Skate Bites: Crazy Ass Kids Come And Knocked Up On Your Door

Screen Shot 2012-04-12 at 9.17.05 AMScreen grab via (@Nickcos)

Let 'em in! Let 'em in!

A classic Dry Island (PLAYOFF EDITION!) game: Danny B does what Danny B does, then summer massacre acquisitions, Brayden Schenn and Jakub Voracek, net the tying and winning goals.

Somewhere, Paul Holmgren is swinging his dick around like a drunk guy with his tie off at an office party. I told you! I told you these guys could play! Even that ugly motherfucker, with the scraggly hair and thinned-out beard, what’s his name, Dora… Vora…. Velocity… Voracek!! Yeah, that guy! I knew what I was doing. You thought I was crazy, but I knew. I KNEW!

And with that, as Jakub slipped one into the back of the net to win Game 1 for the Flyers, 4-3, the ghost of Jeff Carter’s missed Stanley Cup Finals Game 6 opportunity faded into the night.

… 

First, I’ll quote myself from earlier on Danny Briere:  

He lives for the playoffs. His soft hands exist for the sole purpose of finishing high during in-close scrums. His fist pump, engineered to heighten springtime excitement.

 

Those magical, top-shelving hands.  

Some stats courtesy of the Flyers: 

Danny Briere posted his sixth career two-goal playoff game and his fourth as a Flyer.  He now has 31 goals and 30 assists for 61 points in 58 playoff games for the Flyers, and moves past Rick Tocchet into 8th place in on the Flyers all-time playoff scoring list.  Only Briere, Eric Lindros (10th, 24-33-57 in 50 games), Ken Linseman (11th, 11-42-53 in 41 games) and Peter Forsberg (4G, 4A in 6 games in 2005-06) have scored more than a point-per-game on average in the playoffs in Flyers history. 

 

- Schenn: We expect this from Briere, but not sure anyone expected Brayden Schenn’s balls to descend below his ankles. He was playing like… Mike Richards. – ducks! – He hit everything, made defenders bounce off him, and scored the game-tying goal in the third period. 

- Peter Laviolette post-game: “The playoffs are like a loaf of bread. It's slice by slice. Some slices you really like, some are kind of moldy and rotten.” 

Write that down.

- Chris Therien on his Twitter: “I found out what a real Pens fan is! One who boos the 2nd greatest player in the history of their franchise repeatedly because he plays for another team now! Real classy!”

- Richie and Carts had a good night for themselves, too: The Kings beat the Vancouver Canucks, 4-2. Richards had a goal and two assists, and Carter, who was returning from his annual late season foot problem, this time a bruised ankle, had two assists. 

- Former referee Kerry Fraser blames linesman on Briere's offsides.

- Jaromir Jagr did the NHL '94 celebration last night.

Lots of playoff coverage yesterday and last night, so if you missed anything: 

Lavs fist pump GIF 

Jagr makes fun of Bryz, bears

Shane Victorino reacts to the Flyers’ win 

Jagr compares Penguins fans to nagging wife 

Partially cloaked Penguins fan brought these signs to the game 

Your full game highlights are after the jump.

*For those of you looking for Morning Wood: On mornings following Flyers playoff games, we’ll most likely stick to the Flyers and jump back to Wood on days in between.

26 Comments

  1. Agreed on Schenn…if you watched The Kings game afterwards ou would have seen classic Mike Richards. Games are very similar.

  2. So few mention the waved-off icing that led to Pens goal #3. Awful call to wave it off, but evened-up on the non-offsides to Briere. Don’t want to hear this for the next 2 days from Pens fans unless they remember they got a gift, too.

  3. “What ya gonna do brother when Hulka….oh….what…wait…”
    Best screen grab ever!!!!!

  4. Penguins fan who goes to Temple***

    April 12, 2012 at 10:01 am

    If I was a Flyer fan I’d be more cautious about thinking that they won the series. The Pens deserved to loose because they only played a 20 minute game. As they have done many times. Hopefully the lesson will be learned. Still the non call on the offside was a terrible error, it wasn’t even close. refs were terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. I see they fail to teach English at Temple.

  6. Penguins fan who goes to Temple***

    April 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Oh and I forgot to mention I love the cock

  7. Penguins fan who goes to Temple***

    April 12, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Pens fan…. I can’t believe u are bitching about the refs! Do you think it’s ok for Crosby to act like he got shot every time a flyer touches him? How about he icing call that lead to a Pens goal or how about Orpik acting like he was hurt and drawing a call? look at the game objectively you fucking queen

  8. Flyers fan who goes to Drexel

    April 12, 2012 at 10:16 am

    No one said they won the series dick cheese, but seriously can all you bandwagon pens fans finally admit that Fleury is a mediocre goalie at best? Everyone is on his dick just because he maes 1 amazing save once in a while. Now speaking of series over……Flyers take game 2, then its series over.

  9. Taylor the Pens fan has a man face

    April 12, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Who actually dresses up like a fucking bear to go to a NHL playoff hockey game?
    Only in Shittsburgh would you see something that fucking stupid.
    Schenn should have given that bitch Taylor the finger when he tied it up.
    Nice win.
    Rinse.
    Lather.
    Repeat.
    Fuck you Pittsburgh.

