I Totally Called the Meth Lab in Horsham!

Voila_Capture 2014-04-04_06-27-41_PM

This is why I’m the best blogger in the city. I mean, I hate to gloat, but I absolutely called the meth lab in Horsham the other night. There’s just no other way to put it.

On Tuesday night, Ms. CB and I had a meeting with the pastor who will marry us. The meeting went from about 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. On the way home we were hungry. We decided to get takeout from Tonelli’s, a local pizza pub here in Horsham. Real good stuff. Our food wasn’t ready when we got to the window (they have a window!), so we were instructed to pull forward into a spot and wait as they would bring us out our food. We waited for about 10 minutes, facing westward on 611. We talked about marriage, keeping my ego in check, the SNL baby skit from last week and, prophetically, the Days Inn across the street, which we’ve lived near for almost two years.

Convo, starting with me:

Who stays at that Days Inn?

What? What do you mean who stays there? People traveling. Business people, I guess.

I mean, sure, there’s the business park around the corner, but besides that, who comes to the Days Inn in Horsham? 

Maybe people from the military base used to stay there.

I’m sure if they were in the military, they stayed on base.

Oh.

We should stay there one night. Have a little getaway. Bow-chick…

No.

Seriously though, it’s a shady place. Like I bet you bad stuff happens there. Prostitution. Gotta be drugs. I bet you people sell drugs there.

Stop. I’m sure people don’t…

No for real. Who comes to the Days Inn on 611 in Horsham? It’s a drug hotel. I’m telling you, bad stuff happens there. Look at that guy walking in and pushing the cart with a weird limp. It’s shady. 

Is our food here yet?

No joke– that was pretty much our conversation. I remember it, vividly.

Fast forward less than 72 hours… and basically Jesse Pinkman is on the loose. From Montgomery Media:

Police and K-9 units were still searching the area around the Days Inn Hotel in Horsham around 4 p.m. today, April 4, after responding to a report of a meth lab allegedly discovered in a room at the hotel. Horsham police had gone to the hotel to serve a warrant on a man, identified by police as Gary Long, who was staying in the room with the suspected meth lab at the hotel and managed to escape, police said.

The meth lab was allegedly discovered at a Days Inn Hotel in Horsham around 2 p.m. April 4, according to a Breaking News Network alert.

Horsham Lt. Jon Clark said at the scene police were at the hotel at 245 Easton Road to serve a Bucks County warrant he believed was for a theft charge on Long. They thought they would just go in, get him and bring him out, Clark said, but when officers went to serve the warrant, Long, who was staying in room 333 since approximately Monday, slid a window open and jumped from a third-floor window onto a mulch pile as a detective entered the room, he said. The man believed to be Long then ran off and was now the subject of a manhunt, he said.

Nailed it.

Just for proof, I recorded my conversation with Ms. CB when she came home from work today, because I’m that type of guy:

This is why you read, folks. This is why you read. Come for the instincts, stay for the gang breakdowns.

41 Comments

  1. This is garbage

    April 4, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    You’re a fuckin faggot, dude.

  2. Desean Jackson

    April 4, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    this is fuccing worse than my interview with stephen a…get ur shit together scott

  3. Thanks captain fuking obvious

    April 4, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Illegal shit happens at all motels off the beaten path. Fucking idiot

  4. As a side not, my dad and brother who don’t live in PA stayed at this hotel when there was a hockey tournament in Warwick.. In fact the whole hotel was full of kids that weekend.

  5. You mentioned people probably use drugs in a days inn hotel, and to you that means you called there being a meth lab going on in it…get over yourself man..that’s like saying “I bet some homeless guy is taking a sink shower in the bathroom of that septa station” then hearing about a guy drowning in the sink.

  6. You’re fucking horrible, and a huge dork.

  7. LAST WEEK I CALLED THAT KYLE WAS GONNA ‘CALL’ SOMETHING STUPIDLY OBVIOUS AND ACT THE DOUCHE IN THE PROCESS! “LOOK AT ME, I WANNA BE THIS TOWN’S TMZ DOUCHE SO BAAAAD!!”.

    Lookey my way, if someone suffers any type of misfortune or exposes their girlfriend’s photo in a tweet, Kyle will be the first one to capitalize on it!

    And guess what folks? I’m calling it AGAIN FOR NEXT WEEK! BOOOYA!!!!

  8. Tonelli's blows

    April 4, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Tonellis is awful dude, food has seriously gone down hill… “Finest in the universe” my ass. Owners a huge creep too… Coming from a lifelong Horsham resident. I think a Horsham cop got busted at that days inn a few years back with prostitutes so you’re right on that account. Graeme park pizza is where it’s at.

    • Guido DeMarichetti from The Old Country

      April 5, 2014 at 7:51 am

      Agreed. Tonelli’s sucks. Completely sucks. God-awful service, too. Went there twice, two bad experiences (the second time they lost my order), and will never return.

