Bird Droppings: They Say It's Good Luck

Photo credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Conditioning

Reuben Frank on the Eagles’ second-half conditioning:

Two games in, the Eagles have been outscored 34-6 in the first half and outscored their opponents 58-10 in the second half. I don’t think you can underestimate how much their fitness level is helping them late in games. They’re simply wearing teams down, and it’s paying off.

Ertz sex

He is the only player in the NFL with four catches of 25 yards or more… as of the first quarter last night. He has as many 20+ yard receptions as 20 teams in the league. McNabb thinks he’ll be a great:

Somewhere, Chad Lewis curses at Wife #6.

Bad fantasy

Sports Grid’s fantasy projection:

Sproles

via Sheil Kapadia

Here’s Sproles at about the five-yard line on his TD run. Those thick, powerful legs serve exactly this purpose– for powering through tough spots and staying upright here. No but for real, can we talk about his massive legs and ass? Not since Antonio Bastardo and his Centaur-like figure have we been introduced to a butt like this:

He’s built like Nicki Minaj. Turns out that sort of thing is good for an all-purpose NFL back. MY ANACONDA DON’T, MY ANACONDA DON’T.

USA Today on Sproles:

Some might call the 31-year-old’s first few weeks with the Eagles a renaissance. The truth is, Sproles has always had the ability, he was just wasted in New Orleans. With Drew Brees under center and Jimmy Graham and Marques Colston to throw to, there wasn’t much need for what Sproles offered as a receiver. Pierre Thomas and Mark Ingram dominated the carries, and Sproles was the odd man out.

But in Philadelphia, Sproles has lifted a burden off the shoulders of LeSean McCoy in the backfield, and filled a void left by DeSean Jackson’s departure to the Washington Redskins in the offseason. He’s made plays when asked, and carried the load when needed.

Imagine what the Eagles will look like when the rest of the team catches up.

Sheil Kapida noted a switch in mindset from Chip Kelly:

THAT’S WHAT HE SAID

“First and foremost, Darren is a receiver and I’ve said that since day one, since we’ve had him here.” – CHIP KELLY

Kelly decided to have a little fun at the podium. All offseason, he’s been adamant that Sproles is a running back. He’s questioned why Sporles didn’t receive more carries at his previous stops and often bristled when reporters suggested Sproles would be more of a factor in the passing game this season.

But on Monday night, Kelly unleashed Sproles as a receiver, and he averaged 21.7 yards per reception.

And Jason Kelce telling you who the real hero was on those Sproles screens. Hint: it was Darren Sproles:

“think he made more out of that run than there actually was there. I think that he made a guy miss that was unblocked. Then he was able to make a few more guys miss and scramble into the end zone, so it was an outstanding run by him. I don’t know that the offensive line had much to do with that one.”

PAPELBONING!

Love Parkey

pic via Fletcher Cox

I can absolutely see him going all Rube Baker and memorizing Playboy articles before games. Hey Fletcher, I’m on the rooster!

Social media

Love how the Eagles just get it and released this (interactive!) Tweets-per-minute chart. It’s in GMT, so don’t be fooled. Of course, they had to call out Christina Lurie’s Tweet, which I’m surprised didn’t read: Midnight Green 4 EVA!

Literally down to the 0 sec mark! Here's to 2 and 0. #FlyEaglesFly

— Christina Weiss Lurie (@christinawlurie) September 16, 2014

Chelsea Clinton

I know supermodels and such are generally ugly as kids, but has there ever been an uglier child who grew up to be more passably attractive than Chelsea Clinton?

Great dig

Luck face?

via (@DABIGDOG72)

SEEEEEEEEEEEEEHUT. Offsides.

Fondle ’em on 2!

via (@xmasape)

Would love to know what this signal indicates.

EXSPROLSION™

Gonna charge Matty Cord royalties for this:

Kidding. It takes a village… for a cheesy nickname to catch on. We stand together, Matt.

Puns

This made me laugh.

LOAD 13 BREES

pic via (@DABIGDOG72)

And the small kitten lapped up his bowl of SMOOTHIE before SPRINTING to his ball of HASH and LOAD 13 BREES ROGER 6 LEFT TESTICLE FIRE. He slept well that night, warmly embracing his NAVY-GRADE ELECTRONIC SLEEP MONITOR. Meow.

Goatee

Through the roof. It’s like over-45 South Philly guys who have that Rocky-perm-mullet coiffure going on. Chuck Pagano is just playing to the crowd with this thing:

If he really wanted to win over the fan base, after games he’d hop into a Ford Truck (they capitalize the T in the middle states) and drive off to his impressively decent-paying job as a factory parts license inspector. But yeah, back to the goatee thing– this fan even built one into his cyborg costume: