Morning Puck: Islanders Poop on Flyers

Screen Shot 2012-01-20 at 9.31.45 AM
I'm convinced that girl in the background is Liz Lemon… or just eye-fucking Claude Giroux as her boy toy get his text on

Ew. Check your shoes– it smells like someone stepped in dog shit. 

I wish there was a way that words could accurately diagram the Flyers' play in the first period. There’s not, because there isn't word that evokes an image of the Cheshire Cat aimlessly and lethargically running into an oncoming truck and watching carelessly as said truck barrels away carrying with it a piece of the pussy's soul.

On second thought, that probably paints a pretty good picture.

I liked our friend Ryan Bright's take too:

Screen Shot 2012-01-20 at 9.59.46 AM

I tweeted after the first period that the Flyers unofficial turnover count was 602. I was joking, but I may have only been off by a dozen or so. The Flyers never had it, and despite a brief third period surge, lost to the Islanders, 4-1. It’s the first time the Flyers have lost at home to the Islanders since 2007, or, since Mike Richards was the next Bobby Clarke.

Matt Read’s goal gave him 14 on the season and puts him in the league lead among rookies. 

Some things to discuss:

Claude Giroux got into his third career fight. It was a pleasant mix of passion and frustration, which I’m guessing excited our friend Brandi

Giroux_glass

We now know why Jaromir Jagr was such a sought after guest on Dry Island: he, like the $51 million goalie, doesn’t drink. Here’s an excerpt from an Q & A with Jags in the Courier Post:

You do keep yourself in good shape for a guy who’s turning 40 next month.
“I never drink. I think that’s helped. I never drink alcohol.”

You never drank at all?
“No. My family never had alcohol in the house. My dad never. My mom never. If you don’t see if in the house … I never drank. I always had fun and never had to drink. I think people drink to have fun. I have fun when I don’t drink.”

You’re turning 40 on Feb. 15. When did you think playing in the NHL at 40 would be possible?
“I told you I never drink. I think when people drink, they lose 10 years. They lose 25 percent. I think that. They lose 25 percent. They’re finished at [age] 30. The thing is when you drink and the body, how it works … you’re naturally cleaning your body. When you drink alcohol, the body cleans the alcohol first, then it doesn’t have time to kind of heal you with other things.

You never tasted beer in your life?
“I tasted beer, but I don’t like that taste. That’s why I don’t drink it. That’s a huge advantage for me.

Did you ever smoke?
“No.”

Is there a soda that you drink?
“I like Diet Coke. I even drink it during a game. I like Diet Coke. No vitamins, nothing … Diet Coke.”

 

And there goes my vision of Jags sitting in the back of Z Bar sipping distilled vodka off the neck of a Ukrainian hooker.

Speaking of Eastern Europe and Russia, reader Matt sent this video of John Boruk seemingly making a crack about the KHL plane crash during Pregame Live:

Eh. He’s actually right– travel is safer here. I’m not so sure he wasn’t just caught off-guard by Bill Clement, who – I think – was talking about the fact that there is less travel in the NHL, not the safety thing. Signals crossed and, boom: uncomfortable comment. A few folks on Twitter were unhappy with it, but I don’t think Boruk meant it as a joke, it just came across that way.

Finally, since the highlights consist mostly of Brayden Schenn turning the puck over at the blue line, after the jump is a picture of the Phantoms without their shirts on and video of Giroux’s fight. Both are geared toward our female readers.

Comment on this post, and you'll entered to win a “Quality Grooming Experience” from American Male, a full-service salon for guys in Center City, Berwyn and Reading that has been helping men look their best for over 12 years. The “Quality Grooming Experience” features shampoo, haircut, scalp massage and much more. We’ll be picking two winners per week. Must enter your email address to be eligible. Oh yeah, they serve beer too.

Thanks to reader Lindsay for the photo 

Phantoms_shirts

 

19 Comments

  1. The Real Iron Balls McGinty*

    January 20, 2012 at 9:54 am

    what tools wit no shirts on

  2. Clement may have just been talking about the long distances between KHL teams, some of which are in Siberia.
    How would the world change if Claude Giroux played in Hempstead and John Tavares was a Flyer?
    Most eligible bachelor in Glen Falls–guy that makes more than 30k.

