As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker's Philadelphia, where you can get $1 hot dogs Flyers games. And really cheap drinks. Always.
Fucking Flyers fans-- you’re everywhere.
1) Remember last week when NBC weather girl Sheena Parveen made the voyage back to her native Clearwater to go on an awkward lunch date with Hunter Pence where she asked him strange questions and he showed her that move which looked like The Shocker but was really The Matrix that could be opened up to become The Turkey? Breathe. Well, the trip was a booty call... of sorts.
She has a boyfriend in Tampa, according to Dan Gross. His name is Jamison Uhler, a former NBC 10 anchor and PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS SEXY SINGLE who used to date Kerri-Lee Halkett. Yeah, you hate this guy. And so, perhaps, does Hunter.
3) An arrest warrant was issued for Michael Vick’s brother, Marcus, today. He failed to show up for a court appearance for one reason or another. We really don’t care.
4) The very entitled David Murphy (Phillies beat writer), who doesn’t realize that the last person on earth you want to rip is someone with a following and no eddetour, told me today that I was like “an after school special on logical fallacy.” Guess he couldn’t fit those sorts of heady phrases into his 2,000 word prose on how the Phillies’ fastest player should use his speed more often.
5) This:
6) Ryan Howard, who already shortened his Twitter handle by dropping the 6, is currently following two females on Twitter: His fianceé, Krystle Campbell, and Kim Kardashian. That is all.
The DNL crew sprung for beach bar chairs this week
1) Worlds collide.
Lots of stuff on Daily News Live tonight. First and foremost, Twitter war heroes John Gonzalez and David Murphy made their first joint appearance on the show, which was broadcast live from Clearwater.
Got to again give Gonzo the slight edge, though: He broke the ice and busted out the brilliant mark that down on your iPad, Barkann line-- an unintentional hybrid of suck it, Trabek and Van Wilder’s write that down, all while paying homage to Barkann's iconic Gen 1 iPad. +2.
2) Moving on (which I think we can all agree is what’s needed here). Lee participated in DNL’s Quick Six segment. One problem: Lee’s hamster operates at the speed of a turtle on Xanies, making quick six a mathetmatical impossibility. But he did give us this when asked how Cole Hamels won last year's hitting contest among starting pitchers:
"I don’t know, I only had the highest average, more home runs, more RBIs, more hits, a stolen base. I don’t know. I lost."
I agree. How, in the hell, does one hit two home runs, gallop the bases and piss excellence, then not win the award? Please.
3) CSN’s other big announcement (I’m telling you-- DNL had substance today) was... Gregg Murphy being added as Phillies sideline reporter for all home and away games on CSN, Comcast Network, and MyPHL 17. via the press release:
PHILADELPHIA - (February 21, 2012) – Comcast SportsNet today announced that the network’s anchor/reporter Gregg Murphy has been added to the Phillies broadcast team as a field reporter for the 2012 season. Murphy will join Tom McCarthy, Gary Matthews and Chris Wheeler, beginning with Comcast SportsNet’s broadcast of the Saturday, March 3rd Spring Training game featuring the Phillies and Yankees.
I actually like this move. Yeah, we’re going to miss continued success and I generally prefer my sideline reporters to be females sporting endless stilts... but Murphy is good and will certainly give us more than Sarge.
And as some of you asked, no, this doesn't mean Sarge is leaving the team, just not doing the on-field stuff.
4) LETS MAKE FUN OF THE METS. Deadspin has a rather in depth post on how Madoff’s money ran the team: [Deadspin]
The Mets chose not to pay their premiums on insurance for injured players, instead putting that money into a Madoff account, and pay players directly from the returns.
And then there's the famous Bobby Bonilla contract. Instead of paying him the $5.9 million owed on the last year of his deal, the Mets bought Bonilla out—and agreed to pay him $1.2 million annually from 2011 to 2035. It's not the only deferred contract the Mets handed out, and now we know why: they were investing that long-term money with Madoff. Wilpon and Katz figured the Madoff money would cover the contracts and make them a tidy profit.
6) Finally, tonight (Tuesday) at 11, Hunter Pence eats Sheena Parveen eats with Sheena Parveen. This is absolutely going to end in more CB posts, I promise.
