a product and a team that’s worth supporting, I’ll support it. This season, it isn’t it.
    If they don’t care, why should I?

  9. reid is awfully fat December 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

    Of course, another celebrity not showing her pussy in Playboy…its such a soft magazine now. Not that it’s ever been hardcore but I remember when it was mandatory to show it all. But people like Kim kardashian, Heidi Montag and Amanda Beard have destroyed any credibility of the “celebrity” pictorial…oh yeah, and fire Andy Reid!

  10. All Drunk Obnoxious Loser Eagle Fans aka Dwayne December 12, 2011 at 10:22 am

    SUPER BOWL!!!!

  11. To ThePhillyflash, KyleScott and Sean D,
    Can you guys help me out with the definition of a bandwagon fan?
    Kyle, think you’ll still be running this site when it’s only the Sixers (as an 8th seed) and Flyers making the playoffs?

  12. Bandwagon Fan – a fan who suddenly supports a team on the upswing and who inevitably disavows the same team on the downswing.
    Not to be confused with loyal fans who are fed up with a poor product and secure enough in their fandom that they don’t need to vindicate themselves by watching two 4-8 teams play.

  13. THANK YOU weebay.
    So, because I don’t turn the game on and fool myself into hoping that Andy Reid will FINALLY put players in “better positions,” or “do a better job,” that makes me a bandwagon fan?
    I spend my money on the franchise. I SCREAM at the television set every Sunday. I jump up and down just as much as you do when Shady breaks a 50 yard run.
    Don’t tell me I’m not a fan.
    I’m sick and tired of watching the same buffoons do the same boneheaded things week after week after week. I’m sick of seeing the character of the team I’ve loved for so long deteriorate.
    I’ve said it for years. I bleed a healthy mix of green, orange and red. Always will. That doesn’t mean you’re going to see me cheering a failed experiment and bottom of the barrel play.
    So, you can question if I’m a real fan all you want, but honestly? You can shove it.

  14. Sean D,
    You can call yourself whatever you’d like but “real fans” turn the game ON.
    Also, it’s Wee-Bey. If you’re going to name yourself after a fictional tv character, at least spell it correctly.

  15. all of you are full of shit you didnt watch the game so much yesterday that you ran to this blog first thing this morning to tout the fact…
    @ at weebay you guys were all in at the beginning of the season dont fall off the wagon now that it has flat tires.

  16. Dwayne and P are right. I actually didnt turn the game on until it was 7-7, but thats because i was making pizza, and i woke up late. but if you dont eatch the games, you cant really call yourself a fan of the team (unless you have like church or a family function or a job to go to or whatever), but even if you cant watch the game, you still gotta root for “your team”. Even if you think the chances of making the playoffs are slim, dont give up. you still gotta root and hope it happens until we’re mathematically eliminated.
    Although we arent all perfect, last year against the Giants i was at applebees with my friend and we left with about ten minutes left. worst decision ever. we ended up listening on the radio on the way home and dancing on the side of the road.
    sidenote: i got PhillyPhaitfhul’s BIRDS shirt last year for christmas, and i wore it during the last three games of last season and a few games this season, and yesterday was the first time the Eagles won when i wore it. curse broken.

  17. Great, Dwayne and P are real fans. What do you want, a fucking cookie? Get a grip, it’s like arguing in high school over who liked a band first and who likes them more.

  18. I AM A FAN BECAUSE I EAT WHATEVER SHIT THEY FEED ME WITH A BIG SMILE AND HAVE MULTIPLE JERSEYS

  19. I don’t agree with everything Philly teams do, or with the personnel they choose to keep, but I won’t turn my back on them because they lose. Losing is what makes winning all that more enjoyable.
    Also, I’m not claiming to be a bigger/better fan than anybody on this message board. I’m just calling out the hypocrites. There’s a big difference between being a fan and having a rooting interest.
    ….It’s so incredibly easy to get under a Philly fans skin.

  20. You’re not really under my skin

  21. All Drunk Obnoxious Loser Eagle Fans aka Dwayne, P, Mark December 12, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Any one have an extra super bowl ticket? I’d love to get on board this train. Indy here we come!!!!!!!

  22. I’m sorry, but who are Dwayne and P to question my level of loyalty to the Eagles because I choose not to drink the Kool-Aid that flows from the faucets at the Nova Care Complex or blindly follow whatever wears midnight green on the field? Just because the Eagles enjoyed what might have been nothing more than a dead cat bounce against a 4-9 team that just fired it’s head coach today doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten the shitty performances the Birds vomited up over the last month when they looked and played like a kennel full of mutts who literally rolled over and played dead. If they didn’t give enough of a damn to show up in embarrassing losses to New England and Seattle, then why should I continue to invest my time and emotions in that bunch? You want to call that being a bandwagon fan, fine, knock yourself out. I could care less.

  23. It’s nice and warm under here but on the surface it seems chapped and dry.. Flash, one word – moisturizer.

  24. Me prayers to Joe Pa on his busted hip. They’re no fun. I’ve broken me own hips 3 times and it put a crimp on me shagging for quite a long time that sometimes I feel that why I’m always horny now—it all built-up in me while I was laid up getting healed.
    The last time I broke me hips, it left me with so much metal keeping them together that I put me local hardware store in me will so that I can donate all of it to them when I give up the ghost.
    The good thing is they won’t break in a typical geezer “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” fall now. But they can still break from a really hard fall. Which is why I can’t ride bikes or horses, or do other crazy shyte that I used to do in me youth. It’s taken a lot of fun out of me life. Thank god it doesn’t impact me shagging the gals hahahah.

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