Jackass Howard Eskin Says Jackass Thing about Phillies

The first step to quit being an asshole is to admit that you’re an asshole. I should know. I, myself, am an asshole, especially when it comes to discussing the Phillies.

Hello. My name is Kyle, and I’m an asshole. It’s been three hours and 12 minutes since my last asshole.

See how easy that is? Now it’s Howard’s turn:

Screen Shot 2014-08-22 at 2.40.47 PM

No, no, no! You’re being an asshole, Howard! Look, I’m all for criticizing the Phillies for every dumb thing they do. In fact, in the absence of competitive professional baseball, it’s become a favorite pastime of mine. In the evenings, I eat dinner, have a beer, and then yell at no one in particular about dumb things the Phillies do. But even I can’t get on Ruben Amaro and the Phillies for not drastically overpaying for an unknown, mediocre talent. It was absolutely the right decision, if in fact they even had a say in it. The only argument to be made for overpaying for Rusney Castillo is if you’re a terrible team that just retooled its roster so you could be competitive again almost immediately and you’re paying Castillo a premium because he will help you get back on top… which the Red Sox have done over the past month… which is something the Phillies should’ve done two years ago when their players still had value. Dumb Phillies! They screwed up again.

Hello. My name is Kyle, and I’m an asshole…

24 Comments

  1. So wait, Kyle. Let me get this straight. He’s a mediocre prospect because you read that in a few articles? Just like Jose Abreu was a mediocre prospect? I love how you are able to scout from your home office!

  2. The beginning doesnt sound quite right….its been 3 hours and 12 minutes since your last asshole?

  3. Could it be that the player is really good and the Red Sox, or competing teams, started putting out “scouting reports” to the media to lower the asking price and perceived value?? Listen, Eskin is the last guy I would take advice from, but you know nothing about this guy.

  4. Kyle, why do you insist on continuing to call Castillo a “mediocre talent?” Clearly, the guy is a talented ballplayer. I think scouts are unsure of what he can do because he added the power – which hadn’t been displayed before – during his workouts. But the speed and contact hitting has always been there.

    Wouldn’t you rather lose with Rusney Castillo? We’re bad – very bad, but we know what we have with Ruf, Brown, Revere, Sizemore and Byrd. Wouldn’t you rather take a chance (maybe not exactly for 72M, but close to it) on a highly touted, at-worst everyday player with a great arm, good defense and lots of speed?

    What are you going to say when the Phils will inevitably be after Yasmani Tomas? He’ll certainly sign for more.

    • No, I would not rather take a chance on paying some janitor who turned into young Bobby Abreu after three months with American pharmaceuticals $72 million dollars for 7 years on my baseball team that needs to be completely dismantled and rebuilt from the ground up.

      The only plus to this obvious disaster-in-progress is that he’ll never be caught with steroids, since he’s already rich enough to purchase 8% of Cuba, has no real chance at another contract. He can just go on siesta.

  5. This is just another good example of why I’d like to punch Eskin square in his shriveled little sack.

    So the Phillies should give more 7 year deals out Eskin, You fucking idiot? He’s twenty fucking seven already you dunce!

  6. Howard Eskin's Balloon Knot

    August 22, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    HI – I’m Howards asshole and quite frankly I consider it an insult to have him called my name. Take it somewhere else please, I deserve better. I put up with is S..t every stinky day.

  7. Ken Giles the G is 4 Greatness

    August 22, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    Kyle you’re a okay in my book.

    Any blogger that rips mr know it all Eskin,should be commended for exposing him for being the smug assclown we all know that he is.

    Sending another man’s wife flowers is enough to get Eskin tarred and feathered in Iran so I suggest we do the same here.

  8. I have little love for Ruin Tomorrow who’s wrecked the Phillies, but he made the right move in walking away from Castillo. After the debacle with MAG, the last thing Amaro needed to do was flush $72 million down the toilet on some unknown who’s in his late twenties. As for Eskin, getting worked up over that moron isn’t worth my time.

  9. These guys get the best food in cuba for years – probably way healthier than the factory garbage we get here. But all of a sudden, he spends a few months with American “trainers” and he gets all this new power? Right. That steroid/HGH pumpup never lasts – why do you think MAG lost 8 mph off his fastball right after his tryouts? Sox without Theo Epstein are just desperate.

  10. Mr. 6 figure salary,

    Are you always attacking eskin because your jealous that people know who he is and he makes more than you will ever reporting sports. Don’t get me wrong eskin is a total jackass, but your always attacking him like your somebody special.

    If copying and pasting was never invented this site would exist.

  11. Kyle, listen junior stay off the computer and stick to watching Oprah . You have no clue what you are talking about.

    The stats that Rusney Castillo produced in the Cuban League were eye-popping, Keep in mind this is the same league that has recently produced Cespedes,Puig, Abreu which happen to be among the 3 best offensive players in mlb.

    Not saying Castillo will be as good as them but we don’t know that he wont be. Jacoby Ellsbury just signed a 7 yr./$153 M deal last offseason. Hes a .275 hitter with 10 HR and 45 rbi.

    The Phillies have no legitimate mlb CF on their roster,in their system and there are absolutely none are available via free agency. Until the Phillies fix that putrid outfield they are going to remain a bottom feeder. Nitwit.

  12. Jim get canned already?

  13. UltimateInsider

    August 23, 2014 at 12:57 am

    First accurate report Kyle has ever written but no news flash. Yeah, you’re an asshole. Use all your writing talent. Make it vivid. You’re actually a “flaming asshole with no accomplishments.” Eskin laughs at you.

  14. Eskin still being around is absurb. He is a total embarassment to CBS Radio. He gets a married woman killed sending her flowers thinking she is a cheerleader. He gets his company sued and they have to fork out over $1.0 million dollars for libeling an attorney on the Allen Iverson midnight ride for justice. And I could go on. He is on the Phillies because they will not give him access. A total joke. CBS keeps him around because he is still a shill for advertisers like the Lexus dealer in nowhereville.

  15. Phillies announcers

    August 23, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Mike Schmidt is ponderous, man. He is fucking ponderous.

    Sit down for McCarthy.

  16. The Phils could’ve had Jose Abreu, too, but insisted he play third base. Talk about dumb…

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