Just in case you were wondering (I was), Pence, who is rumored to be no more with Playmate Shannon James, follows only one Philly media person. One. Sheena Parveen:
Welcome to our new and improved Drinker’s Philadelphia CB Six Pack, your place to opine on the previous week in Philadelphia sports... and vote on who you’d like to fuck, marry, and kill.
Stop by Drinker’s locations for cheap beers, delicious food, and good times during all Philly sporting events.
It’s been a slow sports week. There was a handful of Flyers and Sixers games, but nothing very exciting (other than the advent of #shitmaliksays, of course) to report on.
On Wednesday, we debuted our new Drinker’s CB Six Pack, which featured more varied questions but less pictures.
No pictures, actually...
Anyway, I figured out how to include pictures for next time, so we’re good there. And, one thing the new format does allow us to do is create swell little infographics, which are currently all the rage of the nerd community. Then again, so was Twitter in 2008, and, um, they turned out to be right on that one.
So, here's a very poorly designed picture(s) I made for you based on nearly 500 responses to the Six Pack.
[this first one is for TV color guys, except Quick, who is the Eagles' lone dedicated color analyst]
As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker's Philadelphia, where I will be hosting MIGHTY DUCKS QUIZZO Thursday night at 8 PM-- Drinker's Tavern in Old City (2nd and Market).
Sixers mascot: Dogg is out. He’s completely unoriginal, may land the Sixers in a lawsuit and is borderline racist. Soo... we’re left with two: Ben Franklin or Phil E. Moose.
The moose is going to win.
When you put it to vote, you run the risk of the public uprising and choosing the most ridiculous (worst) option. It’s the Sanjaya Effect-- he’s going to win because people want to screw with the voting process. Plus, the moose is so ridiculous, it might win people over by bringing more attention and fame to itself than deserved-- that’s the William Hung Theory. This thing might slowly be winning me over. Holy shit... it all goes back to American Idol... the show that is produced by 19 Entertainment... which is owned by the holding company founded by new Sixers owner Joshua Harris. Ah! We’ve been punked, Philadelphia! Larry Platt’d! Pants on the ground, pants on the ground!!! We’re looking like fools with our pants on the ground! Long live the moose! Mooooose!
Phillies offseason: Thumbs down, though I will reserve final judgement for when Ruben is done slapping his wang on money-laden tables. For now, though, the overabundance of over-30, slow, plodding white guys remains a concern. Unlike the Marlins, who are going to salsa dance their way to home plate.
Post-game rant guys: See both here. Angry Grey Ryan is too commercialized. The minute CSN producers limited Meredith Marakovits to one PGL interview at PJ Whelihan's (Ryan), the segment officially jumped the shark. Then again, eatdatpussy445 is now being “sponsored” by our friends at Buzz on Broad, sooo... I’ll still like the pussy, though.
Crossing Broads: Look at that segue. Meredith has her ups and downs, but the black sweater with do you see me now? undergarment lines is always a winner. Ovi’s mistress, Maria Kirilenko, however, is athlete-dating perfection: she herself is an athlete, she’s Russian, doesn’t seem like a complete whore and models. That’s hard to beat.
More ridiculous: The Maclin-donuts story one of my all-time favorites to write. But watching Kurt Warner just straight up emasculate Five on national television was perfectly hilarious and sad. And hilarious because it was sad. I’ll go McNabb.
This week Drinker's Challenge: Predict, correctly, the number of shots on Ryan Miller by the Flyers tomorrow night in Buffalo. Winner gets a gift card to Drinker's establishments. Enter after the jump.
As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker's Philadelphia, where you can get $1 hot dogs during all Eagles and Flyers games. And really cheap drinks. Always.
Pissed off at: D-Jac is Rod Tidwell before Tidwell’s wife smacked him around in Jerry Maguire’s place the summer before his contract year. Up until that point, Tidwell felt he was entitled to a new contract. He refused to change his ways, despite Jerry’s unhealthily-long shower speech to the Tidwell and his swinging dong. Eventually, Tidwell got it and realized that he had to change his ways, do his job, and let the chips fall where they may. The whole thing culminated in him catching the winning touchdown pass on Monday Night Football, getting knocked out for a few (something that would now force him to take a myriad tests before getting anywhere near the field again), and earning the respect of Glenn Fry, who presumably gave him a new contract shortly thereafter*.
