He hit the net! He hit the net! Twice!!
I'm not sure what hurts more: my back from moving a house-full of furniture yesterday, or my soul from seeing Jeff Carter score a clutch goal to bring his team within two games of the Stanley Cup.
Think I'll go with my soul. Somewhere, Paul Holmgren hops on his bike-- this time, looking for potholes.
CB back in full tomorrow morning.
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There's a Sidney Crosby joke to be made here, but I won't do him like that-- because Malkin is! (pic via 96.1)
Welcome to the lovely city of Shittsburgh, where sewer pipes leak below PNC Park. Today, traffic was stopped while a bull and cow had sex in the middle of the road:
That's not anger, lady-- it's passion.
The sports story of the day in this fine town, though, is of one Yinzer, who is suing the Pittsburgh Penguins because they sent him two extra text alerts during one week in March.
For realsies.
The folks at Puck Daddy did a nice job of breaking the lawsuit down, but basically it goes like this:
A guy signed up for text alerts from the Penguins. He was told that there would be a maximum of three texts per week (reasonable), but got upset when, during the week of March 11, he received - brace yo’selves - five text messages. The following week? Four. HE RECEIVED THREE EXTRA TEXT MESSAGES IN TWO WEEKS. THE HORROR! Somewhere, a child dies of hunger, a man gets shot, an old lady gets plowed over by a bus, and a Pittsburghian has to check his cell phone. We’re doomed.
As the folks at Puck Daddy point out, there are explicit instructions on how to unsubscribe from the text alerts. But no, a lawsuit seemed like the better option.
Yinzers: looking for a way out since 1992.
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Photo: Getty
Known liar Paul Holmgren addressed rumors that Chris Pronger was retiring and moving to St. Louis. Speaking to the Inquirer’s Sam Carchidi yesterday, Holmgren said: [Philly.com]
“There’s no truth to him retiring,” Holmgren said.
Because of an illness in his wife’s family, the Prongers are apparently going to spend some time in St. Louis, Holmgren said.
Holmgren added that Pronger was still experiencing headaches.
The rumor of his retirement popped up on Twitter, when some, like this guy...
... saw moving trucks outside Pronger’s home in New Jersey. Moving for three months (or whatever some time is) doesn’t usually require a moving truck... but most of us aren’t millionaires and can’t afford to hire one to take Little Johnny’s PS3 and longboard on a comfy ride halfway across this vast expanse known as America.
Anyway, Homer says Pronger is not retiring and we’re not going to speculate further, for now. At some point this summer, an update on Pronger's concussion is going to be needed, though.
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Jaromir Jagr continued his blog on this Czech website over the holiday weekend and he had some interesting things to say about the end of the Flyers’ season and his future with the team. Not interesting in the ohhhh he threw this player under the bus way, but in a wow, that was candid sort of way.
Keep in mind, this is translated (I think), so some meaning gets lost:
On losing to the Devils:
I still can’t explain why we stopped skating, all of a sudden! Or why we were so weak, when everything had been ideal against Pittsburgh. I don’t understand at all how they could suddenly outplay us...
The matches were tight, but our overall performance was worse than theirs, that much is clear. Perhaps we had all been convinced we would win before the tie actually started. And that might also have been a problem.
None of our team had the drive and skating we had shown against Pittsburgh. The Devils’ players were much stronger at the boards, we were not helping each other and seemed to be scattered on the ice. It reminded me of a basketball match in which all of us are moving somewhere at the three-point line and wondering why we are unable to go after and snatch any rebound...
We were simply too dispersed. We were like a palm; they were like a fist. They were sticking together; we were like a hand with outstretched fingers. We really were feeling desperate at that time.
On being injured:
As to myself, there were rumors regarding my injury. The fact is I did have problems with my thigh, it had happened during the last game against Pittsburgh, but then I had a week to get myself together. The thigh actually did not hurt that much during the games, so I don’t think I should use it as an excuse.
But the fact is I could not train so much, I attended perhaps one training session. And when a man of my age misses five or six training sessions, it is felt … Especially if you take into account the pace of play-off games. But there is no use to dwell on it; injuries are part of play-off games. I wasn’t the only one. However, there was another thing that struck me.
