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Don Tollefson, who’s acting as his own lawyer, offered his closing arguments today. He tried to appeal to jurors’ hearts… by straight-up admitting that he’s totally guilty.

These are actual quotes from Tollefson, as tweeted and recorded by reporters in attendance:

I’m to blame. I’m to blame because I didn’t see it coming.”

There’s a long list of Don Tollefson stupidity. Like the Dead Sea Scrolls. My heart shudders at what I did.”

“The assumption is that Don Tollefson took the money with criminal intent. My intent was to enable some of these kids to go do something that fed my soul.”

“I’m not going to stand here in front of you and tell you that 45 years of addiction to alcohol and opiates caused what happened to happen. I, Don Tollefson, caused what happened to happen.”

BRILLIANT!

Look, I’m not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, but I apparently took more law classes in college than Tollefson did, and if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that defendants typically want to avoid admitting guilt in their closing argument. That sort of emotional appeal for leniency should be saved for sentencing, which, I assume in Tollefson’s case, will be scheduled just as soon as the jurors can compose themselves long enough to write down their verdict.

UPDATE: Responding to commenter Dan, who says Tollefson is trying to deny intent, which is what matters in this case: I get that– but then you hide behind the drug and alcohol addiction, not claim that they had no impact. You don’t say “I’m to blame” when you’re trying to convince a jury that you’re, you know, not.