*Bill Simmons has one of my all-time favorite suspended disbelief posts ever in his mailbag. He calculated that it would be impossible for Jerry to have a change of heart, jet home, and deliver his "you complete me" speech to Renee Zellweger in front of the "I hate men" group.
Anyway, DeSean never had that beachside convo with his wife. Hell, he doesn’t have a wife. The you have to earn it memo never reached him. He’s never changed, never grown up. He’s still an immature kid who puts himself way in front of the team, and that’s not going to get him a huge contract... with anyone. I’ll take DeSean here. Plus, Andy is dead to me.
Flyers Winter Classic Jerseys: Pass. The Flyers would have had to release a sky blue or the Tony the Tiger jersey to not get a positive response here. Still, some of you seem unhappy with the somewhat uninspired design.
Eagles or, um, Eagles: Wait, what? A friend’s son plays for the Marsh Creek Eagles Pop Warner football team. They just won the Eastern Regional playoffs - smoking NY and DC in the process (always fun) - and will now play in the Pop Warner National Championships at Disney’s Wide World of Sports on Thursday.
They need some money. The trip is costing them upwards of $40,000.
Here’s the PayPal link to contribute (I donated $25 to start). Every little bit counts, and they are a qualified 501c, so all donations are tax deductible, too.
The Eagles won their regional final 32-0 this weekend. Here’s a link to the league site for additional details. Our man Gavin “The Hammer” Tabasso ripped off a couple of huge runs last week, seen here and here. He's a white man's Shady McCoy... who actually gets to touch the ball.
Please take a few second to check out the links and donate what you can. Thanks!
Crossing Broads: Our friends over at Puck Daddy have a post up today about the removal of Paulina Gretzky’s provocative Twitter account (COED Magazine aggregated all of her TwitPics), so we decided to throw her up against the wall another fun-loving daughter. Since the surname is relevant, Paulina’s adversary will be Nicki Meyer, the volleyball-playing daughter of Urban Meyer who is as attainably cute as Paulina is whory. It’s a cute vs. hot showdown. I go cute. What says you?
Murph v. Miss: Miss (here's why), unless they're playing Words with Friends, in which case I'll go Bob Costas.
Sixers: Neither-- I’m more excited than I was last year because perhaps the in-game experience won’t completely suck with Adam Aron running things. The Sixers still need a lot of on-court help, however.
Today’s Drinker’s Challenge: Correctly predict the next Major League player to be acquired (traded or free agent) by the Phillies this offseason. The player has to have previous Major League experience. If it’s a multi-player trade, the “bigger name” player will prevail. Winner gets a prize to Drinker’s Philadelphia establishments. Enter after the jump.
As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker's Philadelphia, where you can get $1 hot dogs during all Eagles and Flyers games. And really cheap drinks. Always.
Papelbon signing: I don’t. That’s nothing against Papelbon as a pitcher (I’d actually take him over Madson), nor is it based on the fact that he’s kind of douchey. I just don’t like shelling out the largest contract ever to a relief pitcher. So far this offseason (and knowing Rube, there’s still much to be done), the Phillies have added another aging player who strikes out a lot and doled out a massive contract to a closer, the most unpredictable position in baseball. Those are probablyexactly the two things the Phillies didn’t need to do this winter. But I’ll withhold judgement until the Big Poker reveals his hand.
Paterno firing: Yes, he should have. Now, whether that’s because he knew too much and didn’t do anything, or because the university dragged its feet for three days and forced themselves into a position where they had to fire Paterno, I’m not sure. If - huge if -Sandusky’s attorney is telling the truth - that the boy McQueary saw in the shower denies being raped - it means that, at least in this one instance, Paterno was accurate when he said he didn’t believe a rape happened. Again, huge if, but it is worth noting. And if that is the case, Paterno may - stress, may - have been unjustly removed. But again - big disclaimer here - my gut tells me he knew much more than what’s out there.
DeSean Jackson: He’s overrated. His on-field play has dropped off fairly significantly from last year (catches, touchdowns, and receptions over 50 yards-- all down), he pissed off Andy Reid enough to get benched, and now may be broke. Ugh.
