Work for this man. Yay.

Work for this man. Yay.

There are a whole bunch of job opportunities with the Sixers listed on Team Work Online. Here are a few that stand out:

PR Coordinator

A sort of dream job for many sports fans. Two years of experience in marketing or PR and a Communications degree will get you a job* trying to score positive press for the Sixers. Your top two responsibilities will be:

Compile and track the placement of story pitches in the market, as well as track and produce quantifiable ROI at end of year for media placed by Public Relations department.

Translation: Plant favorable stories with the lazier members of the local press. Shouldn’t be hard.

Develop, establish and maintain relationships with non-sports and non-traditional media members in the city, state and region, including business writers, entertainment reporters, radio personalities, etc.

Translation: Mr. Harris likes talking to business reporters, he owns entertainment properties, and we need Missanelli on our side. [I find it baffling that that non-traditional media members thing doesn’t list bloggers.]

*First time the words “Communications degree will get you a job” have ever been written in that order. And it’s OK, I can make these jokes– I have a Communications degree… and work from home sans pants.

Listing here.

 

Basketball Analyst – Programming and Database Focus

This is the most Sam Hinkie thing ever.

Responsibilities include:

Gather, clean and integrate data from a variety of sources
Create both standardized reports and ad-hoc analyses
Maintain and extend our existing analytics infrastructure

Reqs:

Strong programming skills (Python, Perl, Ruby, C++, Java,….) to support both the front-end and back-end of applications
Strong database skills (SQL)
Comfort working in Mac, PC, and Linux environments
Strong statistical skills and experience with statistical software (R, SAS, Stata)
Visualization expertise
Big Data expertise including distributed processing
Data Mining expertise
Artificial Intelligence expertise
Machine Learning expertise
Mobile application expertise

Yeah I’m not qualified for that. But I’m pretty sure the AI thing just means playing NBA 2k15 to determine our most cohesive unit

Listing here.

 

Basketball Analyst – Statistical Modeling Focus

WHO LET HINKIE RUN WILD IN THE HR DEPARTMENT?

Responsibilities:

Advanced modeling and analysis based on data available in our data warehouse
Forecasting efforts for basketball plays, players, teams, and seasons
Support gathering of additional data for ad-hoc analysis as needed
Innovate across all aspects of basketball operations

Reqs:

Deep statistical expertise and experience with statistical software (R, SAS, Stata)
Strong experience with BAYESIAN ANALYSIS
Strong experience with experimental design, linear regression, logistic regression, non-linear regression, k-means clustering, decision trees, and other advanced techniques
Comfort working directly with databases and writing code or scripts on occasion
Data Mining expertise
Big Data expertise

Listing here.

 

With the Phillies, comparable front office titles to those Analyst positions are Keen Observer and Guy Who Updates Pitch Count on Scoreboard. They’re, um, a few years behind everyone else.

I should also point out that those last two listings for the Sixers request that you include your SAT, ACT, GRE, GMAT, etc. scores. No such request is made for the PR Coordinator position, because I’m guessing they’re just happy to know that you survived college without drinking your liver into a pile of indiscernible matter. But even if you didn’t, can you still schmooze reporters over a couple of cold ones every once in a while?

See all the Sixers job listings here.