Former Redskin Chris Cooley Thinks the Redskins D Should be Nicknamed the "Pounding Fathers," Fails to Put Two and Two Together

Chris Cooley, a former Redskin (strike one) and current sports radio host (strike two) who recently got out-debated by Bob Costas on the name of his former employer (aaaaand you’re out), tried to crowdsource a nickname for the Redskins’ defense today. It did not go well.

Cooley originally tweeted “If @redskins stay in first place after philly they need a nickname. Need some ideas of bad ass defense nicknames! Any help would be great.” First off, Chris, no. Staying in first place is not an option. Secondly, Cooley got lots of help, ranging from mediocre (“The Red Death”) to the downright stupid (“Capital Scalpers”). But he was taken by one suggestion, which combined Washington D.C.’s status as the nation’s capital with the NFL’s current issue du jour of child abuse.

Around a week after Adrian Peterson was indicted for child abuse, and the day after Jonathan Dwyer was arrested for head-butting his wife and throwing a shoe at his one-year-old and Reggie Bush said he will “obviously not leave bruises or anything like that” on his own one-year-old, Chris Cooley fell in love with the nickname “The Pounding Fathers.” The. Pounding. Fathers. Just take a second to think about how dumb and/or clueless and/or dickish Cooley is being here. Okay? Have you thought about it? Because all of these people have. Also, it just sounds gross Chris. It sounds super gross.