Crossing Broads: We’ll call this the blondes next door edition. I love me some Ali Gorman. She instantly livens up any newscast with her perky smile, sharp intellect, and good evening, Philadelphia tops. Nadine, on the other hand, is shown here just two weeks after giving birth. Mama! She’s the anti-hockey wife: a modest, take-home-to-mom, um, mom. Here she is on FOX Philly earlier this year promoting the Flyers Wives Fight for Lives Carnival (annnnd she cares for others!). However, Gorman still takes the cake here-- she brings something to the table on a regular basis with her health reports and she’s an R.N. -- I think I got me a fever, Nurse Gorman!
Crossing Bros: Is it just me or has Ruben Amaro morphed into Dean Pritchard from Old School?
I just don’t want to see this trend to continue. Next thing you know, Amaro is drunk with power and using his position to castoff young talent for his own immediate gain. Oh, wait... Yeah, I like Giroux’s flow.
TV performance: SNL’s take on the Penn State scandal was excellent, but Iceman Bob Costas nailed that Sandusky interview last night. Nailed it! Hell, I’d vote for Bob for president. Seriously.
This week Drinker’s Challenge: Guess correctly the number of receiving yards DeSean Jackson has on Sunday night. Winner gets a prize from Drinker’s. Enter after the jump.
As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker's Philadelphia, where you can get $1 hot dogs during all Eagles and Flyers games. And really cheap drinks. Always.
Phillies: I’m not over it. And to all those meta, overanalyzing bloggers and writers who think differently: get in touch with your readers.
There are so many small - yet loud - sects of Phillies fans on the internet who take everything just one step too seriously. Some folks rely too heavily on stats, others are too forgiving of players, and some just don’t have a clue. The Phillies are much bigger and reach many more people than just the I finally had a thrill in my life, 24-7 Twitter users, who instinctively flinch any time anyone says anything bad about their team. Phillies fans range from 10-year-olds who loves sports to 65-year-olds who grew up listening to Bill Campbell. The greatest era in Phillies history may have just come to an end. Sure, they’ll be good next year (and perhaps for the foreseeable future), but the core of the team is aging, some of our most beloved players will depart in the next few months (J-Roll™, Madson, Ibanez, Lidge), and the team’s best regular season ever (read: ever) was flushed down the drain in a five-game series against guys named Freese and Motte and Schujohnwanamaker and Garcia, after the Phillies held a series lead. Twice.
The worst part about the loss is that we got so caught up in planning a parade that we forgot to acknowledge the impending departures mentioned above. We thought the remaining players still had a few productive seasons left, and while that very well may still be the case, there are serious questions about the lineup’s productivity and Ryan Howard’s blown-to-shreds Achilles, both of which are casting a dark shadow on the next few seasons.
So, over-thinking, too-easily-forgiving, I’m so much more refined than the average fan internet soothsayers-- stop whining about our sadness. Complaining about our pain has replaced Shane Victorino as the most annoying local internet trend... and it’s only taken like three days.
Victorino: You know my thoughts, but at least now FOX has tasked him to Tweet about how great the postseason is. So we can just blame Joe Buck, or something.
Hip Hop: The rabbit is number three on my Things That Must Go in local sports list, just behind CSN’s zen third base camera that was introduced this year for Phillies broadcasts*... and Chris Wheeler.
*If you don’t know what camera I’m talking about, keep an eye out for it next year-- it has an obviously different refresh rate, more saturated colors, and a thin black border on the corners.
I think we’re making some progress on Hip Hop’s death, but I don’t have anything concrete.
Crossing Broads: I really just chose this topic because I wanted to talk about the new Ice Girl uniforms, which fall somewhere between underwear and I wore this on Halloween so you’d fuck me. I’m leaning towards the latter... and that’s a good thing. And the girls perform a much needed function, because the NHL never got by for 70 years without scantily clad coeds shaking their tail-feathers in goaltenders faces during TV timeouts. Nope, never. Ice Girls all the way.
Crossing Bros: Cooter has the nickname, the nowyou see them now you don’t teeth, and he’s only 18. Harry Z has porn charges against him and was a hockey player at an Ivy League college (quite possibly the most underrated jersey-chasing quotient). But I gotta go Cooter. I mean, his nickname is Cooter!
Goal horn or Peco: I hate both. But I want to talk about something else that was mentioned in the Six Hole way back in February. Then, we asked what (who) would last longer: Raul Ibanez’s beard or Moammar Gadhafi. Well, I picked Moammar, and I was right. However, both had an up and down run and neither will be seen again.
