Here's a picture of Chase to brighten your day (via WIP)

Here’s a picture of Chase to brighten your day (via WIP)

GOOOOOOOOD MORNNNNNNNNNNING, PHILADELPHIA. The Flyers shit the bed this weekend, the Eagles weren’t playing, and a fat man is terrorizing women with his cheese-laden genitals. It’s always sunny here.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

Naked girls. Our friends from Girls Of Philly are back, because you just can’t stop staring. They’ve added all new, local, nude, girls to their catalog. Recognize someone? Probably. Have a look. Link is mostly suitable for work, but after that, you’re on your own.

Dawk. Meet Brian Dawkins at Sports Vault. Details and tickets here.

Fight. We’re From Philadelphia And We Fight t-shirts. They’re in-stock and ready to ship. Get one.

More. Already have our entire catalog? Then be sure to shop with Philly Phaithful.

Tickets. There are currently some insanely good Sixers deals on Crossing Broad Tickets.

 

The roundup:

DeSean Jackson is offering a $50k reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the people who robbed him. I actually feel bad for DeSean. Not sure who keeps $250k in cash and jewelry in their house… but that doesn’t excuse what happened. I don’t care how rich you are, that’s a lot.

Victor Fiorillo of Philly Mag confronted the alleged Swiss Cheese Pervert this weekend. He showed up at the home of Norristown’s Chris Pagano, who answered the door, of course, sans shirt. Pagano denied that he was SCP, though there are now several bits of evidence linking him to driving around without his pants on and holding swiss cheese over his dick. There is, say, this photo:

And then there’s the fact that our tipster, who sent us a Match.com message that appears to have been sent by SCP in 2011, says the man who contacted [them] was named Chris.

And then there’s the OkCupid profile pic, which matches the picture in the Facebook account that Fiorello identified as belonging to Pagano. I would say… cops will be stopping by Pagano’s home shortly.

A fetish expert weighs in on SCP.

Chase Utley was a guest on the WIP Morning Show today. He expressed shock at how much the Phillies’ TV deal is worth. When Angelo told him it came out to $100 million per year for 25 years, Utley said: “WOW. That’s a lot of money.” About as much emotion as you get from Chase. But here’s something to add to your Utley man boner– him talking about why he loves Philly and how, at a certain point, enough money is enough [sorry about the screwed up timing and my coffee sipping]:

Audio via WIP

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Here’s the link to the full audio.

Nick Foles is going to the Pro Bowl.

The 60 Minutes interview with Anthony Bosch tearing apart Alex Rodriguez.

Things just keep getting worse for Chris Christie. Which is a shame, because I was looking forward to him telling Kim Jong Un to go fuck himself when he became President.

David Montgomery is using his go-to man, Matt Gelb, to relay that the Phillies’ TV deal is better than people think. Still think they could’ve gotten more two years ago.

Love this guy getting bent out of shape about Colin Kaepernick’s backwards hat.

James Franklin only hires assistants with hot wives.

Best pastor ever.

Podcasts

Listen to Episode 11 of Crossing Streams, where we discuss Wheels’ departure and talk with a sports TV expert. Want to save it for later? Subscribe with iTunes. We’re in the top 20 in iTunes’ New and Noteworthy (!!!).

The first three episodes of Cord Snipped are live. Dan Fuller and I discuss Netflix, cord-cutting, Hulu, Apple TV, Roku, and all that stuff. It’s different than CB, and not as snarky, but if you enjoy binge-watching, tech, or hate your cable company, you’ll love it. Posted on Friday and it’s already in the top 60 of iTunes’ New and Noteworthy. Listen here or subscribe with iTunes.