  10. Penguin Fan Who Goes To Temple (wtf?),
    Dude, you’re crying about officiating on a Philadelphia sports site?! We don’t want to hear about your pretty princess penguins not having their way, take your loss with some pride and move on to the next battle, the series is far from over. But remember, my Flyers played your Penguins in their own house- er, I guess we can start calling it OUR HOUSE now anyway…

  11. Is there video anywhere of the Penguins jumping around for joy after the first period? Keith Jones mentioned it at the end of the game and said it was a stark contrast to the overtime walk-of-shame they had to do.
    That might be up there with Lav’s fist-pump GIF.

  12. Coming from a Flyers fan that goes to Temple, penguins fan shut up! Don’t blame the Pens for losing the game how about realizing the Flyers earned that W by simply correcting their defensive errors that led to 3 goals in the 1st and came out with more physical play. Be objective when looking at the game and don’t mention the non off-sides call w/o mentioning when pens scored on a non-icing call. Evened the bad calls out, let alone the Pens flopping and looking like little girls getting pushed around. Flyers won that game.

  13. Pen’s look old and Cindy looked a little groggy after the Grossman hit.

  14. Staal standing around in OT

    April 12, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Looks like the Hulkster just realized he has to exit the Consolation Center looking like a fucking retarded drag queen!

  15. Did anyone watch the NBC broadcast? It was blacked out for me, thankfully, so I watched the game on CSN. I’m wondering how throbbing the NBC crew’s crosby boner was, especially when the prick was auditioning for the best supporting actress oscar all night.
    And this game was terribly reffed for both sides for a while. I just don’t get what the league is trying to do. The last game of the season they barely let anyone play, and in this game they let everything under the sun go (other than the obligatory BS calls that the Pens are entitled to by buttman).

  16. I love that the Pens bitch about the refs when they get all the calls.
    the no icing call/no offsides goals even out. other than that the refs were all over the pens’ balls again.
    Orpik threw himself into the boards when Giroux touched him on the back and Crosby gets an oscar for that sequence with Jagr. And Crosby holds a flyers defense after he gets take off the puck and isnt called for it but pens fans want a call against the flyers.
    we beat the pens and the refs last night, suck my dick shitsburgh.

  17. @Pete – Only caught Milbury and Jonesy in the overtime to which they both responded “I’m shocked”. Both of them felt that it was Pittsburgh’s game to lose after a stellar first period (and somewhat second period) and that they couldn’t close the door, which Philly just kicked wide open and took advantage of.

  18. Somewhere Terry Murray is talking about a choking situation.

  19. Flyers Fan Who is Going to Temple

    April 12, 2012 at 11:36 am

    I will kick your ass Penguin pussy

  20. Mark Madden smokes cock.

    April 12, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Staal was standing in front of the net with his nuts in his hand in the ot goal.

  21. Penguins fan who goes to Temple****

    April 12, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    @Flyers Fan Who is Going to Temple- let’s not take it there buddy, I’m here to annoy, not physically fight. I’m a lover, not a fighter

  22. @ Mark Madden….and there best D man Letang passed the puck to Voracek…
    We are in there heads.
    I would rather play a great second half of the game and carry that into the next game then be in the penguins situation where they have not scored in over 2 periods now and have to figure out how to play.
    I am going to say the Pens sit back next game and think D first and try to just counter on a few opportunities.
    But if your the Pens coach who do you focus on? G cause they did in the first game and he didnt do much but then Mr Playoffs killed them. Flyers can roll 4 lines especially with Cooter shutting Malkin down.
    Schenn is a beast…loved Craig Adams and Kennedy trying to check him and he was just like no…try again…then got in Adams face…haha love it.

  23. talk about a hole in one

  24. JohnnyRockets27

    April 12, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    I hate when people complain about the refs seriously. The officiating in the NHL has always sucked, will always suck, and will continue to suck during this series and the rest of the playoffs. That said, its the playoffs, non-calls on penalties sould be welcomed. let the boys play theyre ones who should determine the outcome of the games not the officials. but it is hard to deny that since 2005 (hey isnt that when crosby came into the league? imagine that) the penguins have been treated like ryalty on and off the ice. tortorellas fine is a prime example.
    Fuck the Penguins. Flyers in 6

  25. Scramblin Randall

    April 12, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    I was thinking that the staff at the WFC should play this (http://youtu.be/Jcwsfns7KPQ) when Fleury takes the ice on Sunday.

  26. Kendall Gill's Uptown Fade

    April 12, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    We won, the series is far from over, the refs missed two calls that ended up balancing out and actually did a good job of swallowing the whistle… Can’t be going down early like this though, need to change that… Love the screen cap of that Malkamania d0uche with his head in his hands… i dont see how fleury could be considered mediocre, he one of the best in the league and give me a break the bear costumes would have been seen in any sports town that is passionate(just being ojective here)… Let’s Go Flyers

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