Screen Shot 2012-12-14 at 8.44.50 AM
Weird. I feel like I’ve seen that headline about the Eagles before. Can’t remember where. Sounds familiar, though.

Anyway, we’ll look for Morning Wood and Your Morning Carts to come to a Daily News near you soon. For now, here are some brief pieces of shit from the Eagles’ 10th loss of the season. 

– I fell asleep at some point early in the second half with the score still 13-10. I woke up near the end of the fourth quarter to see that it was 34-13 (!!!). Gah. Oddly, I wasn’t even surprised. It was like, “Oh, right, of course they were outscored 24-nothing during my 60-minute nap.” So, I have nothing to say about that. It just is. And to be honest, I don’t really care. I suspect you don’t either.

– Brandon Graham finally got in someone’s head:

Screen Shot 2012-12-14 at 8.46.10 AM
 - I’m not quite sure why all the local media outlets have dozens of stories from the Eagles game. Who’s reading them? I know it’s the football team and you have to cover all sides, but really, is anyone consuming prose about a painful loss for Clay Harbor, Brandon Graham finding his stride, why it is hard to gauge Foles’ progress, or the Eagles-Bengels report card (THEY ALL GET A BIG, FAT FUCKING "F" HOW'S THAT?)? Like, do any of you care about those things? Or are you like me, and would rather see Koy Detmer’s Xbox Live gamertag, courtesy of reader Tom, who found himself on a Halo 4 squad with the former Eagles quarterback earlier this week:

Hello Mr. Scott,

So i was playing halo 4 on xbox live (well trolling on xbox live) and i stumbled across a teammate with the gamertag "Koy Detmer." I laughed and thought of good old Koy Detmer (you know, botched place kick holding, 14 interceptions in 7 games Koy Detmer). Anyways, following the game I sent him a message, because it isnt everyday you play a game with Koy Detmer. Heres what I sent to him: "Koy! Yo dude! Come back to the Birds man! The team sucks we need you! Im sure the team will give you a shot!" I know he sucks, but why not throw out a line to see if even the lifetime backup would want to come back to this team.

Screen Shot 2012-12-14 at 8.34.40 AM

See, that, to me, is substantially more entertaining than reading about players who, themselves, will be relegated to the sidelines of life – online gaming – next fall.

– The one interesting item from last night’s game was the play of the defensive line, which has improved significantly since asshole Jim Washburn was canned. Sheil Kapadia over at Philly Mag has that story

– Oh yeah, and Brad Nessler is substantially better in NCAA Football than he is doing NFL games.

Go Birds!