Through a publicist who incorrectly punctuated both his client’s first and last name in an email, LeSean McCoy, whose name is correctly auto-completed by even my iPad as I write this, issued the following statement, presumably written by said publicist, about his baby mama drama:

In light of the recent events that played out over Twitter this past weekend, I would like to express how deeply sorry and remorseful I am to my family, the Philadelphia Eagles, my fans, and every young person who views me as a role model. This is not who I am as a person, nor the image I ever wanted to portray of myself. It’s definitely not the example I want to set for my son.

My Twitter account was not hacked. I take full responsibility and I apologize for trying to make it seem like it was not me. Due to my bad judgment and frustration, I allowed a very personal matter to be played out on a social network, of all things. It was immature and unprofessional for me to do so and to encourage others to join in.

As a parent , emotions are often magnified when there are stressful and emotional situations concerning them.I take great pride in being a good father and strive to one day be a great one. I’ve always done everything in my means to provide for my son financially, emotionally, and most importantly with my time and heart. I am sick over the fact that my actions have caused pain to him and all involved. I have decided to handle this matter privately from here on out and I thank everyone for their continued support.

Sadly, no mention of the dick doctor.

McCoy’s publicist tells me that McCoy will, in time, reactivate his Twitter account.