Chip Kelly Studied His Philly Cheat Sheet and Jeffrey Lurie Doesn’t Know How to Pronounce “Oregon”

Screen Shot 2013-01-17 at 3.13.13 PMUpdated image from Joe in the comments

I’ve been watching a lot of The West Wing on Netflix lately. A good portion of the show focuses on communications director Toby Zeigler and deputy director Sam Seaborn, who are tasked with crafting the perfect message for President Jed Bartlet– the right words to say to a particular audience. They're speechwriters.

I don’t suspect that Chip Kelly had a Toby Zeigler and Sam Seaborn to help him prepare for his opening press conference. But, his hitting on myriad Philly-centric bullet points certainly made it seem that way.

Kelly told CSN’s Derrick Gunn that he spent nearly a decade recruiting in the area, from Cape May to central PA. So he knows the landscape, has listened to local talk radio, is familiar with what makes many Eagles fans tick. Since stepping off the plane last night, Kelly has been eager to show off his Philly knowledge (he stopped just short of asking for a glass of wooder at today's press conference), unfurling his list of Phillyisms, along with some other, somewhat brainy, quotes:

Santa Claus (last night): "[Being tracked like Santa Clause] was flattering until I remembered the Philly fans booed Santa Claus."

Booooo.

 

Wing Bowl: “I know the second most important bowl beside the Super Bowl, which is my goal, is the Wing Bowl. I am not going to participate, but I understand what this city is all about.”

Somewhere, Angelo Cataldi, who shared a mutual disdain with Andy Reid, is thrilled.

 

Vince Papale: “I’m going to look at everybody. If you can throw the ball and run, I’ll take you (reporter) out there. I don’t know if we have any Vince Papales out there, but I’ll tell you right now, we’re going to look at everything we can do to put the best product on the field, and that’s what it’s all about.”

Eagles fans from Torresdale to the Boulevard rejoice. He gets us! He really gets us!

 

This wonderful pun about avians: “Sometimes you have to leave the nest to better yourself. Or, leave one nest as a Duck and go to another nest as an Eagle.”

Fly, Kelly, fly.

 

Dick Vermeil? Spoke to him. Andy Reid? Him too: “Andy reached out to me and told me about his experience here, just told me what this organization is all about. When Andy texted me yesterday when I accepted the job, I told him I had really big shoes to fill. In typical Andy fashion, he told me to just be myself and I’ll be fine.”

Unless yourself is a wagon-circling nut who has a contempt for Eagles fans.

 

On going back to college: “I’m all in. I think it was Cortés who burned the boats. I burned the boats. I’m not going back. I’m in. I’m an NFL coach.”

That’s a Hernán Cortés reference. Cortés was a Spanish conquistador who captured Tenochtitlan in 1521.

 

Other notes:

- Kelly seemed to be buddy-buddy with noted Reid antagonizer Les Bowen, who flew to Arizona to cover Kelly at the Fiesta Bowl earlier this month.

- The Eagles interview with Kelly in Arizona the day after the Fiesta Bowl lasted nine hours.

- Kelly thanked the Eagles for there being no leaks so he could tell his players first about him taking the job. Kelly said that he cried more than his players did.

- Big Balls Chip kept referring to the Eagles as a “program,” a collegey term I can get used to.

- He said he never demanded power and just wants to coach football. He’s not a “salary cap guy.” Which is great, because Roseman is.

- The media seemed to like Kelly. Funny what happens when a guy answers their questions.

- WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL JEFFREY LURIE THAT IT’S NOT FUCKING “ORE-GONE,” BUT OREGON. gahn. or. eh. gahn.

22 Comments

  1. What kind of grown ass man goes by Jeffrey

  2. King Dunlap Is a Bitch

    January 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Chip Kelly could’ve gone up there, recited the ABC’s backwards, walked out and the media would still like him over Reid.
    Let’s see how they are after a season ok?

  3. There are a myriad of words (used as a noun in this case, not an adjective) one can use instead of constantly using myriad.
    Definition: innumerable
    Synonyms: countless, endless, gobs, heaping, immeasurable, incalculable, infinite, multiple, multitudinous, no end of, numberless, thousand-and-one, uncounted, untold, variable

  4. Thesaurus motherfucker... DO YOU USE IT?!

    January 17, 2013 at 4:07 pm

    Seriously, you’d think Webster’s or some shit is paying Kyle to use “myriad” and “bit of tid” in every other fucking post.

  5. A Huge Wingbowl Fan

    January 17, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    Imagine all the pussy he’s going to get

  6. I killed it today

  7. A Huge Wingbowl Fan

    January 17, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    God I hope he goes to the Wingbowl.
    I’m so pumped for the Wingbowl

  8. Seriously? You guys are ripping Kyle for myriad??? I give up.

  9. Candy from oaks meth dealer

    January 17, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    Looks like Colin Quinn a little no?

  10. We’re stuck with Vick. We’re doomed.
    Guy seems like a world class asshole too.

  11. Thesaurus motherfucker... DO YOU USE IT?!

    January 17, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    @Bill
    It’s not that he used it. It’s that he uses it at least 3-4 times a week.
    We get it, you want to use a quirk in the language. But you don’t have to use it at EVERY opportunity, which is what he does.
    Which, my friend, is bad writing.

  12. Disdain for Andy Reid…..Typical media. I am convinced that if you are a sports “reporter” you were obviously the last one picked in the school yard and have nothing but contempt for those who have forgotten more about a sport than you ever have known….Anybody remember the Eagles pre-Andy Reid? Exactly, not worth remembering. Yes it is time for a new voice. But the man made the Birds relevant for over a decade. You all (media) hate him b/c he didn’t kiss your pastey butts.

  13. Bartholomew Hunt

    January 17, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    the fuck u know about Tenochtitlan

  14. The Original that guy

    January 17, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    @Bartholomew
    I know that it has “tit” in the middle. Can I get Ms. Lurie’s Left to help me out here?

  15. William Visconto

    January 17, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    This gimmick shit won’t work.. I am old Skool , we should of hired Rex Ryan brother

  16. 3 finger Lenny and candy from oak r faggots…like me

  17. quit the homophobia, ignorant fuck!

  18. ‘Or-eh-gun (like almost Organ)

  19. A Huge Wingbowl Fan

    January 18, 2013 at 8:08 am

    Wingbowl 2 weeks away. Tits tits tits

  20. Cortez the Killer!

  21. It’s actually closer to OR-i-gun, said quickly. I spent 2+ yrs in the PNW and was quickly corrected not to say OR-uh-GAHN

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