This week’s Drinker’s Challenge: Guess correctly the number of saves made by Flyers goalies tomorrow night against the Blues. We have 10 pairs of tickets to give away for a special screening of Friday Night Lights on Tuesday night (well that doesn't seem to make sense now, does it?). The movie’s director, Peter Berg; author, Buzz Bissinger; and Glen Macnow will be on hand for a discussion.
Also, the Philadelphia Film Society is sponsoring a screening of a new documentary, UNDEFEATED, tonight at The Ritz at 5 PM. It's the story of Memphis teenagers and their volunteer coach who struggles to keep their lives on track. Be sure to check it out.
If we have more than 10 winners, we’ll choose at random. Enter after the jump.
As always, this segment is sponsored by the fine folks from Drinker's Philadelphia, who are hosting Stand Up University at Drinker's West at 3900 Chestnut on Sunday nights. Your chance to get drunk and try your comedy skills.
Eagles: It’s the coach. He brought together an extremely heralded group of stars and they’ve started 1-4. Whether they are partly to blame (they are) or not, there’s no denying that the Eagles have talent on par with the best teams in the league. Unfortunately, the whole is not greater than the sum of its parts.
For too many years now, Reid has made the same dumb mistakes and shown an unfathomable failure to correct or learn from them. Unlike Charlie Manuel, who admittedly didn’t know how to pull off a double switch when he got here but has since learned, Reid is like Pavlov’s dog... only if Pavlov’s dog tried to eat the bell and didn’t make the connection between ringing and food. The same stimulus - over and over again - is not producing the intended response (I’m talking about the two minute drill here, folks). The dog quickly figured out that when the bell rang, it was time to eat. Reid, on the other hand, has watched the clock tick down for years and still doesn’t recognize that he’s out of plays when it hits zero, even though he salivates the whole time. Fire him. Please.
Rollins: If the Phillies can lock up Rollins for three years with a fourth-year option (their option), then I’d do it. But signing an aging shortstop to a five-year deal when this team is already over the hill and cascading down the other side... well, that’s just stupid.
I’m tough on J-Roll™, but he’s had a tremendous career here and should be given nothing other than the longest standing ovation in team history when he returns. Still, there’s a time to say goodbye. I think now is that time.
October sadness: The image of Ryan Howard scooting around Whole Foods on a Rascal on a day where most of us expected him to be preparing for an NLCS game is going to go down as one of the most haunting and telling pictures in the fabric of Philly sports. The season began with so much promise (and payroll!) but ended with Howard slumped on the first base line and shopping for organic groceries on an old persons motorized cart. Sickening.
Crossing Broads: KHL ice girls!
Crossing Bros: Girls love Giroux despite the gaping whole between his teeth. JVR, on the other hand, has boyish good looks and beastly skills. Tomato-tohockey player. Guess I’ll go Roo.
Flyers goal song: Many of you have told me that you don’t like the Union’s DOOP song being played at Flyers games. Last year, some of the players (I believe, Briere) requested the song be used at The Well. The Flyers asked the Union and were given permission to use it, which they did beginning in the playoffs.
I like it. I say have all local teams use it. Let the Phillies use it once every three games when they hit a home run and the Eagles play it once a month when they score a touchdown. Synergy! Since you all like those horrible abortion mashups of Phillies, Flyers, and Eagles logos on t-shirts, I see no reason why this wouldn’t work. DOOP.
Today’s Drinker’s challenge: Guess the total number of offensive yards gained for the Eagles on Sunday. Closest wins a $50 gift card to Amazon (our prize from CBS Philly’s Blog Awards, as promised).
This segment is sponsored by our friends from Philly Bars 215, owners of Drinker’s Pub, Lucy’s, Noche, and now Union Transfer, the brand spankin’ new mid-sized concert venue located at 1026 Spring Garden. It just opened last night, so be sure to stop by and check it out. Lots of popular indie bands are scheduled this fall.
This week, the incredibly generous folks from MasterCard are kicking in the prize: Two (2) club level tickets to this Sunday's Eagles-Giants game, complete parking pass.
Panic: Not. Just. Yet. But they’re backing into the playoffs in a way eerily reminiscent of the 2011 Flyers.
Better: I gotta go Fake Vince Young. Not only has he successfully turned the existence of a current third-string quarterback into a profitable venture, but he’s also getting women and men alike to believe his ruse in bars and nightclubs. Brilliant. Vince Young? Eh.
