I have no idea how the contest progresses on America’s Got Talent, mostly because the show is unwatchable since it time-shifts its crowd reactions in a way so jarring that it makes old Asian karate movies seem like they’ve been perfectly mastered… but Jon Dorenbos impressed last night and earned Ne-Yo’s Golden Buzzer, which is a series of words I never thought I’d write in that or any order. What does this mean? WHO KNOWS! But I presume Dorenbos is moving on in the competition.

Side note: That trick was off the chain. I literally just sat back in my chair and said “fuck outta here” when he revealed the card. Not bad, Jon. Not bad.

Side note 2: Not Julie:

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