If that’s what regrouping looks like, we’re in BIG trouble. Yesterday was a total disaster, the first real stinker of the Doug Pederson era. Instead of being pissed off and channeling all the frustration from the Lions game into their performance, this team just went deeper into their post-bye week hole. The Eagles looked like a Chip Kelly squad yesterday: Couldn’t block anybody in the trenches, couldn’t move the ball on offense, swiss cheese defense, undisciplined and sloppy, penalties galore. It was excruciating to watch, and the whole time my brain kept saying, “Oh, right, this is what we expected coming out of Training Camp.” The euphoria of the first three weeks is gone, and with it the feeling of everything being new and exciting and full of hope. We have to re-readjust our expectations as we remember this is still a team in the rebuilding phase.

THE GOOD

Photo credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Special Teams

Caleb Sturgis made both field goals, Donnie Jones averaged 44 yards on six punts with half inside the 20, coverage units were great all game, and Wendell Smallwood capitalized on the short kickoff resulting from the excessive celebration for using the ball as a prop idiocy to score one of the Eagles’ two non-offensive touchdowns. Gold star, Dave Fipp!

Carson Wentz didn’t get injured

Despite taking 11 hits and getting sacked five times.

Offense didn’t commit any turnovers

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Annnnnnnnnnd that’s it for the good stuff.

THE BAD

Photo credit: Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Forget bad, I feel like we should just skip to ugly, but for the sake of filling in the space…

Carson Wentz

This was Wentz’s first “welcome to the League, rookie” game. Granted, he didn’t have much of a chance with the offensive line in shambles and the Skins pass rush in his face on virtually every play. I was impressed with how well he kept his composure and continued to hang in there. Where most quarterbacks, rookies and veterans, get skittish, start feeling ghosts in the pocket and dropping their eyes at the first hint of pressure when they’re getting hit all game, Wentz never did. His eyes always remained downfield until the last moment and, if anything, I wish he’d have felt more ghosts in the pocket and taken off scrambling to help open things up a bit.

Wentz was out of sync with his receivers, his accuracy was erratic, and he sailed multiple throws both from within the pocket and on the run (though the deep ball to Matthews was perfect and shows how badly we need a legit deep threat to make that skill of his worthwhile). He didn’t play well, and the back-to-back sacks he took on the final drive despite having four-plus seconds in the pocket were unacceptable, but he made a number of plays out of nothing and I can’t imagine anyone came out of the game thinking he was the problem. Overall, Wentz never really got a chance to show anything because of the tire fire around him, and his best plays were negated by penalties.

Doug Pederson

First real rough game for Doug. It started with the decision he and Stoutland made to start Halapoulivaati Vaitai instead of putting Stefan Wisniewski at guard and sliding Alan Barbre to right tackle, even though the latter was a contingency plan practiced throughout preseason. Wisniewski was sure to make sure everyone knew his thoughts on the matter after the game, and even though he was a dickhead, I find it hard to blame him.

There’s way too much to pinpoint, so let’s just leave it at this: Pederson and Reich were taken to the woodshed by Skins defensive coordinator Joe Barry, who forced them into a limited number of formation groupings to help with blocking and further neutered an already neutered offense. The Eagles didn’t gain more than 17 yards until their seventh drive, which came in the third quarter. Fun!

The cherry on top: We had our first Andy Reidian moment from Doug with the decision to punt on 4th and 24 with 1:45 left. If he had rushed his punt team on the field following the sack of Wentz instead of wasting a timeout to conserve time for the punt (?!?!?!?!), then maybe I could’ve better sympathized with the reasoning. However, once they panicked and took that timeout, they HAD to go for it. I know Doug said they discussed the situation on the sidelines and decided that trying to stop the Skins and getting the ball back with 40-something seconds (it would’ve been less than the 48 or 49 he surmised in the post-game press conference) was the best course of action. Bullshit. Even if the defense, which had been gashed by the run all game, stopped the Skins and Pederson used both remaining timeouts, it sure felt like they were conceding defeat by not going for it on 4th and 24. Who knows, maybe Wentz does something superhuman and one of the receivers makes a crazy play/breaks some tackles to get the first (lol) or the Skins do a Skinsy thing on defense and commit a penalty that the refs call (LOLOLOL). After all, the Skins were just ITCHING to do something Skinsy, seeing as how they neglected to finish the Eagles off and gave them a chance to tie the score in the final minutes despite bludgeoning them every which way for 58 minutes. The score was somehow 27-20 when it should’ve been, like, 37-6 — the Skins were practically begging the Eagles to take the game.

