Tag: wife (page 1 of 3)

Hey, Let’s Make Fun of the Knicks

Screen Shot 2013-05-02 at 9.27.59 AMSince there are no playoffs to talk about here (and won’t be for a record-setting nearly two years), we’ll just talk about other playoff series, in other cities. Not ours. Other cities. Especially when New York has a bad night.

What would Carmelo Anthony and the New York Knicks know about pressure? Well they have kissed a man… wait, no, but Kevin Garnett apparently fucked Carmelo’s wife, so that’s close enough. That’s pressure. So is a tightening series lead. And the Knicks are beginning to buckle under it… or on top of it… or maybe both.

Trying to make a statement that it was time to put away the Celtics – the team from Boston, where four people died as a result of a terrorist attack, mind you – the Knicks, holding a 3-1 lead, wore black to the arena for Game 5 last night because… it was time for the Celtics’ funeral. Besides that being wildly insensitive, it was also wildly inaccurate– they wound up losing, 92-86. In the process, Jordan Crawford told Carmelo about that motherfucker fucking his wife:

via CelticsLife.com

KG. He was talking about Garnett, who, in January, told Melo that his “wife tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios.”

Here’s what I want to know: does this happen in all sports? Athletes run and bump in the same circles. People like Gina Lynn have run the gamut from Scottie Upshall to Dan Uggla to, perhaps, Shane Victorino. Players have to go up against snowballed partners all the time. Like, there has to be some unwritten rule here, right? RIGHT?! Otherwise there’s no way we would have civility in sports. Eventually Kobe is going to allegedly rape some journeyman swing man’s wife or daughter. Scott Hartnell and Joffrey Lupul had to have swapped women at one point. And LeSean McCoy’s baby mama had to have called Osi Umenyiora by now. How do we not hear about this more often?

Anyway, nice work by the Celtics, at the very least they forced a Game 6 in Boston, and if the Knicks wear black up there, every first responder in Beantown should get a crack at digging their gun into La La’s hip… if they haven’t already.

Nobody can say no.

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Scott Hartnell Enters Alimony Tweeting Game (!!!)

Screen Shot 2013-04-01 at 3.09.21 PMYES. And I mean, YES! Scott Hartnell has taken a page from the LeSean McCoy book of social media, and it’s bound to bring glorious things.

If you are unawares, Hartnell and his ex-wife, Lisa Renneke, had a bit of a nasty divorce. And now, it would seem, Hartnell is done paying Renneke for being married to a hockey player. He tweeted this, and it was awesome:

https://twitter.com/Hartsy19/status/318790055936278529

Not since McCoy called his BM “worthless” have we seen such online carnage as the result of a failed union between a slut and an athlete. Kudos to Hartsy for landing a direct blow on the teet of gold-digging. Now if only he had cracked a joke about that whole Jeff Carter rumor… then we really would have stood and applauded. Or I would have, at least.

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Ex-Penn Basketball Star Killed by His Wife for Watching Porno

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From Philly.com:

According to the records, Garcia-Pellon went in the kitchen in the couple's home on the 800 block of Parkridge Drive, sometime around midnight. There, she retrieved a glass of water and two knives.

She returned to the bedroom and slipped the knives under her side of the bed. She took one of the knives out as her husband was asleep.

She stabbed him in the neck, the records allege.

Garcia-Pellon then changed her clothes and left the house. She went to the home of a friend and told her White had allegedly been viewing pornography on a computer and she killed him, the records state.

The friend called 911.

"I caught him looking at pornography, young girls, I love kids," Garcia-Pellon told investigators. "I had to do it."

White was starting center in 1979 when Penn made it to the Final Four of the NCAA basketball championship.

White played for the varsity team from 1976 to 1979. He holds the school record for field goal percentage among players with a minimum of 250 made field goals.

 

Wait. She killed her husband for watching porn? [rolls over, goes willingly] Two things:

1) Um, can you blame him?

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2) How young were the girls? Like, was it one of those barely legal, they are totally 18 just trust us this is their first time despite that gaping vacancy pornos, where the girls are ostensibly of age and there are all sorts of disclaimers and shit and was Jordan Capri in it because that chick is totally 30 and has been doing this for years? Or was this real, honest-to-goodness kiddie porn? Because it makes a difference. 

