Apparently Nick Foles Has the Biggest D*ck on the Eagles

Photo credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

And I now take back my complaint that Nick Foles wasn’t interesting to blog about.

Connor Barwin did a Reddit AMA today (Ask Me Anything, for our older readers). It was entertaining and filled with interesting anecdotes. As we’ve learned before, Barwin is sort of a renaissance man (or if you prefer– hipster), so it’s no surprise that his AMA contained candid answers. But, there were a few that stood out more than others.

Evan Mathis, who was with Barwin, asked the first question:

EvanMathis69 166 points 3 hours ago

Connor, big fan. You’re definitely in my top 5 for white guys on the Eagles defense.
My question: What is the fastest you’ve seen someone drink five beers? And what kind of legend would be able to do something like that?

[–]PhiladelphiaEagles[S] 110 points 2 hours ago

I saw Evan Mathis drink five beers in 1:42 last summer, and he has video proof. Annoy him until he posts.

 

Who’s the toughest guy on the team? We can only assume this was sarcastic, because Alex Henery sucks:

[–]SuPeRfLyKiD3 54 points 2 hours ago

Connor,
If a 53 man battle royal breaks out in the locker room, who’s the last man standing and why is it Alex Henery?

[–]PhiladelphiaEagles[S] 53 points 2 hours ago
Everybody knows it’s going to be Alex Fucking Henery. He’s a god among men.

 

On Richie Incognito ruining all the locker room fun:

[–]slumslum 54 points 3 hours ago

Hey Connor, thanks for stopping by and answering questions for us! The guys over at /r/eagles really appreciate it.
I have two questions.
In the article you wrote a few months ago about NFL Locker Room Culture. You briefly talked about a few systems (linebacker dinners) that were put into place to increase cohesion on the Eagles defense. Is there anything else you can share about the Eagles locker room? Any things the players or coaching staff implemented to help foster chemistry on defense or the team in general?
Would it be possible to set up a competitive scooter race between you and /u/EvanMathis69?
[–]PhiladelphiaEagles[S] 48 points 2 hours ago

Well, I can tell you we no longer can have any type of fine system, even for fun in our individual locker rooms, which I was sad to hear about because it was fun for team bonding since we never took it too far and we would use the money on team dinners and parties.
If I had the same tricycle that Evan has, I would clearly win since he’s 50 pounds heavier than me.

 

On Fletcher Cox’s… arm size:

[–]filladellfea 18 points 3 hours ago*
Connor, huge Eagles fan here – two questions:
1) Over in /r/NFL, the consensus is you have the best guns on the team – what do you think? Jason Peter’s pregame Instagram pictures of you/Trent Cole/etc., flexing are awesome.
2) Outside of Eagles/football – what do you think of Philly? I believe I saw you in Rittenhouse a couple weeks back – do you get out to other neighborhoods? Fishtown, East Passyunk, etc.?
Thanks for doing this AMA.

[–]PhiladelphiaEagles[S] 27 points 2 hours ago
We all just measured biceps last week as a team. Fletcher Cox is the biggest … around. But mine’s still the best, just not the biggest.
And yeah, I love Philly. I live near Rittenhouse so I’m there and in Graduate Hospital the most. I also go to Northern Liberties to see shows at Union Transfer and Johnny Brenda’s a lot.

 

And on Nick Foles’ MASSIVE DICK GOSH!

[–]jonnnnnnnnnn 13 points 3 hours ago
Lifelong Eagles fan here to the point of being able to rattle off strength and conditioning coaches, practice squad lineman, etc.
One factoid I’ll never have access to: Biggest weiner in the locker room? My sleeper picks are Alex ‘Moose Knuckle’ Henery and Nasty Nate Allen. Your astute clarification would be appreciated.

[–]PhiladelphiaEagles[S] 26 points 2 hours ago
Doesn’t the internet know it’s Nick Foles?
“I do not condone this reply.” — Evan Mathis

WE DO NOW, CONNOR!

