Lindy Ruff facepalm via (@g81ross)
Ryan Miller is dead. He was 31.
Miller is, by far, my favorite opponent for Philly teams to play against. He has it all: talented player at a position notorious for getting the best of local teams, whiny demeanor, vagina, and the propensity to completely and utterly lose his shit when he comes within 20 miles of our city’s center.
The Flyers beat the Sabres last night, 7-2. It would figure that, on the day I wrote 2,200 words about the issues plaguing the Flyers (and there are some), they would unload a steaming pile of goals all over the belly of my words. But that’s OK– I’m not complaining. I like it.
Things didn’t start off well for the Flyers, however. Early in the first period, it was Philly typical as Jason Pominville was left wide open for an easy one-timer:
If this happened in a video game, you would go on a message board somewhere and complain about the game’s shitty AI.
Then Bryz let in a Mister Softee, which was eerily reminiscent of (though significantly less important than) Claude Lemieux’s go-ahead goal in Game 5 of the 1995 Eastern Conference Finals. Chris Therien remembers it well:
I was on the couch, crying
It was all Flyers after the Sabres' two quick goals.
Max Talbot scored. Then, enter Wayne Simmonds, Silence of the Lambs:
Well helll-ooo, Clarice!
Simmonds, who needed 25 stitches to his upper and lower lips thanks to taking a puck to the face in pre-game warmups, netted the Flyers’ second and third goals, which, fittingly, proved to be the kill shots for Sabres goalie Jhonas Enroth. He would be replaced by our favorite son, Ryan Miller. Here’s a fun stat: It was the third time in the last four games against the Sabres, dating back to Game 7 last year, that the Flyers forced them to pull their goalie. Heh.
Remember the last time?
Surely by now you’ve figured out this whole Hannibal Lecter-kill shot motif, which takes its cues from our favorite post-game comments, perhaps ever, from Miller last year:
"Before we get any further, I’d just like to add one thing: If Mike Richards thinks we’re getting away with murder, I don’t know what he just got away with. Mass murder? [nice joke, asshole] Are we stepping it up a notch? Unbelievable. We lose a player for the rest of the game… that’s the kind of hit the league has been talking about, and it’s dangerous. They better seriously consider looking at that one. It’s unbelievable."
The video is here, to jog your memory.
And, last night, Miller once again couldn’t stop the Flyers’ barrage: Gustassssonsonastfsttfffsson, Talbot again, Voracek, Hartnell. 7-2, good guys. Here’s another stat: By my count, the Flyers have scored 12 goals in roughly 100 minutes, or five periods, against Ryan Miller this season. And, dating back to Game 7 last year, that number increases to 16 goals in 141 minutes, or roughly seven periods. Murdered.
This picture from the Flyers seems to sum up Miller's existence quite well:
As reader Dave points out, after Gustasffsonsosffsosnsfons scored his goal last night, it appeared that the number 2 on his jersey was significantly larger than the 6. I know it could be an optical illusion, but when watching multiple angles (these are the things I do with my time…) the 2 does, in fact, appear to be larger than the 6.
This comes from LOLadelphia.com via reader Nolan:
Funny, but after the two early goals, Bryz did his job last night, which gets us this video from (@fakelavy) on Twitter:
For full game highlights and quotes, jump it over to the deuce.