Crossing Broads: Ms. CB isn’t going to like this one- she hates the fact that I think Lea Michele looks like Ms. CB. Lea wins, but Sofia is coming on real strong lately. Her agent got her that brilliant deal with Comcast, which just features her walking around doing sexy things and talking dirty. Still, Lea wins... ya know, because she looks like Ms. CB.
Crossing Bros: Purely by their taste in women, I go Mayberry and his mermaid-loving habits.
What do you watch: Phils. Stop it.
Win Eagles tickets: This week, our Drinker’s challenge offers you an incredible prize thanks to the fine folks at MasterCard:
Tell us your Priceless Philadelphia Eagles moment, and you can win tickets to this weekend’s game courtesy of MasterCard. Be there in person as the Eagles take on the New York Giants at Lincoln Financial Field this Sunday at 1 p.m.
All you have to do is leave your Priceless Eagles moment in the comments and you’re entered to win two tickets to this Sunday’s Eagles game against the Giants. Best one wins. Must enter by 3 PM today! The tickets are in the club level and include a VIP parking pass. Be sure to leave your email address in the email address field and use your real name when commenting.
As always, this segment is sponsored by the fine folks from Drinker's Philadelphia. Check out their newly-renovated Drinker's Tavern at 2nd and Market in Old City.
Cy Young: This is like trying to choose between which son you would eat (or how does that saying go?). Cliff Lee pisses excellence on a nightly basis. For realsies, what other pitcher would just smile and say “wow” when giving up a game-tying home run with two outs in the ninth? He’s taken eight shutouts to at least that point in the game. He’s completed six of them.
Halladay, without as many gaudy outings, has been a model of consistency. His first shutout of the season - probably not coincidentally - came when he had a chance to pitch the Phillies into the playoffs. His thing went off.
Unfortunately, neither of their numbers are as good as Clayton Kershaw's:
218 IP, 236 K, 51 BB, 2.30 ERA, 0.98 WHIP
That’s frightening.
But since we have to choose, I go Cliff Lee. No, not because he’s my favorite player, but because he’s done historical things with those six shutouts and two dominant months of June and August. When he’s on, there is no better pitcher in baseball, and that’s hard to argue. Plus, he has two home runs.
More ridiculous: Here’s the thing with Scarlett Johansson’s nude pics: they turned out exactly how you would expect leaked nude pics of ScarJo to turn out. Her bare back seductively (yet shyly) shown in a full-length mirror, and her early-morning right boob hovering lonely in a sea of blankets... You actually come away respecting her more than you did before, and the bar was already set pretty high.
I’m not sure there’s a precedent or sports equivalent for this. The only thing I can come up with is Mitch Williams giving up the home run to Joe Carter in 1993. At first, it seemed like it would be a horrific, potentially career-ending incident. But after some time passed (albeit much more than the ScarJo pictures), the way he handled it actually helped him become more well-liked in this city. When we peeled back the curtain, we learned what we thought all along about Mitch: he was a fierce competitor and standup player, who took 100% accountability for his actions. That's how the ScarJo pics will play out: "Wow, even her nude cell phone pics are sensual, sexy, and shot in soft lighting?! I respect her!"
All of that said, Sarah Palin fucking Glen Rice in 1987 in Alaska is about as loony as it comes. I fully expected the first example of her promiscuity to be her sleeping with Mitt Romney in an Iowa hotel room. Glen Rice? Wow. She zagged. Palin in a landslide.*
*Trust me, if somehow blurry, Spice channel-lined video of this incident comes out, don't expect it to be anywhere near as innocent as ScarJo's pics. If I was a betting man, I'd put my money on at least three of the following five items being present: leather, batteries, a turtle, a rifle, or the shoe laces from Rice's size 15 Converses.
Roenick: Here’s the thing with “JR” (as he calls himself): That phone call yesterday was a whole bag of crazy, but - sort of like ScarJo (dammit! there’s my sports equivalent) - while he came off as perhaps a bit of a self-obsessed lunatic, his emotion was 100% real. I believe he was mis-quoted and taken out of context. You don’t call a blogger twice (sorry, you’re not going to hear the voicemail from last night) to defend yourself if you don’t care. He cares. There’s something to be said for that. I think he made it a bigger deal than it needed to be (he could have just waited for the 12 hour sports talk cycle to pass), but he stood up for himself. I respect him for that. He was keeping it real. Really real.