Let’s be real, with the way the offense had played all game, going 60-plus yards for a touchdown in 40 seconds with no timeouts wasn’t happening. The best opportunity to score a touchdown and tie the game would have been by trying to convert the 4th and 24. Pederson had been aggressive through four games, but this was the first time in a critical moment that he looked meek.

Third down

The offense converted 4/12 and the defense allowed 7/13 conversions. The offense can’t extend drives to stay and the defense can’t stop drives. Allowing >50% conversion rate is a great way to ensure staying on the field for 39 consecutive snaps/pretty much one-and-a-half quarters straight and giving up touchdowns with ease while your offense, which hasn’t been able to get into a rhythm or do anything at all, languishes on the sideline.

Secondary

Surprise, relying on Nolan Carroll, Ledois McKelvin, Ron Brooks and Jalen Mills as the corners is starting to cost us. What’s more, I got a text mid-game from a friend who’s a Patriots fan to let me know that Eric Rowe was locking down A.J. Green. Malcolm Jenkins, save for the pick-six, and Rodney McLeod both had woeful games, as well. How many times did a Skins receiver have more than five yards of space when the ball came his way? It felt like at least 10. We expected DeSean to do this thing because that’s how the football gods demand it, but Pierre Garcon can’t run anymore and he was open all game (though he always seems to be against us). Even Vernon Davis balled out! Can you imagine how bad things would have been with Jordan Reed playing?

Jalen Mills’ finger-wagging

Fucking embarrassing. Hey, rookie, cut out the Dikembe Mutomobo crap. You made maybe one or two plays and were consistently targeted because the Skins didn’t think you could play. They weren’t wrong! DeSean smoked you all game and dropped an easy touchdown. I’m surprised Mills didn’t wag his finger after that one, too.

Cory Undlin better get in the kid’s face this week.

THE UGLY

Offensive Line

Lane Johnson’s suspension began, and the coaching staff trusted Vaitai to block Ryan Kerrigan (whoops!). Gotta feel for the rookie. He certainly wasn’t “put in the best position” possible by the coaches, despite him having the dreaded “great week of practice.” We were all scared of a Winston Justice 2.0 game, and that’s precisely what happened. Kerrigan dominated Vaitai and was the root of all problems on offense from the very first snap. The kid just didn’t belong on the field, and the Eagles had to shrink the playbook to only certain formations so they could keep in extra blockers to help. Not like it mattered.

The rest of the line outside of Vaitai didn’t help matters. Jason Kelce got dominated once again and committed multiple penalties. Jason Peters, Alan Barbre and Brandon Brooks were all shaky. Pass blocking, run blocking — across the board this was a total failure by the whole unit. They, like every other position group, got their asses kicked up and down the field.

Jim Schwartz’s once-dominant defense

Speaking of getting their asses kicked up and down the field. Jeez. The defense looked like it did in the first half against the Lions, all the way down to Fletcher Cox’s (zero tackles) brainless and costly red zone penalty on third down that resulted in an end-of-half touchdown, except for the whole game this time! They couldn’t stop a nosebleed and had no pass rush whatsoever. The Skins broke through for an easy touchdown on their third drive and had their way with the defense from that point on, racking up 493 total yards and averaging 7.4 yards per play. The front seven was struggling to stop the run before Bennie’s Logan’s injury (which looks to be significant enough that he’ll miss some games in this devastating stretch), but it really went to shit after he exited. The Skins finished with 230 yards rushing on 33 attempts (7.0 average). That 230 yards was only 60 less than the 293 rushing yards the Eagles had allowed TOTAL in the four games prior.

