Crossing Broad

Your #askthebooth Questions That Didn't Make Air

This is also a bad idea

This weekend, the Phillies’ broadcast made its first foray into interactive television with its “Ask The Booth” segment.  The Phillies asked you, the viewer, to pose questions to T-Mac, Wheels, and Sarge. As expected, the results were disastrous.

I pity the production assistant who was tasked with combing through the litany of #askthebooth Tweets to find ones that were suitable for air, let alone coherent. Here are some that didn’t quite make the cut. As always, your Tweets are unedited.

 

JCSdesign82 Jim Schugsta 

@Phillies Is Tom McCarthy tired of saying "Pretty impressive stuff" over and over again? #askthebooth

 

Danny_Donaghy Dan Donaghy 

#askthebooth how does this work

 

@Chiccywood: How did Shakespeare In Love beat Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture? I mean, for serious. #askthebooth

 

PhilliesFever :D 

#askthebooth Have you ever met the Xfinity turtles?

 

tut_ ₪ 

@philaphillies What's the grossest thing you've ever seen Joe Blanton eat? Be honest. #AskTheBooth

 

bbonner71 Bob Bonner 

Have you ever caught Wheeler staring at Utley while he showered? #askthebooth

Continued Success: The Latest in Awkward Phillies Broadcaster Moments

Lost in the hysteria and fisticuffs of Friday night’s win against the Giants was outstanding late-inning filler from Tom McCarthy and Chris Wheeler (never mind the fact that according to Kevin Cooney, Giants broadcasters jokingly picked Muff as the Phillies broadcaster they would most like to fight- can't find video).

Let’s listen in on the ninth inning conversation between T-Mac and Wheels about Tim Lincecum, AT&T Park’s seagull problem, and then Sarge’s post-game interview with Vance Worley, in which he used a double continued success (!!!).

The Hinderburg had a more graceful implosion than what we just saw from Sarge.

The seagull issue T-Mac was talking about refers to seagulls that hover high above AT&T Park waiting for games to end. Once the final out is recorded, the seagulls descend upon the field in a scene straight out of an Alfred Hitchcock film. The proposed solution? Falcons.

The Giants are considering hiring the same company to deploy trained falcons or hawks at the ballpark during games, Costa said. He said the team is also investigating whether it can attract a pair of peregrine falcons to nest at the ballpark. 

Falconry is a hunting sport that normally involves hungry raptors. Commercial falconers, however, use well-fed hawks and falcons to frighten birds away from airports, dumps and farms, not kill them.

Several falconers could be used at Giants home games, and the team plans to decide in the coming months whether it would be worth spending up to the $100,000 — and perhaps even more — needed annually for the effort.

 

Yeah that’s just great. Who needs annoying seagulls when you can have angry fucking falcons flying above the heads of 50,000 fans. I think I’ll take my chances with the overzealous shore birds. Thanks, though.

Chris Wheeler Shows Tom McCarthy How It's Done

As if the game wasn't weird enough, Chris Wheeler took it to a whole new level.

When trying to answer the night's trivia question, Wheels couldn't remember the name of the answer (Pedro Astacio), but he certainly could recall the movement he did on the mound.

Are we sure this was on the mound?

The .gif is after the jump.

The One in Which We Give Credit to Chris Wheeler

Gasp.

Last night, just before Cole Hamels hit his triple off the top of the wall, Chris Wheeler pretty much predicted success at the plate for Hamels. You be the judge.

Wheels: Very few guys get real good swings off Livan Hernandez when he’s on. You have no idea what’s coming or what location it’s going to be in or any idea of the speed. And he’s below Major League speed, really, when he throws his fastball, kind of like Chris Young was on Sunday night. I was thinking the guy that had the best chance to get a hit on Sunday night was Lee.

T-Mac: - Chris Griffin laugh - He hit it pretty hard, too, that one time... [Thanks, T-Mac]

Wheels: That’s a good speed for a pitcher.

 

Hamels then ripped an 85 M.P.H. fastball for a triple, proving that, despite his incessant prattling, Wheels does know his stuff.

He then, of course, rubbed it in our faces:

Perfect speed for a pitcher, these guys. See, the hitters can't hit these guys, because they don't throw hard enough. But the pitchers, that speed is just perfect for them. 

 

OK, we get it. Good job, Chris.

We said all along that Hamels was going to be first guy to hit a home run for the Phillies.

 

WE GET IT. 

- Safe and Secure with New York Life -

Just like with Lee the other night off Chris Young, it’s just the perfect speed for a pitcher. Whereas if you’re an everyday major league player, that fastball, it’s too slow.

 

SHUT UP! Screw this post. Drink 10.

Audio after the jump. WARNING! Irksome.

And Now, Awkward Moments in Wheels' Trivia Answers

Tricky Dick!

H/T to reader J.T. Toner for the tip, as my three Captain and Cokes, garlic parm wings, and bbq chicken put me to sleep somewhere around the 5th inning. Blogger fail.

When Chris Wheeler Jokes Go Bad

Heh..... heh...

To be fair, Chris Wheeler jokes are always acceptable, and T-Mac has stepped up his game this year. The wind reference is excellent. Chris Wheeler loves wind.

