Your Monday Morning Roundup

Photo credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

And I’m back. Married now, too. That day goes by too quickly. One second you’re doubled over with nerves in your hotel room bathroom at 6:40 a.m. and the next you’re back in the same hotel room sipping beers with your new wife and members of the wedding party wondering what the F just happened. It was so nice to see Uncle Tom. Cousin Suzy looked nice. Was that Aunt Linda or Marty’s cousin Andrea? It’s all a whirlwind, but everything went off without a hitch and, without getting too sappy, now-Mrs. CB looked stunning and you should be very jealous of me. And in case you’re wondering, yes, CB commenters did make it into the best man speech. Candy From The Oak and Abe Lincoln, to be specific. So… thanks for being a part of my big day.

I trust that you all treated Jim nicely and gave it much consideration before calling him a stupid hipster in the comments? Good, good. He did a nice job last week and made a lot out of the little that was going on. I’m back this week and then he’s running the show again next week while I sit on the beach in Mexico.

And to those of you who have been asking about the dog– she’s doing much better. Now. But there was a point last week where she took a turn for the worse. After I told you on Monday about her reaction to vaccines, on Tuesday and Wednesday her lower back and legs swelled up and looked like what could only be described as a deflated basketball. It turns out she had (has) a sort of immediate, treatable arthritis, likely as a result of the vaccines. An active and energetic three-year-old lab mix could barely get up off the floor, and she would take just a dozen or so steps outside before awkwardly plopping herself in the grass, grimacing the whole time. I thought she might not pull through, it was that bad. It eventually got infected, which caused the swelling to, um, pop in the vet’s office on Wednesday and then again early Thursday morning at 3:45 a.m., which meant we were chasing our dog around the house – from office to living room – as she squirted dog blood puss all over the house not more than 15 hours before our wedding rehearsal. It eventually eased up at around 6 a.m., when I caught a few hours of sleep on a couch that now needs to be replaced. The good (great) news is that all the bursting allowed the swelling to go down and Hayley to feel much better. Drugs are powerful. The next hurdle was convincing the pet resort, where she was scheduled to spend the weekend, to take her with the open, pussing wound. It all finally got sorted out at 3 p.m. on Thursday, three hours before the rehearsal, as we stood soaking wet in the lobby of said pet resort, begging the manager to make a tiny exception since we had no Plan B and everyone we knew who could watch her was going to be at the wedding. Thankfully, our vet went above and beyond, spoke to the manager and convinced her that Hayley was under his care and that the gaping wound on her back was normal and not contagious. We went and got married and, now, Hayley’s doing much better. HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?!

Let’s hit it!

But first, a word from our sponsors:

T-shirts. We’re From Philadelphia And We Fight. Now in green. Get one.

Golf. Thanks to the folks over at Ron Jaworski Golf for hosting the kickoff of my bachelor party this weekend. We played Blue Heron and I was positively awful. It didn’t help that Jaws was literally standing by the first tee box to watch me hit a dribbler. Anyway, great courses.

More. Already have all of our shirts? May I recommended checking out Philly Phaithful.

Perfect. Meet Roy Halladay and Jim Bunning at the Philly Sports Card & Memorabilia Show at the Valley Forge Casino Resort on Saturday, September 27. Details and tickets here.

Tickets. Crossing Broad Tickets probably has them.

The roundup:

Portugal’s terribly timely goal because Cristiano Ronaldo is absurdly good and also incredibly good-looking. The game drew a 9.1 overnight rating– the highest rated World Cup game on ESPN.

LeBron James will reportedly opt out and Carmelo Anthony will reportedly become a free agent. If only there was a team out there that had the cap room to sign two players to max contracts so Carmelo and LeBron could team up and be surrounded by talented youngsters.

Bob Cooney breaks down the four draft options for the Sixers.

Erin Andrews drinks from the Stanley Cup.

Jeff Carter won a gold medal, won a Stanley Cup and then got engaged:

New SportsCenter studio. New colors, same old talking head nonsense:

pic via (@LisaAStokes)

The Supreme Court is expected to rule on the legality of Aereo today and it could have a huge impact on cord cutting.

The Phillies’ recent “success” means Ruben Amaro will be tempted to do something stupid:

We will assume that he means young talent. As in, prospects. Not middle relievers and bench players. Please not middle relievers and bench players.

Can Michael Carter-Williams jump shot be fixed?

Behind the scenes of Alex Morgan’s 2014 SI Swimsuit shoot.

Cole Hamels discusses struggles, frustration and trade rumors.

Great White Shark off cost of Cape May. On the way to Cape Mayyyyyyy, I ATE A TASTY SURFER!!!! [Sorry]

CBGA Tour 

Round 3 kicks off today through July 13 at Pennsauken Country Club.