      As for that Days Inn, yeah, it’s scary. All Days Inns are.

      And don’t record conversations with your GF. It never works in your favor.

  9. GrammaticalError

    April 4, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    Jesus Christ man, take a basic composition course before publishing this garbage. You call yourself an editor? There isn’t even enough room in this comment box for all the mistakes I want to point out. Don’t quit your day job, kid….because you aren’t going to be making any breaks with whatever this horrid excuse for an article was supposed to be about.

    • contextual error

      April 6, 2014 at 3:55 am

      Isn’t his day job writing articles? I’m at a party school and I can write a comment better than you.

      #hashtag

  10. Seriously, all motels along highways and the boulevard are suspect. It’s not rocket science. Most Days Inns are dumperinos

  11. all you do is gloat kyle. post terrible “articles” and gloat.

  12. I hate Horsham. Fuck 611 and all its traffic and red lights.

  13. “I bet people sell drugs in there.” Arent you like, close to 30 years old? And you act like youre a genius because you can predict that people do drugs in seedy places? You sound like a naive 16 year old douche from the mainline who takes septa into the city one time and then comes back acting all tough. “DOOD I saw a bum…and he was HIGH! NOT LYIN DOOD, I SAW THAT SHIT BRO.”

    • Taking a break from Call of Duty on a Friday night?

      • Kyle is a douchebag

        April 4, 2014 at 10:57 pm

        Even if he is, he fucking nailed exactly what Kyle sounds like with this post.

        I see you posted at a quarter to ten on a Friday night. Taking a break from youjizz.com no doubt?

  14. I’m in the minority of finding this post hilarious.

  15. Kyle is such a pussy

    April 4, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    Still can’t stop laughing at Kyle’s comment above regarding “keeping his ego in check” which I guess has something to do with his perceived success of this shit website. I’m sure he knows the owner at Tonelli’s too and he was shamelessly plugging that hellhole…you suck so bad Kyle. And I’m officially no longer a visitor with all your annoying ass survey questions. Kisses you blowhole.

  16. Wow. Can’t help but laugh at all the asshats, under stupid names, that do nothing but bash Kyle- he’s a loser, blah blah. Yet here ya’ll are, on a Friday night, reading his blog and posting about it. Irony much?

    • You have no idea what the word “irony” means. And Kyle is a total douche, and these commenters are by far the only entertaining thing on this site.

  17. I’m a fan of the site, and all the CB has to offer. But…this is a little bit on the douchey side. A recorded conversation? We get it, you called it. Just like every night every fuckhead tweets that they called a Ryan Howard home run. “I called it, I called it, swear to God! Ask ______!”

    Here’s a little hint. NO ONE GIVES A FUCK. FUCK HATBORO HORSHAM.

  18. Kyle is a douchebag

    April 4, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    Dude, where the fuck did you grow up at? Fucking Lancaster?

    Road side motels where there are no major attractions nearby are all know for drug labs and prostitution. Your “call” is like me “calling” the sun rise tomorrow.

    I want to bump into you in the street someday, because you are the most naive person ever. And your fiancé should go find some real pole to squat over, not some faggot blogger who gets all excited about being in a parking lot weeks before an illegal act went down

  19. Poo tang smasher

    April 4, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    Look it’s north Philly bet people sell and do drugs there I got esp I’m so smart

  20. Marvin Monroe

    April 5, 2014 at 1:52 am

    “This is why I’m the best blogger in the city.”

    Which city? Penisinthemouthville?

  21. Wow…well these comments sure took a hard left and escalated quickly…

  22. This post wasn’t Kyle’s best but christ almighty, you guys need to get laid!

  23. I used to work in that hotel and, other than this incident, you could not be more wrong. This is Horsham for chrissakes. If it was a drug hotel the powers that be in an upper-class white community would shut it down so fast meth tweakers couldn’t even catch up. Use your head.

  24. Pretty sure 95% of your readers are here for the comments.

  25. In my experience any hotel/motel in the Philly area can and is used to smoke crack/shoot dope/hump on prostitutes.

  26. Dr StinkyNuts

    April 5, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    since you knew the whole time, by not reporting it you are technically an accessory to the entire operation. how’s that make you feel?

  27. Mike from Warwick

    April 5, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    Wow! I was at Tonnelis Tuesday night too. Got my new I Pad Air at Best Buy and took advantage go their buy one get one Chicken Cheesesteak deal with my bro. Great food indeed.

  28. Phiillliiippp

    April 5, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    WHAT IS THIS IRRELEVANT PIECE OF SHIT AND WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE?!

  29. LOL! at Big red
    Horsham “upper class”
    The place is full of Bogans

  30. There is definately a great deal to find out about this topic.
    I like all of the points you’ve made.

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