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Photo: Getty

Hey there, interwebtual creatures, how would you like to shell out $1,000 for the puck Danny Briere placed into the pads of Henrik Lundqvist during his penalty shot in the Winter Classic?

What, you wouldn’t like that?

Winter_classic_puck

"Where's fuckin' Henrik's pads? Gimme gimme gimme fuckin' Henrik's pads"

Currently, NHL.com counts 30 bids up to $1,100 on the individually numbered puck, and that’s with 10 days remaining on the auction. Rangers fans, no doubt. Or Sean Couturier.

This is all part of a plot by the NHL to suck, snort, and inject the remaining dollars from the 2012 Winter Classic like a crack whore robbing a dead rich guy. The league is auctioning off everything. Flyers and Rangers players were asked to change jerseys between each period of this classic winter tilt so the NHL could auction off three sets of game-worn sweaters… except one worn by Andreas Lilja, whose first period sweater will be immortalized in the Hockey Hall Fame. Really. Here’s the full auction item list:

·         18 jerseys worn by the Rangers during the first period. The jersey worn in the first period by Anton Stralman was presented to the Hockey Hall of Fame. The jersey worn in the first period by Brandon Prust is not available.

·         19 jerseys worn by the Flyers during the first period. The jersey worn in the first period by Andreas Lilja was presented to the Hockey Hall of Fame.

·         The 7 jerseys prepared for the Rangers who did not play in the 2012 Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic.

·         The 6 jerseys prepared for the Flyers who did not play in the 2012 Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic.

·         The actual pucks used to score 4 of the 5 goals in the 2012 Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic.

·         The first puck with the unique NHL Winter Classic Philadelphia 2012 logo dropped to start the first period.

·         The puck used for the first penalty shot in Winter Classic history.

·         12 additional game-used pucks (4 more from the first period, 5 from the second period, and 3 from the third period) with the unique NHL Winter Classic Philadelphia 2012 logo used in the game.

·         9 pucks used by the teams during the pregame warmup.

·         9 practice pucks with the unique NHL Winter Classic Philadelphia 2012 logo used by the Rangers during their practice at Citizens Bank Park on January 1, 2012.

·         10 practice pucks with the unique NHL Winter Classic Philadelphia 2012 logo used by the Flyers during their practice at Citizens Bank Park on January 1, 2012.

 

All items can be bid on here. Of course, if you’d like to urinate away your money, you can give it to me, and I’ll be sure to pay for pictures of Cliff Lee nailing Selena Gomez with an iPhone 5 lying on the edge of the bed next to an unreleased copy of The Dark Knight Rises, or something. Page views!

H/T (@Sean_Leahy)