The Washington Capitals bowed out of the playoffs again last night after showing just the slightest signs of remaining life by coming back from a 3-1 series deficit and forcing a Game 7 against the Penguins. After the game, longtime Caps writer and even longer time certified Russian SLAVA MALAMUD (@SlaveMalamud) went off on the Caps and Alex Ovechkin in a Tweetstorm. Thread:

Caps problems extend beyond a bad def pair, an underperforming goalie. The failure is endemic and systematic. It’s the result of choices fanboy owner Leonsis made in 2004 when he decided his business model would be not building a winner but servicing a marketable megastar. There’s nothing wrong with building a team around a star, but it has to be the right kind of star. Ovi just isn’t the “win first” type. I’ve known Ovi since he was 17. Kid was born with a silverware set in his mouth. Always told he is the greatest, teammates must be worthy but his demands on himself stay the same. He’s not the bloodied inspirational leader. He is the tousled-hair sexy charismatic ruffian. Yes, he’s the NHL’s favorite stripper who’s been giving the hockey world a lap dance for 13 years. Sorry, but the length of your erection hockey world, is unhealthy by now. You need to face the truth: the Caps personality-cult culture is counterproductive to winning the cup. Fueled by innumerable fanboy blogs and media whipped into terrified subservience by CapsPR, the culture feeds on self, kills all dissent, and spurns all criticism. You know, Caps fans, that despite all the issues Oates and Hunter had, your main problem w/ them was trying to turn Ovi into a man of the system. You hate that. You want your boy toy wild and free. Everyone wants this of Ovi, even RUS coaches. Compare this to Crosby who will take any role on CAN w/o complaint. You call 87 a whiner, but who whined the loudest during the lockout, threatening to stay in the KHL? Who whines now, threatening to leave the league to get an Olympic trinket? While Leonsis bends over backwards to satisfy all his ridiculous demands. This is a guy who looks out for himself and his public image (Wild and Sexy Rebel, Patriot of Motherland). His only interest in the Cup is how his reflection will look in it. Problem is, Leonsis has the same priorities. 15/ He has dissolved himself and the team in Ovechkin’s 13-year-long marketing campaign. It worked out great financially. The price to pay is being humiliated every year by real winners. Congrats, Caps, you’ve sold lots of t-shirts. Congrats, Caps fans, you’ve been had. Oh, and that sound you’ve just heard is your window of opportunity slamming shut. I hope this wild ride on the Charisma Train was fun. Rant out. Enjoy your Redskins mini camp.

Hockey Twitter is currently masturbating to this. For real, if you know someone who Tweets about hockey and you see them this morning, ask to see their hands, because I can all but assure you that they are in that person’s pants yanking on foreskin in a festive fashion.

This makes for a quaint little narrative – blame Ovechkin – and Malamud knows much more about the Capitals than I do, but it seems a little too easy and convenient – Malamud has a habit of railing against Ovechkin, like when he tweet-stormed last year about his connections to Putin – to blame the best player, who led the league in goal scoring four consecutive years, on a team that has had the best record in hockey three times in the last eight seasons and has essentially won its division every year. Is Ovechkin a shitty two-way player and a bit of a me-first superstar? Yeah. But my guess is every team in the league would kill for a player who could score 50 goals in their sleep. And lack of caring or nonchalance doesn’t typically lose Game 7s. Blame Ovechkin, sure, but also blame the defense and goaltending and the players around him. It’s as much the organization’s fault for not being able to build a winner around a gifted scorer as it is solely Ovechkin’s fault.