Morning Wood: Jim Thome is Mashing Right Now

Screen Shot 2012-06-15 at 9.33.13 AMPhoto:

Good a.m. Thanks to a slow start following last night’s (dare I call it) raucous Boy Meets World Quizzo at Drinker's, we’re going to let reader Dave write today’s lede, which, of course, is a Major League reference: 

“We won a game yesterday, if we win one today that's two in a row. If we win one tomorrow, that's called a winning streak.”

The Phillies won last night, 6-1. It was their second win in a row. If they win another– winning streak.

Let’s start straightaway by calling out Jim Thome’s ridiculous six game stretch:

He is 11 of his last 24, with two doubles, three home runs, 13 RBIs, and, over that stretch, he leads the Majors in really old guys being happy just to be alive. For realstons. He’s playing the game like an old dog that was just given one of those wheelie things to drag around his now useless hind legs: 

Screen Shot 2012-06-15 at 9.07.46 AM

Aww. See how happy Jim is? He’s just a good boy! 

Keep mashing, Gentleman Jim. Keep mashing. 

Reader (@CDew27_1J8) noticed that home plate umpire Manny Gonzalez (is that… Russian?) may or may not have pissed himself:

Screen Shot 2012-06-15 at 9.15.54 AM

Domonic Brown re-injured his left knee strain.

Finally, congrats to last night's quizzo winner The Exits. Crazy turnout. Something like 30 teams and well over 100 people:

Screen Shot 2012-06-15 at 9.30.40 AM
Screen Shot 2012-06-15 at 9.30.40 AM


  1. Jaime Lannister

    June 15, 2012 at 9:50 am

    couple of st joes prep guys win quizzo. no surprise there

  2. Hey I think Utley needs one of those carts! LMAO

  3. Blitzen's Pubes

    June 15, 2012 at 10:16 am

    The Exits. What a great team name. Too bad Demon Seeds had to cancel.

  4. Kids look like losers!

  5. I’ll bet the walked away with a ton of pussy last night
    – admitting you stay in everyday to watch ABC family and jerkoff to a 12 year old topanga (or the shittier savage brother) is great times

  6. can you post the questions please. That would be great.

  7. “for realstons”??
    what the fuck is that shit

  8. I wanted to attend Quizzo last night. My team name would have been Boy Meets Wood.

  9. Remember that dude Beez Nutz
    Remember he told you all that Thome would fix this lineup
    Beez was awesome

  10. Either that ump had severe crotch sweat or an uncontrollable bladder.
    Umps pants in 5th –
    Umps pants in 8th –

  11. Gross dissed Thome after Thome’s home run, looked like he couldn’t be bothered talking hitting with him on the bench.

  12. Thats the same kid who wins every week on the left sans girlfriend. Looks like he came outta the closet.

  13. seriously Kyle “for realstons”? Just fucking give up.

  14. Carl the snatch eater

    June 15, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Tons of fat cunts at quizzo

  15. Christian Stengal

    June 16, 2012 at 9:59 am

    What a bunch of nerds.. The GNA Falcons would beat them down if they were up Eden

  16. Less is more with Charmin Ultra

    June 17, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    yeah prep.

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