From reader Tom. Subject: Kyle Scott. Read.
Dude, cover more sixers so when they win the Atlantic and then the eastern conference people won't be calling you a bandwaggoning blogger.
Sent from my iPhone
OK. First off, could win Atlantic. Not coming even remotely close to winning the Eastern Conference.
But I’ll humor you. So what, exactly, would you like me to talk about?
Would you like me to talk about Andrew Bynum, who the Sixers said, on October 1, would miss the first three weeks of practice but now it’s three weeks and two days later and the pre-season is over and there is still no update on him? That guy? OK, let’s talk about him.
Here’s what we know so far about Bynum: He’s a highly-skilled 24-year-old center who is kind of a flake and has a history of knee problems. Thus far in his time in Philadelphia he has A) undergone a previously scheduled non-invasive procedure on his knees in Germany. B) A few weeks later, he experienced discomfort in his right knee. Some called it a bone bruise, the Sixers hinted that it was an expected outcome from the procedure. C) A week later, he met with reporters looking – no exaggeration here – like a homeless man who had just smoked away his last $30. Without opening myself up for a lawsuit, I’ll say that, devoid of context, I thought Bynum was high during this interview. C2) We learned that Bynum plans to grow out his afro for about a year. D) Two days later, Howard Eskin posited that not only are Bynum’s knee troubles worse than the Sixers are letting on, but also that the Lakers gave the Sixers damaged goods. E) The next week, it was reported that Bynum would undergo another previously planned knee procedure that absolutely no one knew about. F) Now Doug Collins is preparing to start the season without the player the Sixers acquired in a breathtaking trade (Adam Aron’s words, not mine). G) There’s no update on Bynum. But the LA Times ran this article today, citing Lakers assistant coach Chuck Person, who said just how much better than Bynum Dwight Howard is. Look:
Dwight Howard has instincts that his predecessor has rarely shown, scoring five times off alley-oop passes and teammates' missed shots in an exhibition game against Sacramento. Unlike Bynum, Howard's not a guy who needs the ball in the post, though he showed a left-handed hook shot against the Kings.
"Dwight's body is far more genetically gifted than Andrew. Andrew has had some issues obviously in his lower extremities in both knees," said Lakers assistant coach Chuck Person, who worked with Bynum last season and now Howard. "Andrew is gifted within his own right, but Dwight brings much better force because he's faster, quicker, more explosive, and he understands the game a lot better at this point than Bynum does.
"We have a much more gifted player on our hands, no doubt. Dwight understands who he is and what he's trying to accomplish. 'Drew understands where he needs to go, but he's still searching on how to get there."
Howard is a great player, no doubt, but it’s almost as if reporters and Person were just waiting to take digs at Bynum.
So there, Tom, we talked about Bynum.
Want to keep going?
Want to talk about the myth that is Maalik Wayns? We did that yesterday. Don’t expect him to play more than five completely nonsensical minutes per game. Do buy his Roma jersey next season.
Should we talk about the most meaningless pre-season in all of sports, where players, most of whom mail it in for 75% of regular season games, have little incentive to give it their all, save for the fringe guys like Wayns who always shine brighter than their star’s output? Should we talk about that? No, let’s not. Because it doesn’t mean anything, and no one cares anyway. It’s pre-season basketball, holmes. I’d rather give a recap on the presidential debates than talk about the slopfests that are pre-season games. You know who the Sixers started last night? Damien Wilkins, Thaddeus Young, Lavoy Allen, Royal Ivey and Jason Richardson. Fucking Royal Ivey started… and I don’t even know who Damien Wilkins is. I’m not kidding you. That. Who the hell is that?
Would you like me to talk about how most GMs in the league think the Sixers will finish third in their division?
Would you like me to talk about the emails I got from a few fans who said that the Sixers, without warning, moved their paid-for season ticket seats from the aisle to the center of the row for no apparent reason?
What, exactly, would you like me to talk about?!