Your Tuesday Morning Roundup: A Big, Fat Holiday Edition

Kyle Scott —  December 11, 2012 — 25 Comments

Locthe_five

A roundup for this morning of twos.  

Some frivolous and noteworthy items from the past few days that I didn’t get a chance to get to yesterday, in part because Hayley, our one and a half year old Lab-Whippet mix, thought it would be a good idea to roll around in mud and then treat bath time like it was a trip to Splash Mountain. 

Let’s hit it.

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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- CHRISTMAS MOVIE QUIZZO. Tonight at Drinker’s West at 8 p.m. Tomorrow at Drinker’s Tavern at 8:30 p.m. Four movies: Home Alone, A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, and Elf. Originally, the questions were going to be the same each night. But we’ve decided to switch it up. So, if come tonight and tomorrow, you will hear different questions– two chances to play, two chances to win. More here.

- Want to meet Donovan McNabb and Brian Dawkins? How about both? McNabb will be signing autographs at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall on Saturday, January 5 from 1 – 2:30. Dawkins will be at the Sports Vault in the Exton Square Mall on Saturday, January 19 from 1 – 3:30. Details and tickets here. 

- Betting advice? Stop by GodatherLocks.com and save $20 off daily picks by using code Crossing. Godfather Locks has a 95% NBA winning total and offers guarantees so you’re always a winner. Check it out here.

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- Give the gift of love and self-discovery to yourself or someone else (or both of you simultaneously?) this holiday season with a subscription to GirlsOfPhilly.com. With 10 years of local girls, it’s almost guaranteed you’ll see someone you know, or someone from your town, naked. Click here. Landing page is SFW, but after that, you’re own your own.

- Philly Phaithful’s ’93 line is a hot-seller this holiday season. Get t-shirts and apparel celebrating Dutch, Mickey, Milt, the Krukker, Lenny and others. Use code cbgiftpack and get three t-shirts for $50. Shop here. 

- Monkey’s Uncle, in Doylestown, is your place for licensed retro and vintage sports and Philly-related gear. Clarke, Bernie, Dr. J, and Schmidt are all present. Use code BROAD to get $10 off orders of $50 or more. Shop here

- The Armadillo Club features original apparel celebrating Philly and our favorite athletes. Make Harry proud by picking up the Whitey shirt, or grab The Minister of Defense jam. Get 25% off with code FIREANDY. Shop here.  

-  Joe Conklin’s new comedy DVD, Voices In My Head, makes a perfect holiday gift. Includes content from over 20 years of bringing celebrity voices to the stage and screen, and it features a behind-the-scenes look at Conklin’s work for WIP. Get one for $14.99 on Amazon.

 

The roundup:

- Ben Revere ate so much food on Sunday night that he almost shat himself:

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- Adam Aron managed to find a line more meaningless and absurd then third most wins in NBA history:

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- Andrew Bynum spoke with reporters before the Sixers beat the Pistons last night. Here’s what he had to say about his knees… and his hair.

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Knees: [CSN Philly]

“I feel pain walking around, so it’d be silly to go out and start playing basketball right away (once cleared) because it’s just going to get worse,” Bynum said, noting that the swelling in his right knee is gone. “If this was the Finals and we have a chance to win, I’d be able to play. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? But why risk anything when you have time to come back and be 100 percent?”

 

In other words: No one in the Association is 100%. Like me. But do you really think I’m going to ruin my chances at getting a max contract playing in games in December and January? Aww hell no! I’ll be back late-February, so I can play just long enough to show a few GMs who will be stupid enough to want to sign me that I still got it. After all, I’m only 25… and, you know, my hair.

Hair: [Delco Times]

How much higher can the afro grow?

“Oh man, I want it to go forever, man. There’s going to come and point in time where it’s not going to be growing, so I might as well enjoy it while I have it.”

Why flatten it like Dora the Explorer that one time?

“It wasn’t Dora, man. It was ‘Pimp Named Slickback’ (a character from The Boondocks cartoon). No, I flattened it because it gets boring picking it out all the time.”

 

I always get bored picking my hair out too. Pain. In. The. Ass, I tell you.

- NBC Sports and Yahoo! Sports, two of the most web-forward sports outlets there are, have partnered up in what can only be described as a big, internetworkal handjob:

While Yahoo! Sports and the NBC Sports Group will continue to maintain separate sites and editorial control of their respective newsrooms and digital properties, they will collaborate on premium sports news and events coverage both online and on the air. Yahoo! Sports’ popular products will also be included in the NBC Sports Group’s digital assets.

 

We are very close to having two major sports media conglomerates– ESPN and Comcast-NBC-Yahoo!-whatever-the-fuck. I don’t think that’s a good thing. 

