Temporary Eagles pitchman Ron Jaworski, who has become a surrogate for the Eagles the likes of which we’re used to seeing in politics, called in to the 97.5 morning show today to tell fans that, despite the raging dumpster inferno that was the Eagles coaching search, everything is just fine and, in fact, DOUG PEDERSON IS A GREAT HIRE.

Some reasons why, according to Jaws, who says he sat in on interviews and was so involved… that he didn’t attend the interview with the guy they wound up choosing [thanks to Jim on the transcribe]:

“I was a part of it since the day Chip Kelly was released. Howie Roseman reached out to me and asked if I would assist the Eagles in their coaching search. I said yes but I needed to speak to my folks up at ESPN … to see if there would be any conflict in helping the Eagles find a head coach and [they] said ‘Nope, go ahead’ …”

“Jeffrey Lurie, Dom Smolenski, Tom Donahoe, and Howie Roseman were totally prepared for this process. I’m telling ya, the minutiae to every detail was covered … All the information and data was very finite.”

“The interview process, with guys that I sat in with like Ben McAdoo and Adam Gase, eight to nine hour interviews. You name it, everything was asked of all the potential head coaches … I still remember Jeffrey Lurie’s statement in his office: ‘I’m not looking for a defensive coach, a special teams coach, or an offensive-minded coach. I want the best possible head coach for the Philadelphia Eagles. There was no number one target going in … the ultimate goal was to let the process play out and find the best coach …”

What… would… you… say… makes… him… a… great… coach?

“When you finally put together a balance sheet of assets and liabilities, I think it was clear that Doug was the guy. All the guys that we interviewed I was very, very impressed with. And at the end of the day you can only pick one. I leaned towards a guy that understood the Philadelphia, provincial approach that we have towards the Philadelphia Eagles. That there’s a passion that’s unique to Philadelphia. The rabid fans who support this team. And I felt Doug’s tenure here would help him deal with that, and understand that, and have a feeling for that. And we’ll find out. The one thing we know: You never really know.”

FKLHsd;flajs;dfjq3$%#$?%$%^#4j5k31;j45#$%%$#. A PHILLY GUY. Did Jeffrey Lurie tell you to say that to cover up for the obvious shortcomings of the new coach? Or is it a real thing? Or both? People shat on me for my take last week that the concept of searching for a PHILLY GUY (who, by definition, wins a championship every generation) was INSANE. Oh Kyle the Eagles aren’t actually doing this. And yet you have someone, ostensibly involved in the coaching search, citing that as literally the main reason why Pederson is a good hire. Is it real? Is it just a talking point? Who knows! But I can’t. I can’t even. I can not. It is not something I can do. ?

Meanwhile, Anthony Gargano pressed Jaws on why the Eagles didn’t interview Sean McDermott. Twice. Why? Why not?! Because apparently needy Sean McDermott would’ve been a good hire (probably better than Pederson though). But credit to Gargano for holding Jaws’ feet to the dumpster fire and pressing him on whether or not Pederson was indeed the Eagles’ third or fourth choice as has been reported (Jaws artfully danced around that question, but called many reports BS).

Jaws also mentioned that there were 20 or so candidates on the list, including Jon Gruden. But he wouldn’t elaborate on that one.

Listen to the full thing here.