On his future with the Flyers:
As to my future, we’ll see which way the winds will blow. There’s no reason to hurry. I do not intend to make any keynote statements now. There is some situation now, but what if Philadelphia decides to sign other free agents to whom it will give more chances to play?
In that case, it wouldn’t make any sense for me to stay. It wouldn’t be good, either for me or for the Flyers. For the time being, what I have said still holds true – I would like to spend another year in the NHL. But let’s see what will happen. A lot will depend on the direction the Flyers will want to follow.
There was more, about how much fun he had and his playing time, which you can read here.
H/T to reader Matt
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Mike Richards with a familiar backdrop, via the Toronto Sun
How does Ed Snider feel about Mike Richards - once dubbed the next Bobby Clarke - and Jeff Carter playing for Lord Stanley’s Cup?
One associated press writer asked him: [Washington Post]
“It doesn’t make it bitter at all,” Flyers founder and owner Ed Snider said by phone from California on Tuesday. “Quite frankly, I think it’s more interesting to watch. I am very fond of Richards and Carter. I’d love to see them succeed. As far as Jersey is concerned, they beat us. If they win, at least we know we lost to the best.”
“I think we’re better off [following the trades],” Snider said, “but I’m not getting into details.”
I bet, Ed.
But are... they better off? Maybe. The Flyers have a bunch of young players that were very impressive this season, so it’s hard to argue with the long-term outlook. But, the reality is that Richards and Carter are young too, and had signed up to be Flyers for a long time. Richards has won at every level and helped lead the team to the Finals in 2010. Carter, while we joke about his clutch bone, is a substantial scoring threat, who at the very least garners the attention of defensemen. He hasn’t been great in the playoffs (nine points in 14 games), but the mid-season trade that sent him to the Kings seems to have given his new team just enough of a scoring boost to make the playoffs and win, oh, say, three rounds.
As such, it’s hard to argue with what’s going on in the real world-- Richards and Carter and John Stevens and Simon Gagne’s soupy melon and Ron Hextall and Justin Williams and Dean Lombardi, all former members of the organization, are playing for the Stanley Cup. The current Flyers? Hanging out P.J. Whelihan’s: [the picture is unnecessary, but really I was just looking for an excuse to use it]
Pic via reader Marc, taken last week
Richards and Carter, who were quite broken up about the trades last summer, seem to be just fine with things now. Here’s what Richards told reporters at yesterday’s Stanley Cup media day:
“We were pretty mad. I’m not going to lie,” Richards said at Stanley Cup media day. “It’s something I’ve never had before. I’ve never been traded. Jeff has never been traded. For us to be traded at the same time I think was a lot of venting to each other.”
“Like I said, everything happens for a reason. If that was the path that was intended for us, that’s great.”
Excuse me while I remove this twisted knife...
Anyway, all of the quotes you’ve read thus far in this post have been expected. But here’s one that wasn’t-- Snider on the subject of satisfaction, or whatever you want to call it:
“It’s not so great for someone like me, when we work our butt off and we think we’re in a position to win and we don’t,” Snider said. “But at least we’re competitive every year. A lot of teams in the last three years would have liked to have gone to the finals once and the second round twice. I’m not saying we’re satisfied with that, but it’s certainly not failure.”
Some have been known to call that a Gold Standard.
More: Washington Post
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The Stanley Cup Finals start tomorrow night in New Jersey, where Mike Richards and Jeff Carter will take the ice... wearing Kings jerseys. But you, O and B blood-typed Philadelphian, can rejoice in knowing that Claude Giroux has defeated Evgeni Malkin in NHL 13 cover voting.
That means G will go up against against Pekka Rinne in the finals. You’ll have from now until June 4 to vote for Giroux to grace the cover of the EA Sports game.
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For a while now, we’ve been chronicling Scott Hartnell’s adventures thanks to a promotion with Blackberry and the NHLPA.
