IT’S SCHEDULE DAY, BABY! The first of 48 consecutive days where, knowing nothing about which teams will surprise by overachieving, which will bust, which will be dealing with injuries, or what the weather will be anywhere in the country and London six months from now, we can definitively predict the Eagles’ record, game-by-game. GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR VAPID TAKES:

John Smallwood thinks the schedule leaves the Eagles a SMALL MARGIN OF ERROR:

SOMETIMES the NFL schedule is set to where it becomes just as important when you play certain opponents as to who they are.

The Eagles had better get most of the kinks resolved in training camp and preseason games.

Let’s just say the Birds need to have most things worked out before their 2017 season kicks off. Unlike a year ago, the NFL, which released the full league schedule Thursday night, did the Eagles no favors; they open the season at Washington on Sept. 10, then travel to Kansas City for what shapes up to be an emotional meeting between head coach Doug Pederson and his mentor, former longtime Eagles coach Andy Reid.

Wow. That’a deep. The Eagles would indeed be best to get out all their mistakes during the preseason, unlike other years, where they just saved them for the entire back half of the schedule. 0-16.

Les Bowen thinks the schedule looks NOT THAT BAD:

NOT THAT BAD.

The Eagles’ 2017 schedule doesn’t look easy – really, can a schedule, any schedule, look easy to a 7-9 team that hasn’t made the playoffs since 2013? – but the schedule-makers could have done worse by the Birds, who got a coveted late-season bye (Nov. 12) and were granted their request for back-to-back West Coast games (Dec. 3 at the Seattle Seahawks, Dec. 10 at the Los Angeles Rams). That arrangement will allow the team to stay out west during the interim week, making the best of a year that otherwise would require three coast-to-coast trips. The first comes Oct. 1, when the Eagles visit the now-Los Angeles Chargers, and it will be the Birds’ first game in LA since 1990.

EASY PEASY! Just two games on the road to start the season, a late-season East-West road stretch, followed by home games against the Raiders and Cowboys. NO SWEAT! 16-0.

Ike Reese thinks… well, Ike doesn’t think, he just types words in an order resembling coherent thought:

Even if they come up way short and underachieve beyond our wildest expectations… by going 7-1 at home. 10-6.

Jimmy Kempski is glad the schedule makers didn’t litter the schedule with traps, like a poorly-conceived Peter Jackson script:

This looks like a fair schedule. There is nothing egregiously bad to complain about, and the Eagles got some significant advantages in regard to the placement of bye weeks.

Yes, thankfully this year the dastardly NFL schedule makers didn’t send the Eagles to Kirkuk and Aleppo before that big Week 7 home game against the Redskins. It’s always a classic trap game against a depleted Kirkukian squad, whose entire offensive line has been beheaded by a fringe group of ISIS militants, before a big divisional matchup. It’s also worth noting that the schedule makers built the Eagles their own private rail service to travel from Seattle to LA, where they’ll be pampered at the Playboy mansion before the Rams game and then flown cross-country on an actual magic carpet to play the Giants. The Eagles caught a break. You just never know what those zany schedule folks will have in store for you.

Eliot Shorr-Parks feels good about the schedule because the Eagles have a second-year quarterback who, you know, we think could be good:

Fun fact: Having Carson Wentz, who is religious, actually decreases the chance of rain in that December road game in Seattle by 50%. It also guarantees you a win in Kansas City. 16-0.

Matt Lombardo thinks there’s no way the Eagles can lose to the Redskins with 10 days to prepare (this game is an early clubhouse leader for a firm W, just behind that trap road game in St. Louis, which the Eagles positively can’t lose due to aforementioned favorable travel):

The Eagles have 10 days to prepare for a pivotal NFC East showdown in a potential revenge-situation. Kirk Cousins typically plays the Eagles tough, and this will be no different, but the Eagles show plenty of fight in this one.

Of course, no one is pointing out that the Redskins play the 49ers the week before and have a bye the week before that, after their Monday Night game against the Chiefs. So, they basically have 20 days to prepare for Doug Pederson’s simplistic offense. Advantage: Redskins. 0-16.

Dan Levy inks in 8-8:

At second glance, probably 8-8. Nobody has any idea what the Eagles will be right now, a week away from the 2017 NFL Draft. More importantly on a night like tonight, it’s hard to know much about their opponents this coming season either.

Undefeated? No. An even 8-8 looks pretty likely right now.

IT IS ENTIRELY TOO EARLY TO MAKE ANY REASONABLE PREDICTION. 8-8.

Nick Fierro just wrote out the entire schedule, which of course makes it much easier to read than just listing it by date and time:

In Week 4, the Birds visit Los Angeles for the first time since 1990 when they face the Chargers on Oct. 1.

That game will be followed by a home matchup with the Arizona Cardinals (Oct. 8) and a quick-turnaround road game at Carolina on a Thursday night (Oct. 12).

A second prime-time game follows after an extended break on Oct. 23 (Monday night) at home against the Washington Redskins, which marked the first of a three-game homestand that takes them into their off week.

And then. And then. And then. 8-8.

Nick Kayal thinks the Eagles can be anywhere from sub-mediocre to just slightly better than mediocre:

OBVIOUSLY. 7-9. Or 9-7.

Jeff McLane thinks the opener against the Redskins will tell you how the division will shake out:

The Eagles’ goal this season, as stated by Carson Wentz, is to win the NFC East. Over the last two years, they’ve had the worst combined record of the four teams and are the only team not to have made the playoffs. The division doesn’t appear to be as up for grabs as it once was, but the opener could be a barometer for the season.

Reminder: The Eagles started 3-0 last season and crushed the Steelers by 600 points. They lost nine of their next 13 games. It’s all riding on Week 1. 0-16.