Eagles Sign Demetress Bell to Five-Year Deal

Kyle Scott —  April 4, 2012 — 7 Comments

Screen Shot 2012-04-04 at 12.06.06 PMPhoto: 6 ABC

Repairs begin.

The Eagles announced today that they have signed offensive tackle Demetress (more on the spelling in a second) Bell to a five-year deal.

Andy Reid by way of the always objective Dave Spadaro:

"Demetress was one of the top free agent offensive linemen available this year and and we are happy to be able to add him to our squad. We had a chance to meet him over the weekend and study him extensively on tape and we came away quite impressed with what we saw and heard. He’s a great athlete."

 

Howie Roseman: 

"Demetress is a guy we’ve followed since he joined the league. He’s a big, athletic left tackle and He has quite a few games of experience under his belt with Buffalo. He’ll excel with our style of play on the offensive line."

 

Bell is the son of Karl Malone. Malone, who was 20 at the time, impregnated Bell's mom when she was at the tender age of 13, according to an ESPN.com story. Malone and Bell do not have a relationship.

Demetress Bell was previously known as Demetrius Bell. He has changed the spelling of his name, according to the Eagles. Because why not?

Henceforth, we will be using Madden ratings to judge all Eagles roster moves, because we think Howie Roseman does the same.

Jason Peters, who Bell will be replacing: 89 (at game’s launch last summer).

Demetress Bell: 73.

Passable, but certainly not a Peters replacement.

Kyle Scott

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7 responses to Eagles Sign Demetress Bell to Five-Year Deal

  1. “Henceforth, we will be using Madden ratings to judge all Eagles roster moves, because we think Howie Roseman does the same.”
    I love it!

  2. 3 Finger Lenny April 4, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Karl Malone would f**k anything with a hole.

  3. Karl Malone is probably a great role model

  4. The Real Penguins fan who goes to Temple April 4, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Typical of black guys

  5. ^ I agree with this guy.

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