  3. Where are all the idiots that constantly blame goaltending now? I admit there have been soft goals this year, but the main problem is still having a team that shuts down for five minutes almost every game.. No back checking, bad turnovers and too many odd man rushes and unchallenged shots… Btw I still think Boruk is to blame, Clement was referring to the distance traveled in the KHL and their demanding travel schedules

  4. Any connection between all of the Pronger stuff coming out now and just how dead/unmotivated they looked last night?
    It’s not a real excuse, but who knows how much they actually knew. In some cases, they know just as much as the media knows and it’s not mentioned in the locker room. Him not going to that fashion show may have made some of them realize how serious his situation is.

  5. It literally makes me sick that our best player (Giroux) actually fought last night. What if he got hurt?! In the days of Bobby Clarke & Schultz that shit would NEVER fly. The benches would have cleared. Hartnell or anybody on the ice should have ran over and either punched the guy or stopped it…regardless of the consequences. Now any player on any team knows they can mess with Giroux and will take runs at him…eff that, it should’ve never happened. Sickening.

  6. I feel so damn bad for Pronger, you know he wants to be playing and feeling normal, it sucks badly that he cant and the reports coming out dont sound good at all. His career may very be over….so damn sad.

  7. I’d change the headline. More like “Flyers Allow Themselves to be Pooped Upon”. Longer, yes, but more accurate. Takes two to create a messy debacle like that: a pooper and a poopee. Guess that makes Brayden Schenn a copraphiliac.
    That’s all I’ve got. Fingers crossed for a free haircut.

  8. frankenstein-
    First rule of free haircuts: you do not talk about free haircuts.
    You will never win.

  9. Remember when we used to Blog about the goaltending being an issue?
    I guess last night everyone finally got to see what some of us have been posting about all season.
    The Flyers are one of the worst defensive teams in the NHL…it does not matter what goalie you put in the net, Thomas, Bob, Miller, Bryz, Broduer in his prime, Bernie, a shooter tutor…yes they will steal games every once in a while which you want them to do…but consistently night in and night out the Defense has been far below average…hell below awful most nights…
    Nobody on this D squad scares anyone. No big names, no big bodies, nothing. Timmo looked bad, bourdon awful again, Coburn okay, Mes bad, Did carle even play?
    Add on top of that the OFFENSE which does nothing in the defensive zone.
    Offense wins games, Defense wins championships…

  10. Where are all the idiots that constantly blame goaltending now?
    Posted by: Reader Matt | January 20, 2012 at 10:07 AM
    Well, I was going to come on here and note that no matter how bad the Flyers shit the bed last night you don’t hear anyone complaining about the goaltending.
    That’s because BOB stopped 4 or 5 breakaways and kept the team in the game. Had Bryz been back there I guarantee he gives up a couple on that stretch in the second where the team was limp then gets pulled.
    Sure the team was at faultn but not the goalie last night.
    Thx,
    Jay!

  11. The Ghost of Leonard Tose

    January 20, 2012 at 11:55 am

    jagr is still on the team?

  12. Is it just me or did it look like Giroux bites Reese’s jersey?

  13. “That’s because BOB stopped 4 or 5 breakaways and kept the team in the game. Had Bryz been back there I guarantee he gives up a couple on that stretch in the second where the team was limp then gets pulled.”
    Dont care what goalie is in net. They should never have to face what Bob did last night…If Bryz was in net this blog would be filled with Bryz bashers and they would say hes the reason they lost. But because Bob was in net and its what everyone wants because they think hes the #1 (far from it sorry) nobody wants to say anything besides oh its a bad game…or Bryz would have given up 6 goals!!

  14. I had a dream last night that the Flyers traded Jagr to Calgary. No idea for who, but that was part of my dream.
    Probably because he’d be as visible to us Flyers fans there as he has been here the past 2 weeks anyway.

  15. g needs to step his game up

  16. Frank just won a free haircut.

  17. Gforpres :”It literally makes me sick that our best player (Giroux) actually fought last night. What if he got hurt?! In the days of Bobby Clarke & Schultz that shit would NEVER fly.”
    agreed. as soon as that no talent ass clown dylan reese drops his gloves there should have been 4 more orange jerseys giving him the prison shower treatment. a message needed to be sent by the flyers in that instance and it was.. only the message wasnt “DONT FUCK WITH G”

  18. giroux better of made that chick lick his asshole after the game…….before he took a shower. then smacked the shit out of her and told her to go back to jersey.

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