You can read the full AMA here. But it doesn’t get any better than that last one.

Barwin is promoting this (sorry, I can’t form complete sentences – even more so than usual – after that Foles line):

Voila_Capture 2014-05-19_05-09-38_PM

37 Comments

  1. #elite

  2. Calling Bullshit

    May 19, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    We aren’t supposed to post anything about Traffic Girl, but this crap is OK???

    I might ban myself for a while.

  3. Violation Greg "The Hammer" Valentine

    May 19, 2014 at 5:28 pm

    Can post this stuff but nothing about that buck t.eth traffic chick

  4. I’d be willing to bet he was only joking anyway. A good way to bust the QB’s chops. Locker room decorum would prohibit him from seriously talking about the penis size of teammates anyway.

  5. Since this news broke K@@Cie has been doing jaw exercises in anticaption of Foles skullfucking her.

  6. Nick the Dick

    May 19, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Why is anyone surprised?

  7. Ivan The Terrible

    May 19, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Gee, that’s nice to know. You fag!

  8. Big Daddy Graham's Daughter Ava

    May 19, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    I thought I was going to read that Foles just bought a 42′ cigarette boat and had to expand the dock at his summer house.

  9. Fuck nick foles I hope he dies.

  10. Little Massimo

    May 19, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    I bet his winky isnt as big as my daddys. Daddy lets me play with his all the time and let me name it Joe Fraiser.

  11. Don Tollofson

    May 19, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Maybe kaci mcdonalds will rape kyle with her tooths?

  12. I heard Bernie from Broommall has a big dick

  13. The 100lbs Mole on Sue Serio's Ass

    May 19, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    Wonder who has the smallest Dick?
    I’m thinking no leg Alex Henery

  14. Nick Foles's cock

    May 19, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    oh man I can’t wait for K@cie to suck me. kyle is gonna be SO jealous.

  15. K to the c's butthole

    May 19, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    Will smell like nicks dong within week her hearing this news

  16. I wonder if that no talent tusk face traffic slut over at Fox is creaming her panties reading this article, the Georgia hick shes been banging somehow seems like an afterthought today.

  17. Did anyone ask them when you bust a massive load on the teeth of that worthless fucking pig of a human being whether she swallows it?

  18. Sarah Jessica Parker

    May 19, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    I love to make out with traffic girl!

  19. Can see the fox 29 traffic girl with the god awful boob job fingering herself to Nick tonight & coming up with a game plan to $teal him away from his gf.

  20. Josh Innes is a Penis

    May 19, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    Fatboy Josh Innes kissing the old crusty ass of one Howard Eskin is a disgrace to Philly sports talk radio.

    Thank goodness Missanelli ran Eskin off the afternoon drive.

  21. Mike Jerrick Sniffs K@cie's Seat

    May 19, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    I can see Michael Samm sneaking cell phone dick creep pics in the rams locker room.

  22. Jeffrey Lurie's Pet Nip Wife

    May 19, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    Heard joe banner had a huge cock

  23. PBR Is Definitely a Good Beer

    May 19, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    OMG Kurt Vile? Union Transfer? I just had a hipstergasm. I know you guys have never heard of him, but you have to make sure you listen to him on vinyl. It just doesn’t sound the same any other way.

  24. Love how hipsters pretend to like pabst blue ribbon

  25. Big dick nick

    May 19, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    I emailed you back in January that apparently he was known as big dick nick in the locker room at Arizona

  26. Total Coverup

    May 20, 2014 at 7:01 am

    We are the .0001%. We will Occupy.

    #truthers

  27. Ummm, I wish he would come over and prove it, if you know what i mean……

  28. wake up, kyle… it’s time to copy and paste something from a more reputable news source and add 11 words of comments. I know it’s hard to pry yourself out of bed when I’m here covered in whipped cream bu- [ALARM GOES OFF, BLARING, AT 10:30 AM]

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