So this might complement my creepy wardrobe.
Some guy in North Philly, probably on behalf of enema-filled criminal Don Tollefson, is selling Tollie’s “NFL, Eagles, coats, jackets, etc.” on Craigslist and seeks an individual buyer for around $10k:
All sizes in stock. Looking to unload them all to one buyer if possible this Sunday. Bring 10 grand + I have that many to unload. Shirts, lids, and vintage baseball cards too. Stay away if your going to low-ball.
Email me your name, address, and phone number for consideration. This is a Collection of a well-known celebrity I need to unload NOW. Hint….think tv newscaster and you should be able to figure it out. He is in jail and needs to raise money.
I will delete this ad when I pick the party I will meet this Sunday for this private one on one sale. So if you see it this ad, Im still looking for the right one to meet and You will be screened first.
– checks wallet… calls wife to make sure there are no plans for Sunday… asks what she thinks about her man, potentially carrying a goddamn frightening Santa, in oversized sports apparel worn by a criminal who slept with his mother until he was of legal drinking age… reaches out to seller to begin the negotiation –
$7. I’ll pay $7.
No but seriously, if you show up in North Philadelphia on a Sunday afternoon carrying $10,000 to buy Tollie’s gross hand-me-downs, you might as well just save yourself the aggravation and off yourself. At least you’ll get to choose the method.
UPDATE: Just got the following text from my mom. Glad she’s reading:
H/T to reader Casey