Yesterday’s defense was a step slow on everything, missed tackles, couldn’t maintain their gaps, and had guys running free all over the field. The unit’s lack of depth was exposed and, quite simply, they looked and performed like a Bill Davis defense. Here’s the proof:

Penalties

Ah, yes, the penalties. The Eagles have their sights set on the record book! Whereas last week we felt the Eagles were more victims of incompetent officiating, this game felt sloppy and undisciplined rather than unfair (despite their being a few suspect calls, i.e. Smallwood’s “block in the back” to erase a long completion to Dorial Green-Beckham). It was Chip Kelly era garbage all over again, and it was just as unwatchable. This was the third straight game with double-digit penalties, 13 for 114 yards to follow up the 14-111 shit show in Detroit. And for this to happen in the two weeks coming out of the bye is even more concerning. Seeing as how the depth will continue to be tested and Schwartz’s defenses have a penchant for penalties, I’m not confident this is a trend that’ll be changing. It absolutely has to change if the Eagles want to win more than two or three games the rest of the way.

I will say it’s unconscionable that the Eagles have only received three (3!!!!!!) holding penalties in their favor on defense this season. How is that even possible?

Playmakers

The offense only has two players with dynamic ability: The rookie QB and the 33-year-old, 5’6″ change-of-pace RB. Though I’ll give Jordan Matthews credit for making the catch on Wentz’s 55-yard bomb despite having the corner on top of him, the depressing truth is that no one is capable of making a play. Zach Ertz, who made a leaping 22-yard catch in traffic four plays earlier, dropped what should’ve been a touchdown inside the five-yard line and forced the Eagles to settle for a field goal when it was 27-17. Then again, he probably wouldn’t have been able to break the tackle of the cornerback weighing 50-plus pounds less than him and would’ve been brought down at the 1- or 2-yard line. I’m just shocked the ball wasn’t intercepted after bouncing off his hands. Ertz needs to step up in the next six games when the season will be decided, though it certainly feels like he’s on schedule to put up 50% of his season stats after Week 12.

Teams are going to keep doing what the Skins did, which is what opponents did the final two seasons of the Chip Kelly era: Load up the box, come after the quarterback with extra rushers, single cover all the receivers whom they don’t respect at all, lock down all the short stuff, and dare the Eagles to beat them by going outside their comfort zone. The Eagles simply don’t have any true game-breakers at the skill positions to make defenses pay for employing this strategy.

WHAT’S NEXT

Remember when I wrote this three weeks ago?

The 2016 season is turning into something magical. Embrace it, love it, go with it, cherish it. This is only beginning! The Eagles aren’t just legit, they’re bona fide contenders. They lead the league in points scored and points allowed, turnover margin, time of possession and are one of two undefeated teams in the NFC (Vikings). Over 75% of teams to start 3-0 make the playoffs. The goal now isn’t just to make the playoffs and win the division, it’s — I can’t believe I’m typing this — home field advantage.

I’m such a dingus. Talk about having to re-readjust expectations. With the next six games being Vikings, @Cowboys, @Giants, Falcons, @Seahawks, Packers, @Bengals, the Eagles are entering the teeth of their schedule and the very real possibility of a slide that ends their season before December.

A rested Vikings team coming off their bye travels to the Linc on Sunday. They’ll be looking to improve to 6-0 and have a QB who definitely wants to make a statement. The Vikings have the best defense in football and the most menacing front seven. The Eagles offensive line is in a state of disarray, so why shouldn’t this game be a repeat of yesterday’s, except worse?

FLIP SIDE: Don’t ask me why, but I’m feeling weirdly confident the Eagles will bounce back and at least make this a close game. Their season is on the line, at home, against a team that is riding high and will have had two weeks to smell itself. The NFL is a week-to-week league, and I’m not yet ready to fully buy the Vikings and Sam Bradford.