Andrew Bynum is Officially the Biggest Asshole to Ever “Play” in Philadelphia

Screen Shot 2013-03-01 at 1.22.31 PMPic via Jordan Raanan

And thus concludes the Andrew Bynum era in Philadelphia. It’s been fun.

Inquirer beat reporter John Mitchell tweeted:

Screen Shot 2013-03-01 at 1.34.50 PM

And after dribbling a bit today (not even sure we can call what Bynum does practice), Bynum met with the media and admitted that it might be too late:


Screen Shot 2013-03-01 at 1.38.36 PM
Screen Shot 2013-03-01 at 1.38.36 PM

It's my life– that's what teenage girls tell their fathers when they opt for a life on the pole.

At what point are the Sixers just going to take Bynum outback and shoot him (figuratively, I think)? There’s literally no benefit to having him play this year, because one of only four things could happen: A) he plays well enough for the Sixers to foolishly give him a max contract, B) he helps get the Sixers into the playoffs and costs them a high draft pick, C) fans are so irate that he gets pelted with batteries, or D), the doomsday scenario, all of the above

Like, the Sixers are exactly stupid enough to sign a guy long-term based on his play in 12 games. They are exactly stupid enough to try to salvage a playoff spot to make a quick buck from the gate. And they are exactly stupid enough to do a battery giveaway on the night of Bynum’s return. 

Just end it. End it now.

26 Comments

  1. Grow a pair of balls Bynum. FUCKING PUSSY

  2. Matt Read's Ribs

    March 1, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    A complete mush! Matt Read is already taking shots with injured ribs!

  3. This is why we can’t have nice things

  4. Yeah, or the guy is looking out for the fact that he has to carry a massive amnount of weight around on bad knees for the rest of his life and isn’t interested in making it worse on himself. He is right, he is only 25 and he has a long time to live on bad knees.
    It’s like calling a football player who hangs it up early after concussions a pussy.

  5. this is also the same guy that delayed knee surgery on a Lakers team set for a championship run in the off season because…..
    ….he wanted to travel overseas to watch the world cup
    dude doesn’t have his priorities straight. Oh well, good for him I guess?

  6. he wasnt a free agent, they did however trade away the guy everyone wanted out of the city to get him. But now everyone says it’s a bad deal…
    and I agree with truth, I assume everyone here would ruin their knees, and put their multi million dollar career on the line to play 20 games with a team 12 games under 500… for fans that have done nothing but bash him since the season started.

  7. Christina Lurie's Left Tit

    March 1, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    Antonio Williams gets the award for most obscure (and, therefore, awesome) reference ever.
    I’d bare myself to you, if this wasn’t a PG-13 site.

  8. Bynums Nut Fro

    March 1, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Hard to be mad at Bynum (other than his update a few weeks ago where he was 100% sure he would play this year). This one is firmly on the Sixers brass. They knew full well that this was a real possibility from day one yet they paraded Bynum around like the damn savior of this franchise. It is the front office that should take the brunt of the fan frustration. Good ole Adam Aron has some serious work ahead of himself if he has any intention of winning back this fanbase.

  9. Last dude to steal this much from the SIXERS was named Matt Geiger

  10. the truth-You’re a jackass. The dude got paid 17 million this year to pick his nose. You’re analogy about a football player w concussions is absurd. This guy is a pig, plain n simple.

  11. Did you honestly start a sentence, let alone a paragraph, with the word “like”? Just end it. End it now.

  12. ThePhillyFlash

    March 1, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    Biggest asshole ever to play in Philadelphia? Has everyone already forgotten Adam Eaton? The dickhead who stunk like week old diapers for the first half of the 2008 season with the Phillies while stealing $8 million bucks, was left off the postseason roster, then had the balls to come and collect his World Series ring, despite having pitched ZERO innings in the Fall Classic? That, my friends, is a tough act to beat.

  13. afrojack's porche

    March 1, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    Honestly…. I’d do the same thing. Not play and still get paid millions of dollars. Who wouldn’t!!!
    Its not like the sixers would compete for a championship anyway.