Still, knifing your husband is a bit much. Perhaps call 911. Or get a divorce. Or out him to a certain local sports blog that will blog about things barely related to current local sports. I think there’s a happy medium there. Nope– just killed him. There’s always weird shit going on with UPenn folks. Too smart for their own good. Should have gone to Villanova… where the basketball arena was named after a murderer. Never mind.

Screen grabs via 6 ABC

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Rex Ryan Has a Tattoo of His Wife Wearing Only a Mark Sanchez Jersey

Screen Shot 2013-01-04 at 9.26.32 AMPhoto: NY Daily News

Rex Ryan may very well have licked his wife’s toes while she was wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey.

This picture, which you will see everywhere today, is of Ryan on vacation in the Bahamas earlier this week. We’ll call your attention to his right arm, where two tattoos adorn the meaty mass. One is of a shamrock and contains the names of Ryan’s wife, Michelle, and kids. The other… is of Michelle wearing nothing but a Mark Sanchez jersey and beckoning for you to do dirty things to her (and perhaps her feet). It also appears that she could be Tebowing, which would be the hot-opposite of this porn star doing a Naked Tebow (NSFW!).

It will take an army of psychologists to deconstruct the meaning behind an oft-maligned NFL head coach having a tattoo of his wife, with whom he enjoys a foot fetish, wearing only the jersey of his oft-maligned quarterback. But, Ryan and his wife seem like they are crazy about each other, so there’s certainly something to be said for that. Saying it with that tattoo… well, that’s weird. 

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Jason Babin’s Wife and Reuben Frank Exchanged Twitter Jabs Last Night

Screen Shot 2012-10-08 at 11.19.41 AMI feel his pressure. I don't know if it's on the quarterback, but, ahhmmm! I feel it.

I’m not sure how this started, or why. But here’s what we know: At around 10 p.m. last night, when most of us were tuned in to Sunday Night Football or the Phillies MLB Playoffs, CSN’s Reuben Frank and Jason Babin’s defensive wife, Sara, exchanged a few shots on Twitter.

Unless there was a Tweet deleted somewhere along the way, it seemingly started when Sara took exception to something Frank wrote about Jason and his defensive line mates. Perhaps this, a confusing retweet questioning Babin and Trent Cole: [Frank only wrote "we have been"] 

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Or this, in his article about the Eagles defensive line failing them:

The Eagles’ biggest disappointment has been the absolute inability of this highly-touted defensive line to take over football games. To take quarterbacks out of their comfort zone. To get to quarterbacks and sack them. It cost them again Sunday. Zero pressure. Zero pressure early, zero pressure late. 

 

Whatever it was, Sara didn’t take kindly to the mild – and fair – criticism of her husband, who has two and a half sacks in five games. She tweeted at Frank (which was later favorited by her husband):


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Nice, invoking the woman thing and (incorrectly) accusing Grilled Reuben of not knowing much about football.

Frank, always fiery, um, fired back. Twice:

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Screen Shot 2012-10-08 at 11.38.44 AM

That’s all. Show’s over. But Sara seemed completely out of line and overly sensitive about what I thought was a fair critique– if the Eagles are only going to rush four and refuse to blitz, then Babin et al. need to step it up a bit.

Of course, it’s not the first time the Babins have gotten all butt-hurt over something written on the interwebtuals. Last year, Jason, his PR person and myself went back and forth over Babin’s whining about guaranteed contracts. Babin couldn’t understand why the common folk were irked by his irrational insistence that NFL players needed job security, something that almost no other profession offers. That squabble is over now, so no sense in rehashing it. But we’ll continue to wish that the Babins would just stop being so sensitive… and, you know, maybe sack someone.

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Juan Pierre Attributes Speed to Usain Bolt, Does Post-Game Interview in Wife Beater

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Juan Pierre is so fucking throwback.

Everything about him is old-school: his baggy uniform, the hat-under-helmet thing, and his slap-the-ball-the-other way style of hitting. So, yesterday, when he legged out a Cool Papa Bell single to give the Phillies their third win of the season, it wasn't a surprise that he did his post-game interview in a wife beater:

Is it just me or does Pierre look a lot of J.B. Smooth’s Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm? When Pierre jokingly gave credit to Usain Bolt for his 90-foot, game-winning sprint, saying that he was inspired by the Jamaican sprinter's final leg of the 4 x 100 relay, all I heard was: That fucker fast, Larry. I see that motherfucker and I just wanna haul ass down that motherfuckin' line. You can’t do that shit half-speed. Fuck Furcal. Usain Bolted that motherfucker, Larry.

