Tag: cheerleader

Apparently This Girl is Too Much of a Jealous Bitch to be a CBS Blogger

Screen Shot 2013-04-29 at 2.20.06 PMThe anonymous blogger who wondered if this Thunder cheerleader was too fat for her job got fired from CBS Houston:

We have an update on the Houston blogger who called an NBA cheerleader “too chunky” to cheer. She’s been told hit the road by CBS.

The former CBS sports blogger known as Claire Crawford came under scrutiny after she targeted Oklahoma City Thunder cheerleader Kelsey Williams. Crawford posted a blog criticizing Williams’ physique and a subsequent poll questioning readers if they also thought she was too chunky to cheer.

This is what happens when you don’t have an editor– you make fat jokes, use curse words, inject personal opinion into prose, present woefully one-sided accounts of a situation, pick on people from behind a computer screen despite your own glaring inadequacies, and act like a petulant asshole in general. Of course… if you do those things, it helps to not have a boss, who can fire you.

Coincidentally, this video aired on CBS national news today about people getting caught laughing at fat people. Continue reading

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The Eagles Let Awestruck Season Ticket Holders Judge Their 2012 Cheerleader Tryouts

Screen Shot 2012-03-29 at 5.06.42 PMThat girl… she's in her underwear

What is… this… a smart PR move from the Eagles?! 

Imagine getting this letter in the mail: 

Dear Football Fan, 

Thanks for being a great fan. We went 8-8 last year and our coach is fat, but we appreciate your support. As a valued season ticket holder, we would like to invite you down to the NovaCare Complex so you can watch partially-cloaked dancers vie for your votes to become a Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader. 

Thanks,  

The Eagles 

 

SIGN ME UP. 

That’s right, children, the Eagles allowed select season ticket holders to judge the semifinals of their 2012 cheerleading tryouts. 

There’s a video posted over on the Eagles’ website of the event (WARNING: Dave Spadaro ad kicks things off). The segment is hosted by what appears to be Thomas Drayton’s offspring. The best part (besides, you know, the young coeds vying for attention by shaking their asses) comes at the 43 second mark, when this guy tried to put his good fortune into words. YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?! WHERE’S THE RUB? OH… YEAH, THERE’S THE RUB. THAT FEELS NICE.

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Here’s what he really said: 

“She’s got to be good looking, obviously. And appealing to… people. And has to dance pretty well, I guess.”

 

Luckily, it doesn’t seem like the Dirty 30 was invited, because then we would probably be looking at 27 consecutive minutes of Mummers masturbating as frightened young dancers scramble to find pictures of Donovan McNabb.

Video here.

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The Eagles are Totally Going to Make You F^@&able (Be a Cheerleader!)

Eagles_cheerleaders


Heyyyy ladies!!!
Tired of struttin’ your stuff in front of just a FlipCam for upload to strippingvideos.tumblr.com?* Well, do we have a solution for you!

The Philadelphia Eagles are not only holding an open casting call for their 2012 cheerleading squad, but they’re also going to mold you to their liking before you ever show up for the tryout– sort of like the creepy theatre head from Black Swan who kissed and groped Natalie Portman's vaginé so he could bring out her inner black swan – and simultaneously give us all uncomfortable, is this supposed to be hot? boner – before putting her on stage.

Sort of like that.

*Serious time drain. You’re welcome.

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Per an Eagles press release:

 The Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders are beginning their search for the newest members of their elite NFL squad with the 2012 Pre-Audition Workshops, which will help prospective cheerleaders prepare for the Open Call Auditions.

The Mock Audition, Beauty and Fitness Workshop is being held on Tuesday, March 6, 2012 from 6:00 PM – 10:00 PM at Lincoln Financial Field inside the SCA Club. Participants will have the opportunity to participate in a mock audition with the Eagles Director of Cheerleading, Barbara Zaun. Workshop participants will also learn the actual audition routine that they will perform during the Open Call Audition. Additionally, they will receive a consultation from hair and make-up experts and learn fitness & nutrition tips from personal trainers. Those who attend the workshop will also have the opportunity to meet with members of the 2012 Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleading Squad to gain their advice on auditioning successfully as well as learning about their experiences as an NFL cheerleader

 

Translation: We’ll show you how much weight you’ll need to lose and how to do it. Then we’ll introduce you to current cheerleaders, who will tell you that you may or may not be expected to fuck Ryan Howard.

The Dance Prep Workshop is being held on Wednesday, March 14, 2012 from 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM. It was designed specifically for women who are interested in auditioning that would like to get more acquainted with the Eagles Cheerleaders style of choreography. The workshop will be conducted in the same format as the 3 hour rehearsals that the Eagles Cheerleaders attend year round.

 

Translation: Trust me, we’re going to weed out the crap and check to make sure you’re working to drop those previously mentioned LBs before we ever get to the real audition. 

Each of these sessions costs only $45. But the Eagles will cut you a break when they train and size you up to maybe or maybe not work for them by offering you both sessions for the low, low price of $75.

Details about the actual tryout are after the jump. Good luck, my princess!

Continue reading

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Michael Vick Almost Kills a Cheerleader, Apologizes

After running out of bounds in the the third quarter, Mike Vick kicked a loose ball on the Redskins' sideline. Fortunately, it just missed killing a cheerleader. Vick's heart skipped a beat.

Vick's fiancée got a laugh out of it:

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After the game, Vick apologized:

I'm sorry for the play that I made on the sideline. I kicked the ball, it was very inappropriate to kick the ball. I'm sorry about that, apologize to the cheerleaders, that was a very bad gesture, and I can't let my emotions get the best of me. So, sorry to the Redskins' cheerleaders, I didn't mean to offend anybody.

 

Insert Marcia Brady joke… here!

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Video: Eagles Cheerleader Eats Cupcakes in Her Underwear

Eagles cheerleader Stephanie Smith was featured today on Esquire's Me in My Place: A series of intimate moments with beautiful women. Intimate moments… like eating cupcakes in her underwear and spontaneously rolling around her bed in an Eagles cheerleader outfit. This video confirms everything we thought we knew about what cheerleaders do in their spare time. I was half-expecting her to stand in front of the mirror and stare at herself for about seven-to-nine minutes, because they do that, right? Right?!

Anyway, Goooo Monday!

Butt slap to Bleeding Green Nation for the link

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