  14. Marley, I don’t give a fuck how much he got paid. I’d look out for my long term health over playing for this team any day of the week as well. It’d be a lot more important to be able to walk at 40 than play a few games for a terrible basketball team in front of 42 fans
    Now, go kindly choke on a dick

  15. ThePhillyFlash

    March 1, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    afrojack: Then what happens next year when no team gives Bynum so much as the time of day because they trust neither his health or his attitude? And, as has already been shown time after time, players can blow through millions in a New York minute. Bynum’s screwing up his own future, not that I care.
    The Truth: If Bynum’s smart (though I doubt he is), he should set aside some of that money he stole from the Sixers to get his knees replaced. At least when he’s out of the league because no team, terrible, great or inbetween wants him, he can still walk, and, more importantly, make an ass out of himself while bowling.

  16. @Patrick
    Maybe so, but good thing Geiger didn’t waive his no-trade clause which kept Iverson here for that historic 2001 Finals run, which is like the only thing us Sixer fans can hold on to lol

  17. Future Penn Grad Swag

    March 1, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    If you want to hang someone by the balls in this scenario: It’s Rod Thorn. He took a team that was on its way, got rid of everything that made them great, lame ducked the Sixers, sabotaged them by getting them Kapono 2.0 in Brick Young, and made them wait until October to find a replacement for him.

  18. Future Penn Grad Swag = Future unemployed nerd. Let’s date.

  19. Kyle the title should be changed to Andrew Bynum is Officially the Biggest Asshole to NEVER “Play” in Philadelphia!

  20. @JG – Not funny/your’e a tool, let’s date.

  21. kyle, please hang up the keyboard, bro. Your thoughts are so narrow minded. What if you tore cartilage in your index finger? Would you risk it all and continue blogging or would you sit out and rest it up?

  22. Kyle already blogs with torn ligaments in his fingers from finger blasting his asshole 3 times a day

  23. Eh, as people have said, you can’t really blame him for being cautious. A bum knee doesn’t just ruin his career, it’ll impact the rest of his life. In his defense, knee injuries are really unpredicable and there’s really no good way to facilitate recovery. I seem to remember a certain second baseman who’s knees were (still are maybe) just as unpredicable last year. Utleys timetable for return was as nonexistent/schizophrenic as bynums. Yet everyone seemed to be fine with him taking his sweet ass time and returning by the time the Phil’s season was all but done. I don’t think it’s fair to swoon over him taking ground balls on a stool yet lambast Bynum for dribbling/shooting when it’s obvious that he’s nowhere near ready.
    This is 98 percent on management. They knew from day 1 that he was damaged goods, and instead of letting him pass they placated a rabid fan base and shipped away this teams best shot at being successful. I’m nt saying that Iggy shoulda stayed, but they shouldn’t have dumped him for someone who was obviously a mess. And on top of that, they acted like nothing was wrong. They billed this as the next step and hyped up this team big time when they knew this was gonna happen. They treated the fans and the media like idiots and it back fired. Now that’s not to say we shouldn’t be mad at Bynum at all. He certainly played into the hype machine by constantly saying that he’s almost there. And even if he hasn’t been being lazy and is genuinely concerned with his well being, he still acts like he doesn’t care by basically saying “the fans can fuck off, I’m doing this on my own time.” if he had came out and said, “I’m as upset about this as you guys and I’m doing my best,” fans wouldn’t be as rabid over him. It also doesn’t help that idiots like Kyle never gave this a chance from the beginning and just fueled the anti-Bynum fires with goofy posts that ultimately said,” LOOK AT HIM PUMPING GAS IN HIS FERRARI, HE’s CRAZY.” Hes the biggest asshole to never play with the sixers Kyle? Well you’re the biggest asshole who never actually worked as a credible member of the media.
    Well never quite know the full extent of Bynums part in this failure, but it’s a little silly to be aiming the cannon at him when it 100 percent deserves to be pointed at management.

  24. John stockton

    March 1, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    Sean Bradley was an asshole. Eating McDonald’s and clearly not giving a fuck.
    Bynum socializing when theres nothing he can do about his knee isn’t even close to being an asshole.
    You’re a dogmatic asshole Kyle.

  25. Bynum assaults women that are married to coaches maybe what loser he should not live

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