Sixers Playboy Co-Owner Wants to Save All The Ho Hos by Buying Hostess

image from mobilwi.typepad.com

"Well, this is ironic, isn't it, Kia?"

Get ready Philadelphia! You know that big-ass, somewhat wasteful, mega t-shirt launcher the Sixers bought (constructed?) this year… well, it may soon start firing out greasy, cream-filled shits, much to the delight of Monty G:

image from mobilwi.typepad.com

Baby, baby!

According to a report by Fortune, Sun Capital has expressed interest in saving the day for fatties everywhere by acquiring Hostess, the makers of Twinkies, Ho Hos, and other fine overrated treats. Sun Capital’s CEO? Well, that would be none other than Marc Leder, the Mitt Romney-supportin', sex-party throwing', kid-fatherin’ co-owner of your Philadelphia 76ers:

 "I think that we could offer a slightly better, more labor-friendly deal than what was on the table last week," says Sun co-CEO Marc Leder, in an interview with Fortune. "We also think that one point the unions have made is that there hasn't been a great amount of reinvestment in the business. We've found that investing new capital into companies like this can be very positive for brand, people and profitability… We would look to invest in newer, more modern, manufacturing assets that would enable the company to become more productive and to innovate."

"Do you see M&Ms or Mars having any trouble? Or Haagen Dazs or Godiva? People like to indulge in desserts. Obviously you don't eat only Twinkies for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but people love them as a snack."

 

Awesome. You talk about the potential for synergistic promotions. Owner Joshua Harris already brought on American Idol alum Ayla Brown (Harris’ holding company owns the rights to the show). Now his partner, Leder, may be able to hand out Twinkies as incentive for fans to buy tickets and, you know, forget about the fact that Andrew Bynum won’t be on the court anytime soon. Also, I think Adam Aron just found his mascot, and yeah, it totally looks like a penis with a hat on:

 
Twinkie_mascot

 

UPDATE: As I wrote this, a judge ruled that Hostess and a worker’s union will have to go through mediation tomorrow, an action that could eventually save the company. But there are still many hurdles and it’s unclear if that would change an investor like Sun Capital’s interest in buying.

7 Comments

  1. He prolly sticks his dick in Twinkies

  2. Candy from the Oak

    November 19, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    I would love to eat a Twinkie out off one of his sluts ass

  3. Is that EDP in the sixers shirt ???

  4. WHO. THE. FUCK. CARES

  5. Hotess Union Blows

    November 20, 2012 at 2:40 am

    Their worker union went on strike saying they wanted more money and the company said if you don’t take this deal we do bankrupt. Funny because their union drivers took every concession to keep working. People are stupid

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