Crossing Broads: I won’t factor in the Tweets from both Schwimer and his girlfriend about spelling MS’s name incorrectly (really, rookie relievers with less followers than a blogger have no room to bitch about any free pub they receive). Mayberry’s mermaid would still win. Missy Coles, Schwimer’s girlfriend, is carrying a whole bag of assets, but Antoinette Nikprelaj might be the best looking “actress” in Hollywood, even if she is married. That picture of her can’t even be beat by a topless ScarJo.
Eagles line: That line is yelling at me. Falcons a 3-point dog at home? Eagles. Eagles all the way.
More likely to happen: Bring body armor... or a shield... if you go to the Palesta. I mean, what can go wrong when you put the sports’ best and richest players in an ill-equipped arena in front of zealous fans without NBA security?
This week’s Drinker’s challenge will take the form of our Draft Street free roll. It’s a one-week only fantasy football league. Win from $200 in cash prizes. Free to play. Signup here.
As always, our friends at Drinker’s Philadelphia sponsor this segment. Be sure to stop down tonight at any of their locations for amazing hot dogs and tacos during the Eagles game.
Spread: The Eagles are one-touchdown favorites this PM. They have a few things working in their favor: 1) They’re home, 2) you can expect them to be more focused for tonight’s game, and 3) there’s no possible way that can play that badly again. I got Birds, 33-15 (safety).
Bryz’s helmet: Today, we expect more images of Drummond Custom Airbrush’s version of Bryz’s helmet (the one with the Constitution). Presumably, Bryz will get to choose his favorite. It’s not even close- local version.
Phillies injuries: Absolutely worried. As has been the case all season long, the only thing that could derail the Phillies’ season is injuries. Thus far, they’ve been able to shrug off minor ailments to a number of key players. But now it’s stretch time. Our shortstop, J-Roll™, has a groin injury, an issue that is known to linger. Rollins’ game (both fielding and hitting) is predicated on speed, if he has a broken wheel for the rest of the season, that’s a very bad thing. Cole Hamels’ shoulder inflammation is seemingly a little worse than first thought. It’s most likely nothing, but if that lingers, you now have two of the four aces with questionable health (Oswalt back).
To make matters worse, the Phillies will likely miss out on Jim Thome, which means they’ll have to ride with Ross Gload and his geriatric hip for the rest of the season (Dom Brown sucks right now in the minors, so he’s probably not an option). And Ryan Howard has been quietly bothered by some heel pain.
Crossing Broads: Oh, Mother Russia, you never disappoint.
Yevgeniya is your classic athlete wife: a tall, buxom, blonde with headlights that would distract oncoming cars. Bob went a different route with his Mrs. Olga is brunette (I always er on the side of brunettes) and has just crazy enough eyes to say, “I’d fuck you at intermission if I could.” Add to that the intrigue of their Canadian rendezvous and her anticipated US citizenship, and you have 73% of the elements needed for a spy novel. I go Olga.
Bigger rival: Nationals. Reason from my Q & A with Mets Blog yesterday:
Baseball wise, our ire has been more directed at the Nationals this season. It’s mostly because ofJayson Werth, who is a lightning rod for local discussion, but also because of some comments from guys like Bryce Harper and our ability to flood their ballpark nine times a season. We’re mostly just laughing at the Mets right now.
More exciting: I was genuinely disappointed that I didn’t feel the earthquake. I spent the next six hours balancing straws on the kitchen table with tin foil on my head, just waiting for the first sign of an after shock. No such luck.
Hurricanes, of course, let us know they’re coming and put on a spectacular show of wind and destruction. They have a much longer window, so they probably win just for the sheer volume of footage we get out of them. That got me to thinking, though: Why don’t we name earthquakes?
Every Hurricane gets its own name. Earthquakes are fairly rare, the least we can do is give them an identifying moniker. But instead of using any old name, we give them mobster names (ya know, the whole shakedown thing). As such, I’d submit the following for this week’s quake: Portrait Petey, because all he did was knock a few photo frames off desks.
How has this not been implemented yet?
This week's Drinker's challenge: How many point do the Eagles score tonight? Winner gets a prize from Drinker's. Enter after the jump.
