Tonight is Hunter Pence Bobblehead Night (!!!)

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COME OUT TONIGHT TO CELEBRATE YOUR FAVORITE PLAYER AND ONE OF THE NEW FACES OF THE FRANCHISE! ALL FANS WILL RECEIVE A HUNTER PENCE BOBBLEHEAD, WHICH PAYS HOMAGE TO THE QUIRKY RIGHT FIELDER, WHO WE ALL LOVE SO MUCH.

LET’S GO EAT, YOU SAY? YES, LET’S. THE SPECIAL FOR THE EVENING IS ONE BOBBLING PENCE, IN AN ALTERNATE UNIFORM, WITH HIS TRADEMARKED HIGH LEG KICK.

AND DON’T WORRY, UNLIKE THAT OSWALT BOBBLEHEAD YOU HAVE, THE PENCE BOBBLEHEAD WON’T BE GOING OUT OF STYLE ANYTIME SOON. HE’S UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE PHILLIES THROUGH THE END OF NEXT SEASON. HE’S ONLY 29, IN THE PRIME OF HIS CAREER AND, ALONG WITH RYAN HOWARD, IS ONE OF ONLY TWO PLAYERS THE PHILLIES CAN COUNT ON NEXT SEASON TO HIT 20 HOME RUNS AND DRIVE IN AT LEAST 90 RUNS. SO COME ON OUT TO CITIZENS BANK PARK TO GET YOUR HUNTER PENCE BOBBLEHEAD AT THE 265TH CONSECUTIVE SELLOUT AS THE PHILS GO FOR A SIXTH STRAIGHT DIVISION CROWN! WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUBEMEN! 

Never mind. The Phils had this planned for months and got permission from Pence to hand out his bobblehead even though he’s, you know, a Giant. Still, I’m sure a few folks will gleefully accept their collector’s item. But someone should tell this kid his shipment isn’t coming:

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Poor guy.

11 Comments

  1. Why does the bobblehead look like Pat Burrell?

  2. that pic is funny as s

  3. Get Your Own Schtick

    August 21, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Recommendation for Kyle: Come up with your own, fresh schtick. If I wanted to read strikethrough, I’d go to Grantland and Bill Simmons.

  4. should put a 6 or 11 on the back and do a rolling or howard bobblehead night and just leave the bobblehead white

  5. Another accurate likeness from china.

  6. enjoy! (evil laugh) MUHAHAHA! MUHAHAHA!

  7. I wonder how the pu$$ is treating Hunter in SF

  8. Probably not good, he still can’t get the sheena stank off his junk.

  9. Candy from the Oak

    August 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    Heard Hunter is a huge fan of the Asian washy in SF

  10. I agree, the strikeout font is getting old and overused

  11. Put a glove on that kid and he’s Desi Relaford

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