Today in “Ryan Lochte, Douchebag”: Douchebag Ryan Lochte Gets Own Douchebag TV Show

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Quick, give me the douchiest name you can think of for a reality TV show starring Ryan Lochte.

Anything?

Here’s one: What Would Ryan Lochte Do?

Yes, that title is a rhetorical question… otherwise the answer would be “making duck faces and wearing obnoxiously large sunglasses ftw– JEAH!”

But that’s what E!* has decided to name its new six-episode series starring the guy who is just simply isn’t as good as Michael Phelps, the greatest ever.

From FOX News:

Airing on E!, "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" will follow the 28-year-old swimmer as he prepares for the 2016 Rio Olympics while developing his fashion line, making media appearances, dealing with his family and friends, and searching for a girlfriend.

"Ryan Lochte captured everyone's attention at the Summer Olympics with his athletic prowess and his utterly unique and unaffected approach to life," E! Entertainment President Suzanne Kolb said Monday.

"He is an incredibly endearing personality who is sexy, entertaining and fun. Watching this show, I believe people will fall into three categories: they want to be him, sleep with him or mother him."

The show will include Lochte's family — his mother, Ike, his older married sisters Kristen and Megan, his younger brother and roommate Devon, and his nephews. Viewers will get to see the swimmer's eclectic collection of shoes that top out at more than 150 and the blinged-out accessories he favors.

Lochte, whose signature catch phrase is the made-up word "Jeah!", will be seen hitting the clubs in Gainesville, Fla., where he lives, and training with coach Gregg Troy. 

 

Incredibly, that’s not satire. This is a real thing. Move over, Honey Boo Boo– there's a new trainwreck in town, and this one has six-pack abs.

*Not surprising it’s a network with an exclamation point in their name. I guess Yahoo! hasn’t ventured into web series yet.

H/T to the six people who sent this to me this morning

17 Comments

  1. Quick, ask me if I care! Short answer—-NOPE!

  2. Rachel Recklesss

    January 8, 2013 at 10:07 am

    I banged Ryan Lochte.

  3. Why does anyone in Philadelphia care about this?

  4. Seriously. The six people who sent this to you are the only ones who care about Lochte, Kyle.
    You said yesterday you’d have a post about the Flyers roster yesterday. Still waiting for that, instead I get this.
    IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH BABIES, KYLE.

  5. jeah? theres a wwe wrestler whose been saying that for the better part of a decade…and hes black he gets away with it

  6. Ryan Lochte has nothing to do with Philadelphia or Philadelphia Sports. Get off his jock
    -Disgruntled Former Florida Swimmer

  7. Nobody cares? 300,000 views on this article in one hour. Funny how I post something and the whole city is talking about it yet 2 or 3 of you claim nobody cares.

  8. ^not actually Kyle. Don’t feed the trolls.

  9. Chloe Lardashian

    January 8, 2013 at 10:51 am

    What is your wierd obsession with Ryan Lochte

  10. John Bolaris Pooped His Pants

    January 8, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    There is no shot in hell that Kyle hasn’t jerked off to Ryan Lochte at least once. This story is about 9,999 on the list of 10,000 things that I care about. Get a grip Kyle. What you please yourself to is your business.

  11. I’m a Villanova grad. GO CATS RAARWW RARWW RARWWWLLLL :)

  12. What if the fake Kyle Scott is actually the real Kyle Scott who used a different email address in order to say ridiculous things portraying himself as Kyle Scott, thus making everyone think the fake Kyle Scott isn’t actually Kyle Scott. Whew, I hurt my own brain with that.

  13. You redeemed yourself, Fake Kyle Scott.

  14. How many real Kyle Scott’s are there?

  15. Will the real Kyle Scott please stand up?

  16. You guys are all idiots

  17. You can dance if u want too. U can leave..

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