Today, Hartnell tweeted out a link to his latest two videos, Scott Hartnell’s World of Wildlife. It’s mostly several minutes of Hartnell overload, but features a delightful (and presumably friendly but oh-so-perfect) shot at Matt Carle, cast as a pylon in these videos. Of course, the pylon displayed better situational awareness than the Flyers defenseman. Behold:
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More pictures from Claude Giroux's weekend surface, pic via (@seanc283)
As we limp into this holiday weekend, here’s your near-daily reminder to vote for the NHL's leading playoff scorer (still), Claude Giroux, for the NHL 13 cover. He’s in the semifinals now, against Evgeni Malkin, so that means that legions of jobless Yinzers will be stuffing the ballot box. Vote for G, because nobody wants this:
Pic via reader Kelly
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And yes, that is a 30-inch high inflatable Smirnoff bottle in the corner
We’ve discovered more pictures from Claude Giroux’s weekend.
Following some Baggo at the North Shore Swim Club in Northern Liberties on Saturday and mugging with John Bolaris ex-Playboy girlfriend, Erica Smitheman, on Sunday, G continued the party at his house, where he smoked this girl in beer pong:
We’ll let Alexandra (@alexanndra) explain her night:
Yeah, no shit he does, Santino. Crushing at beer pong despite sizable post-op casts on both wrists? Ginger strong.
It was Giroux's second night in a row playing beer pong with the locals, it seems. This Tweet, 24 hours earlier:
Somewhere, Paul Holmgren prepares his musket. DON'T SHOOT, PAUL! DON'T SHOOT!
H/T to commenters and (@ENighti) for the heads up
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Claude Giroux continued on his post-surgery party circuit when he went to the WMMR concert yesterday. Here he is photographed with John Bolaris’ girlfriend, whose boobs, I’m guessing, are not real.
You might think we’re getting on Giroux by posting pictures of him at a bar, playing Baggo, and attending concerts with former local weather men, but really we’re just looking for an excuse to tell you to vote for him for the NHL 13 cover.
Of course, if we keep posting pictures of G drinking, there's a chance that Paul Holmgren might trade him to next year's Stanley Cup winner. So perhaps we'll stop.
Second pic via 10-time all-star CB reader (@DXFlyers)
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Yep.
What you are staring at is a picture of a shirtless Claude Giroux, taken on Saturday, in perhaps the most hipster scenario on Earth: playing Baggo at the North Shore Swim Club in Northern Liberties.
The best hockey player in the world is wearing a cast on each wrist following two minor procedures. His physique is mildly disappointing, somewhere between post-surgery muscle atrophy and I've been drinking since Brendan Shanahan suspended me for the final game of my best season ever. Closer to the latter, I'd say.
G was also spotted earlier this week at the Pour House in Westmont, NJ, and outside PBR at Xfinity Live! last night. So he seems to be enjoying his elongated offseason.
Awkwardly, this is the second shirtless athlete post in less than 24 hours, which means a "you don't cover the Sixers enough, you incompetent prick" comment is only moments away. To which I say: "a partially cloaked Claude Giroux picture just surfaced and you better be damn sure that I'm going to drop whatever it is I'm doing at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday to post it... so fuck off."
Also, you're welcome, ladies.
Thanks to 97.5's Sean Brace (@seanbrace975) for the shirtless pic, which wins the award for my most ridiculous iPhone picture message popup, and reader Cody for the Xfintiy Live! pic.
Play our FREE one-night only fantasy baseball league on Friday night, win $300. Pick you team here. Takes two seconds.
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The Flyers released their list of offseason surgeries today. They are:
Wayne Simmonds – Had surgery to repair broken left index finger. Recovery time is 4-6 weeks.
Matt Carle – Had surgery to repair torn stomach muscle. Recovery time is 4-6 weeks.
Claude Giroux – Had surgery on his right wrist to repair torn cartilage and surgery on his left wrist to remove bone spurs. Recovery time is 6 weeks.
Kimmo Timonen – Will have surgery next week to remove a disc fragment from his lower back. Full recovery is expected in 8-10 weeks.
James van Riemsdyk – Will have surgery next week to repair a torn labrum in his right hip. Recovery time is 6 weeks.
The JVR one is the least surprising.
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