My God, just when you think John Gonzalez has gone full-Cali and resigned himself to a life of Mai Tais OJ, vodka and club sodas, he goes an unearths one of the goofiest tales you will ever read.

An electrician who identifies himself only as the Son of Sam (it’s like he’s trying to make me a t-shirt millionaire) told Gonzo that late at night, deep in the bowels of Sixers training, he wrote tiny, hidden pro-Process messages and buried them within the walls of the practice facility. From The Ringer:

“I want Joel Embiid to know what I did,” he told me. “But I’m also pitted between Joel Embiid and my job. Not like it’s illegal what I did. You can’t even see it. But … I think I’m going to have to remain anonymous.”

OK. What should we call you?

“I’ll leave that to you,” he initially replied, then immediately came up with an answer: “Son of Sam.”

Of course.

That’s when he had an idea. He was alone, he’s an electrician, and he’s a Sixers fan. “There was drywall up all over,” SOS said. “I realized there were lots of hiding places if someone wanted to hide shit. I wanted to hide shit.”

So he hid shit. For the next six weeks, he wrote pro-Process messages all over the building in black Sharpie. You can’t see them, but they’re there — secreted behind walls and in ceilings, scrawled on light fixtures and outlet panels, scribbled on fuse boxes. They’re everywhere — including the owners’ lounge/boardroom and general manager’s office. You might say the building is powered by the Process. (Last electrician joke. Promise. Probably.)

Few things:

  1. This is the new workers put a Billy Penn statue atop the Comcast Center story. [Consider this a reminder to workers on Comcast 2 to complete their mission.]
  2. I can’t wait for the first Embiid IG holding up a switch plate with a big grin on his face.
  3. In case you were wondering, no, the Sixers brass probably won’t take too kindly to this, and it seems there’s a high probability that Harris, Colangelo and Co., apparently still chafed by all the Hinkie love, will tear the place apart not unlike Bobby Axelrod searching for the bug in Billions.

Anyway, there’s a lot more on the frame of this story. Gonzo and SOS paint the walls with little details about the facility’s construction, Harris’ wife’s indecision, and Colangelo’s desire for an office commensurate with the size of his collars. Read it and see more pictures here.

Buy a shirt:

photo from The Ringer