Screen Shot 2013-10-30 at 10.38.19 AMI estimate that about 8% of people in Happy Valley won’t realize this is satire and will just nod their heads in agreement. Damn Buckeyes, casting a dark, black cloud over our beloved institution.

The rest of you will laugh.

The Onion:

Following a humiliating 63-14 defeat against Ohio State over the weekend, officials at Pennsylvania State University on Tuesday called the blowout loss a blemish on the school’s storied football program, and the college’s biggest disgrace in recent memory. “Frankly, it’s unacceptable to have the Nittany Lions associated with something loathsome like this,” head coach Bill O’Brien told reporters, claiming that his team’s one-sided loss—its worst in nearly 114 years—does not align with the school’s values, and represents a black eye from which it may never recover.

O’Brien would go on to say that he didn’t meet with his team to go over the loss until Monday. Why disrupt their weekend?, he asked rhetorically.