Devils: Readers Have Finally Figured Out Who Devils Coach Pete DeBoer Looks Like, The Team Is Really Worried About Flyers Fans Invading, Kovalchuk Out

Screen Shot 2012-05-01 at 10.40.19 AM
I’m not going to lie to you fine folks– finding a crutch for making fun of Devils coach Pete DeBoer has not been easy. 

You see, last year in the ‘offs, Lindy Ruff’s daughter made it almost too easy for us when she drunkenly wore a Flyers hat to a Temple party.

Dan Bylsma has four eyes. So that was simple.

But DeBoer has been more difficult. He’s a bit of a wallflower, and not terribly animated.

Reader Brian, however, found a resemblance, so striking and uncanny that I’m disappointed in myself for not seeing it sooner. Cousin Eddie. Behold: 

Screen Shot 2012-05-01 at 10.29.41 AM

Surprised, Clark?

We’ll look forward to the Flyers filling up DeBoer’s shitter for the next three games.

Meanwhile, Devils social media man Will Carafello, who has a whopping 485 followers…, is talking some smackish, yo on the interwebtuals:

Screen Shot 2012-05-01 at 10.52.20 AM 

Of course, that Tweet followed this plea for Devils fans not to sell their tickets on secondary markets… like this one

Screen Shot 2012-05-01 at 10.52.06 AM

Good luck, guys. 

While we’re on the topic of lousy Devils fans: The team achieved (?) their highest local TV rating since 2001 with their Game 7 overtime affair on MSG Network against the Panthers last Thursday– 1.7.  

1.7

Game 1 in Philadelphia on Sunday drew a 14.6 local rating

We’ll just let that sit there ^.

Finally, according to reports from Devils scriptuals (and one stealthy reader who claims to know a friend of a friend of a sister of a friend of a dog walker of a friend of someone connected to the Devils), Ilya Kovulchuk will not play tonight (it's now official).

24 Comments

  1. Pete DeBoer looks a mentally challenged version of Kevin Spacey.

  2. Prohockeytalk.com is reporting that the Devils’ GM has announced that Kovalchuk is out so it appears to be official. Nice little break right there. An injured Kovalchuk is still infinitely better and more talented than whoever is going to replace him.

  3. @SteveFromPhilly

    May 1, 2012 at 11:19 am

    He looks like Sloth before the accident.

  4. shitter’s full!

  5. DeBoer looks like Phil Collins. Phil Collins makes Nickleback look like The Rolling Stones!
    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/B1zDuSUeolS._SL600_.jpg
    Look at that! You can’t tell the difference

  6. Thad Matta = Devils Coach

  7. Holy shit T-Bone, that’s freaky looking at those pictures next to each other.

  8. OneManWolfpack

    May 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Classic stuff:
    - Eddie: I don’t know if I oughta go sailin’ down no hill with nothin’ between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
    - Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?
    - Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
    - Clark: Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.
    GO FLYERS!

  9. Snow Balls at Santa

    May 1, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Lame article, dont force it… Kovalchuk out is huge, dont care if hes not 100%. Should be easy to outscore them.

  10. Clark Griswold

    May 1, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Heading up to game 3, looking forward to a ton of orange in North Jersey. Anyone else going?

  11. 3 Finger Lenny

    May 1, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    looks like scott paterno

  12. jtwhite92 – my first thought was Kevin Spacey, too, but Cousin Eddie is better!
    A 1.7 rating for a Game 7??? Wow, that’s bad!

  13. Devils fans are funny. Read a message board of theirs and it makes Penguins fans look like MENSA members.

  14. My compliance guy plays mens’ league with one of the Dev’s video coaches. Apparently the lockerroom is in total disarray. Parise’s lost the team’s confidence, everyone is pissed at the way Kovalchuk was coddle and what a selfish bastard he is, and no one like Cousin Eddie. He was likened to dry white toast in the locker room.

  15. I said on the post the other the Devils were going to try to hide Kovulchuk on the Flyers bench!

  16. Bought tickets for Game 4 right off the Devils website…Section 12, row 9 and cheaper than what I pay for my comparable playoff tickets at the Wells Fargo Center. Doesn’t look like they are working too hard to try and keep Flyers faithful out of their arena. I’m looking for lots of Flyers fans on the train going up!

  17. ThePhillyFlash

    May 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    After the mashup with the Penguins which had all the aesthetic quality of a 20-car pile-up on the Schuykill, a nice, quiet and boring domination of the Devils will be just what the doctor ordered.

  18. I’m going to Game 3.. didn’t have to use a secondary market to get my ticket.. purchased it right from the Devils and it was cheaper than using stubhub, etc. Guess they aren’t too concerned when it comes to taking my money.

  19. Doug McConnell

    May 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    I had to slob a guys knob to get my nose bleeds to game 4!

  20. Pintrest is Gay

    May 1, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    I agree, I think Phil Collins is the better call. We sing In the Air Tonight everytime he is on TV

  21. I always enjoy reading the smack talk. Obviously I come in peace. Just wanted to point out two things. About the ticket sales: Flyers fans know how to get tickets. Anyone can go on Ticketmaster and Stubhub and do whatever they want. What the Devils are trying to do is keep tickets that are priced at season ticket holder prices and the random discounts Devil fans get to just Devils fans which is fair and understandable. The Devils don’t want to be giving discounts to opposing teams fans to fill the building when we proved all four home games in 2009 against Carolina and all three home games against Florida this year that we can fill the building ourselves.
    I don’t mind opposing fans in the building… but you can pay full price! At least it’s not what Columbus did the one year they made the playoffs. They made ticket sales completely zip code specific. There was a certain form on ticketmaster where you had to prove where you live in order to buy tickets. The Penguins have done this before as well.
    As for the tv ratings. You know the Devils and Rangers share a market. The Ranger game started at 7 and the Devils game at 8:30. The Devils game was also only televised on the local TV network which is not provided on some local network carriers. You’re comparing that to a game that was televised on a national market on a channel that everyone gets. It’s also not a surprise that the Flyers get better TV ratings. You have a larger audience, larger network coverage, and are owned by a national corporation. You get Delaware, South Jersey, and half of Pennsylvania… I’m sure some Maryland too.

  22. OneManWolfpack

    May 1, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    No one watched the Devils game 7 because no one cares. That would have been a better way to say it.

  23. “The Devils don’t want to be giving discounts to opposing teams fans to fill the building when we proved all four home games in 2009 against Carolina and all three home games against Florida this year that we can fill the building ourselves.”
    Bullshit. They tell you that to make you feel valued but the truth is anyone else’s money is just as green as yours. Trust me. I have your front office bugging me day and night with offers, which is ironic because when I was *supposed* to get free Devs tickets (when I was a Trenton Devils STH), they couldn’t back off that promise fast enough.
    Also, quit whining about the “local market only” bullshit. It’s the largest fucking media market in the world, and it brushes right up against the Philadelphia market and even overlaps with it. MSG gives the Devils more exposure than they deserve. They could have well kicked you onto the Public Access network as they have done in the past.
    The fact is, the Devils are a micromarket team. MICROMARKET. Northern and Western Jersey. And it’s not the Flyers who are killing you in Jersey, it’s the Rangers. I’ve lived in Central Jersey for twelve fucking years, and to this day I know ONE Devils fan. Singular. Everyone else are Rangers fans.

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