[Related: Chris Wheeler drinking game]

Video after the jump.

Introducing The Chris Wheeler Drinking Game

Oh boy. This is neat.

We are just hours away from the start of the 2011 Phillies season, a year in which the team will have the Four Aces taking the mound for the next seven months. That's a long time. Baseball serves as the background (or soundtrack) to our lives. Whether it's week nights with the screen door open or summer evenings at the shore, you can count on the Phillies game being on your (and my) television. That has happened for years.

There are many variables. The players change, the channels change, the opponents change. But one thing - one person - remains a constant: Chris Wheeler.

Oh yes, we're about to step shit up. We have elevated our Muffin coverage. Ladies and gentlemen, the Chris Wheeler drinking game. We're standardizing a set of rules for all to abide by. 

From time to time during the season, we will live blog games for the sole purpose of keeping score. But you can play anytime. Print out these rules. Post them in your dorm room, on your fridge, or, hell, if you have a drinking problem, at your desk. Put them in your pocket, save them to your phone, bring them to the beach. Whatever you please.

Just stay thirsty, my friends.

The rules:

This game is meant to be played with beer or mixed drinks. If you want to play with shots, vixen, that's on you. Every time Chris Wheeler mentions one of these phrases, you must drink the amount listed.

Where "context" is noted, Wheels may not say the exact phrase, but you'll know when to drink. There are two wildcards from T-Mac and Sarge for you to look-out for. You are expected to take a break during the middle innings when Wheels goes to radio. But if you're hardcore, change over and keep playing. No italics denotes a situation.

Here we go.

Shut Up Wheels: Fear of Roller Coasters

Ah yes, spring is in the air. The sweet smell of flowers in bloom, the playful way that the ladies tease us with their short skirts as if to say "There's more, but you have to buy me a Cherry-Chocoolate Gelati first", and the sound of an annoying announcer explaining to us his fear of roller coasters and the new baseball terms he learned this winter.

That's right, folks. Shut Up Wheels is back.

It seems everyone's favorite broadcaster, Chris Wheeler, has learned some choice phrases this offseason. We can now look forward to lengthy discussions ramblings about "lifting and separating" and "ambushing a pitcher." That second term essentially means that batters swing at first-pitch strikes. But Wheels will explain that to you every time someone gets a first-pitch hit off one of the Four Aces. Ah spring.

These are just two of the terms we will include in our live-blog drinking game this year: Going Middle-In with Wheels. More on that soon.

For now, you can listen to Wheels discuss his fear of roller coasters... after the jump.

Taking suggestions in our comments sections for terms to include in the drinking game- already have middle-in (obvs), away away away (3 swigs), good lookin' young player (chug), ambush (one, quick swig, duh), lift and separate (pour it in), goofy (from the side), no doubles defense (two swigs), etc.

Hop it.

Shut Up Wheels: Chris Wheeler Doesn't Know What The Internet Is

Listen to Chris Wheeler encouraging T-Mac to look something up.  We routinely hear Wheeler get puzzled over Twitter, but not knowing Google??

How this man survies, I will never know.  Click the link, it won't download, play in another window.

Wheels

Shut Up Wheels: Chris Wheeler Meets a Lady

If you just cup it like so...

No doubt Tom McCarthy is doing his Chris Griffin laugh as he gestures towards the object of Muff's lust.

Check out the wave- beyond creepy.  There's a lip lick in there too.  Just bring her humus, Chris.

Video after the jump.

Little T-Mac's Elbow Causes Bloody Ears

Tom McCarthy stayed at home last night to be with his son while he was having surgery on a torn tendon he suffered in a little league game on Tuesday. That meant the game was sort of a catch-22 from an announcing perspective.  On one hand you were excited that there was going to be nine innings of Sarge, on the other, there was the painful realization that you would have to put up with an equal number of innings of Chris Wheeler doing play-by-play.  

It was like dry humping in a park- exciting and new, but ultimately painful and awkward.

I received a lot of reader feedback about having to put up with Wheels' whiny voice for three hours:

f my ears. not gonna lie, wheeler doing play by play is worse than wheeler doing color. i want to kill myself.

if i ever have to listen to wheeler call play by play ever again i may harm myself. and others.

Well, you have your next Shut Up, Wheels segment. This whole game! PS- The sun sets in the west. Another great pearl of wisdom from Wheels

wheeler is trying not to spill his diet sprite on his new tyler colvin cubs jersey in the booth.

is left field waveland or sheffield? It hasn't been mentioned enough.

i'm not sure i heard sarge say much more than his usual "oh boy" that he likes to say after anything the play by play guy says no matter who it is or what he says. it was just 9 innings of complete awkwardness.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm almost looking forward to TMac coming baaaaaaack tonight.

Video courtesy of the fine folks at Where's Weems, who stole it from MLB.

Shane Victorino Has a Ridiculous Ride

So, if I asked you which Phillie would have the largest, most ridiculous, barely street legal ride, you probably would have guessed Shane Victorino right?

Perhaps a case of little man's syndrome...

More pics after the jump, and Scott Franzke's broken down truck.