Of course, you only hear that once you're able to block out the Dom Brown dong watch going on in the background.

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Shane Victorino and His Wife Aren’t Quite on the Same Page, it Seems

image from mobilwi.typepad.com
Doh. We’re not going to make a joke about Shane Victorino and his wife not always being in tune (we’ll leave that to the commenters), but their plans for the future – next year – may differ. Slightly.

Because he looooves speaking to the media, Shane Victorino told ESPN Los Angeles that after spending, like, six days in LA (and seeing the hard bodies at the US Open of Surfing), he wants to remain on the Left Coast forever. For. Ev. Er.

image from mobilwi.typepad.com

[ESPN.com]

"I don't want to just be a two-month or three-month rental," Victorino said. "I want to be here."

"Don't get me wrong. I still miss Philly and I still miss everything about that place, but now that this chapter has come into play, there are a lot of other things I look at," Victorino said. "I'd love to stay here for the next however many years and win one here."

 

Ouch. That was like reading a transcript of an ex-girlfriend's nooner with Ryan Lochte– ohhh, ahhh, ohhhmagodyesyesyesforgetkyleyouresogreat… always letting the other person finish first.

Back to our story.

On the opposite coast, Melissa Victorino attended a luncheon at the Borgata. Our friend Dan Gross relays what was said: [Philly.com]

Victorino was emotional as she spoke with her friends about moving to Los Angeles, where her husband now plays for the Dodgers. She pledged that the Shane Victorino Foundation would continue its charitable doings in the Philly area.

Victorino added that "Shane will be a free agent after the season, and you never know what Ruben [Amaro Jr.] has up his sleeve. We might be back here." 

 

Now, we wouldn’t expect either party to say otherwise. Shane is trying to win over local fans and is part of an organization in a good location, with a good team, and with GOBS of money. Of course he wants to stay in LA (plus, you know, surfing people).  

Melissa, on the other hand, was speaking to local friends and supporters, and, as we’ve learned with Kristen Lee, wives taken longer to move on since they have more time to establish ties in the community, do charity work… and eat at the Capital Grille. 

Whatever the case, there’s about a .02% chance the Phillies even entertain the idea of bringing Victorino back. They’ve turned the page. Moved on. Are retooling (though there’s a fuzzy and sometimes indistinguishable line between retooling and rebuilding).

Anyway, Victo may want to call his wife, maybe.

H/T to (@JBer89)

50 Comments

Your Lukewarm Stove News: Thome Removes Gum, Boras Campaigns for Madson, Rollins Now Referring to Phillies in Third Person

Thome_wife_gum
That there is Jim Thome handing his wife his – chewed – gum as he walked into yesterday’s, "you know", press conference.

Scott Boras said that he and the Phillies have had "good dialogue" thus far on Madson. He also verbally stroked Ruben Amaro by way of Jim Salisbury: [CSN Philly]

“I really don’t want to talk specifics of negotiations,” he said. “But I think clubs understand they have to compete, so a policy like that surrounds the value of the player. They gave Cliff Lee a five-year contract at age 32 last year and that turned out to be a good decision. I think Ruben Amaro has had a good run in decision-making. [Hunter] Pence and Cliff Lee were very solid moves on his part.”

 

Boras is a master of message. He could make Jayson Werth look like a $126 million player…

Oh. Never mind.

The Phillies continue to have an extreme hard-on for Michael Cuddyer, whom Thome called one of his "top five teammates ever": [MLB Trade Rumors]

One official told Olney that the Phillies' interest in  Michael Cuddyer is so ardent that if wants to play with the Phillies, the deal is inevitable as the club will make it happen.  The expectation within the industry is that the veteran will get at least a three-year deal.

 

Also of note: Jimmy Rollins refused to refer to the Phillies as “us” on Twitter. Semantics to the nth degree, but telling nonetheless.

Screen Shot 2011-11-06 at 1.32.52 PMCarry on.

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