- The Phillies had talked with the Indians about Asudubai Assange Abunasir Assdribble Arsonarnie Andersoncooper Asdrbuablabrlabal Asdrubal Cabrera. Words from Cleveland:

Before the start of the winter meetings last week in Nashville, the two teams were talking about a trade that would have sent shortstop Asdrubal Cabrera to Philadelphia for right-hander Vance Worley and prospects.

 

- Eagles fan kisses reporter on live television following first win since Hurricane Sandy and all three presidential debates. UPDATE: Not Philadelphia Eagles fan. Still funny.

- Phillies Nation explains how the Phillies have enough money to sign Josh Hamilton.

- Look out, ladies. It's the holiday season and Dom Brown is prowling. A tipster sends along this screenshot – from last year – of Dom Brown flirting with a lady on Facebook (not the first time we’ve heard this):

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- Michael Vick and LeSean McCoy passed their concussion tests and other news that we really don’t care about.

- And Johnny Football’s girlfriend.

H/T to Tyler

Kyle Scott

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25 responses to Your Tuesday Morning Roundup: A Big, Fat Holiday Edition

  1. youve really stooped low enough to accept advertising from porn sites? sick creep that might be the end of my daily page clicks.

  2. guess you won’t be listening to 97.5 or WIP, or reading the Daily News either, because they all advertise same stuff, strip clubs. lighten up, bro

  3. Christina Lurie’s Left Tit December 11, 2012 at 11:14 am

    You are a sick money-grubbing whore to advertise for gambling and porn sites. My owner’s husband is almost as bad (but not quite). You sicken me and I wish you nothing but the worst.

  4. Christina Lurie’s Right Tit December 11, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Don’t listen to my twin sister. She’s a boob (literally, haha!) You do your thang, big boy. Keep up the hard-hitting journalism regarding Philly sports! Maybe she’ll lighten up and the two of us can give you a “job” (wink wink). That is, if you decide you’re not a flaming homo.

  5. Christina Lurie’s Twat December 11, 2012 at 11:35 am

    Fuck my tits, listen to me, I’m nice and warm

  6. The Original that guy December 11, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Having two major sports conglomerates, ESPN and NBC-YAHOO-COMCAST, is actually a good thing. This way Tim Tebow and “The Decision” will not be the ONLY things being discussed. ESPN also REALLY lacks on Hockey coverage, that NBC will no doubt pick up. If NBC is smart, they would try to pick up a few mid major college conference basketball contracts as well for national TV. A-10 is going to be growing and more competitive with the Catholic 7 wanting out of the Big East, plus St. Joe’s and La Salle will get more coverage.
    I mean ESPN is kind of dated. They show Sports center like 14 hours of a 24 hour day, which have sports news that is dated. I would much rather watch some type of sport. They could have Rugby or gaelic/aussie football at night, lumberjack competition, worlds stongest man instead of non-stop SC. Don’t they have ESPN News for 24/7 SC content?
    I also think its a matter of time before Fox Sports really gets big. Their big focus has been international soccer (which blows a donkey dick), but its a matter of time until they start other coverages.

  7. Candy from the Oak December 11, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Can’t wait for quizzo tonight Also there clips of that mutt in the phils t fisting her ass like mrs Jason babin Brianna frost

  8. “First a word from our sponsers…
    Depends for Racists! If you pee a little every time you see a MEXICAN… you need… Depends for Racists!”

  9. Kyle, no one gives a shit about your dog, girlfriend or house.
    And call me crazy but shouldn’t the actual content be longer than the word from your sponsors?

  10. need more ads

  11. Christina Lurie’s Twat December 11, 2012 at 11:48 am

    @The original that gut….way too long of a post bro, nobody gives a shit

  12. What are the odds of Dom Browns FB creep being African American

  13. Christina Lurie’s Anus December 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    @Twat…I give plenty….

  14. LOL. I needed a few laughs day. Good job, Kyle.

  15. Christina Lurie’s Twat December 11, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    I would like to scissor with that chick in the phillies tee

  16. I want to sucker godfather locks for losing me so much $ this past October

  17. Christina Lurie’s Left Tit December 11, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    My nipple is tender.

  18. I am so proud of my son.
    I also like anal sex.

  19. @thatguy, truth. Competition will only improve the product. Plus, a legitimate alternative is needed to balance ESPN’s lazy ass pandering to mouth breathers with their “all two million of Philadelphia’s residents hate Santa, kids, and veterans” message. And any organization that employs Jemele Hill is a fucking joke. In other news, Johnny Football’s GF lookis like she is 30.

  20. Is it just my connection or is this site having loading problems? Thanks

  21. pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  22. Dom Brown is a coon!

  23. How funny is it that the ads appear but the name of the site doesn’t? Pretty fitting, I’d say.

  24. your audience hates you so much Kyle..kill yourself

  25. dude, can’t even spell the name of your sponsor’s website right

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