The Onion Knows How You Feel About Sam Hinkie

Over the weekend, The Onion broke out the most “barely competent cartoon snowman” looking picture of Sam Hinkie to show that they get your frustrations. For example:

“‘The Sixers are more than $30 million under the cap, which means they can theoretically make a number of moves that leave their fans humiliated and utterly hopeless, all without having to pay any luxury tax,’ said ESPN NBA analyst Marc Jackson, adding that Philadelphia has enough salary to offer inflated long-term contracts to multiple incredibly over-hyped free agents, effectively torpedoing the team’s playoff hopes for the next decade. ‘They have plenty of options at this point. Do they pay way too much for a declining, 32-year-old Carlos Boozer? Or do they opt to just throw away future draft picks in order to build a team around the fatally flawed core of Amar’e Stoudemire, Derrick Williams, and Joel Embiid? With this much money available, there are just so many ways they can perpetually infuriate every single basketball fan in Philadelphia for the foreseeable future.'”

Good one, The Onion, but don’t you know that Hinkie will most likely use none of that money at all? Oh, you do:

“Jackson went on to say the most likely scenario would be the 76ers simply refusing to spend any money at all and forcing their fans to watch the current roster play another full season.”

Yeah, you get it.