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via (@ChelsCoyle)
 

I call this lede dichotomy

The Flyers have… goals: [via the Flyers’ city-leading PR department]

The Flyers had 12 power play goals in the series, breaking the franchise record of 11 set in the 1989 Division Finals against Pittsburgh.  

The Flyers had 30 goals in the series, which sets a new franchise record for goals in a six-game series.  The previous record was 26 in the 1996 ECQF vs. Tampa Bay. 

The 26 goals scored by the Penguins tied the Flyers franchise record for goals allowed in a six-game series.  The New York Islanders scored 26 goals in the 1980 Finals. 

Claude Giroux finished the series with 14 points, becoming just the second Flyer ever to reach that total in a single playoff series.  The Flyers franchise record is 15 points, established by Tim Kerr in the 1989 Patrick Division Semifinals with 10 goals and 5 assists, also against Pittsburgh.    

 

And with that, Giroux not only asserted himself as the alpha male of the series and perhaps the playoffs, but he also entered the conversation as one of the greatest players in the world. After the game, Peter Laviolette snuck that reference into his post-game press conference: 

Q: Peter, can you talk about Giroux’s leadership, how he’s grown in the last couple of years into more of a leadership type role? 

“Not only leadership but his game tonight was monstrous, it really was.  When the best player in the world comes up to you and tells you, “I don’t know who you’re planning on starting tonight, but I want that first shift”, that says everything you need to know about Claude Giroux right there.”

 

Subtle, Pete. Subtle. 

We’ll obviously have much more Flyers coverage throughout the day and week… but let’s briefly turn our attention to the city’s baseball team, the Philadelphia Phillies, who managed a whopping 11 hits in the final two games (both losses) of their series against the lowly San Diego Padres. 

On Saturday, they pissed away another strong pitching performance, this one by Roy Halladay. And yesterday, were nearly shutout until they managed to sneak a run across the plate in the ninth inning.

This is what Phillies fans looked like after Saturday night’s loss: 

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via (@AMOOREon) 

It gets worse: As you likely already know, Cliff Lee has gone on the DL with a strained oblique– an injury that has popped up during each of the last two springs.

That, or this:

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In five of their last six games, the Phillies have been held to two runs or less.They are second to last in all of baseball in runs scored (43), 13 ahead of the lowly Pirates, but nine behind the Oakland As. They are last in the league in total bases (171) despite being in the middle of the pack in hits. They are tied for second to last in home runs (7) and slugging percentage (.317).

And here’s why all of that really sucks: The Phillies pitching staff has the second best ERA in the league (2.46), behind Washington.  

The pitchers are playing with themselves. No matter how glorious it may be (or how good it feels, at times), the aces and Jonathan Papelbon are without a partner. Without hitters. They’re employing next level masturbatory techniques – watermelons, apple pies, fleshlights – but it’s all for naught. Instead of post-thrust euphoria, afterward they’re just left with shame. Why did I waste two hours DOING THAT? Now I have to clean this white residue off my hat. Am I going to go blind?! These are all of the things they are thinking and more. Their efforts are futile, performed alone, and without the aid of a partner. I feel the same way after watching Phillies games as I do when I watch my parents' nutless dog hump his toy for hours on end– sad and dirty.

Let’s hit it.

 

But first, a word from our sponsors

– Visit Drinker’s Philadelphia locations during all Flyers and Phillies games and get $1 hot dogs. Also, $2 PBRs and $3 SoCO and Limes all day, every day. Instead of cramming into a packed Xfinity Live!, stop by a Drinker’s location to watch the game – with full sound – and come out with your wallet still having some heft to it.

Have drinks with Steve Carlton. This Friday, April 27, head to Teca in West Chester to hang with perhaps the greatest Phillies pitcher of all-time. Details and tickets here.

Knock, knock. Grab your Mac Miller-inspired t-shirt from out friends at Philly Phaithful. Have it in time for Round 2! Get one here.

Yes, there are tickets for the Eastern Conference Semifinals available on Crossing Broad Tickets. Get in to Game 1 for as low as $179. See them all here

 

The roundup

We’re not doing links today. Just a roundup of Flyers nonsense.

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via (@jrsgillespie)

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via (@recordsANDradio)

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via (@JakePavorsky)

 

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via (@MUSCLEZ_MALLON)

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via (@JENNYD72)

 

Matthew Barnaby's son is, apparently, a Flyers fan:

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via (@MattBarnaby3636) 

Even ESPN is trying to get Michael Leighton on the ice. via reader John, who apparently gets his sports news on an iPod:

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Finally,  a famous Vancouver strip club’s way of making a joke at the expense of Mike Richards and Jeff Carter (who advanced to the second round last night)… this picture comes to us via reader Craig, who says that it was taken yesterday and not Photoshopped:

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That Kings-Flyers Final is alive and kicking…