He hit the net! He hit the net! Twice!!
I'm not sure what hurts more: my back from moving a house-full of furniture yesterday, or my soul from seeing Jeff Carter score a clutch goal to bring his team within two games of the Stanley Cup.
Think I'll go with my soul. Somewhere, Paul Holmgren hops on his bike-- this time, looking for potholes.
CB back in full tomorrow morning.
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There's a Sidney Crosby joke to be made here, but I won't do him like that-- because Malkin is! (pic via 96.1)
Welcome to the lovely city of Shittsburgh, where sewer pipes leak below PNC Park. Today, traffic was stopped while a bull and cow had sex in the middle of the road:
That's not anger, lady-- it's passion.
The sports story of the day in this fine town, though, is of one Yinzer, who is suing the Pittsburgh Penguins because they sent him two extra text alerts during one week in March.
For realsies.
The folks at Puck Daddy did a nice job of breaking the lawsuit down, but basically it goes like this:
A guy signed up for text alerts from the Penguins. He was told that there would be a maximum of three texts per week (reasonable), but got upset when, during the week of March 11, he received - brace yo’selves - five text messages. The following week? Four. HE RECEIVED THREE EXTRA TEXT MESSAGES IN TWO WEEKS. THE HORROR! Somewhere, a child dies of hunger, a man gets shot, an old lady gets plowed over by a bus, and a Pittsburghian has to check his cell phone. We’re doomed.
As the folks at Puck Daddy point out, there are explicit instructions on how to unsubscribe from the text alerts. But no, a lawsuit seemed like the better option.
Yinzers: looking for a way out since 1992.
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Photo: Getty
Known liar Paul Holmgren addressed rumors that Chris Pronger was retiring and moving to St. Louis. Speaking to the Inquirer’s Sam Carchidi yesterday, Holmgren said: [Philly.com]
“There’s no truth to him retiring,” Holmgren said.
Because of an illness in his wife’s family, the Prongers are apparently going to spend some time in St. Louis, Holmgren said.
Holmgren added that Pronger was still experiencing headaches.
The rumor of his retirement popped up on Twitter, when some, like this guy...
... saw moving trucks outside Pronger’s home in New Jersey. Moving for three months (or whatever some time is) doesn’t usually require a moving truck... but most of us aren’t millionaires and can’t afford to hire one to take Little Johnny’s PS3 and longboard on a comfy ride halfway across this vast expanse known as America.
Anyway, Homer says Pronger is not retiring and we’re not going to speculate further, for now. At some point this summer, an update on Pronger's concussion is going to be needed, though.
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All was quiet in the land of the injured yesterday-- the Phillies were off. But, in the evening, Hunter Pence held his Let’s Go Eat: Food and Fun Fest on the Moooooshoooelouuu (as he calls it).
Our friends from La Salle TV’s SportsTalk Philadelphia were on hand and sent along some footage from the event, which includes Pence, Hamels, Victorino, and Ruben Amaro playing ping pong.
Funny thing about Amaro’s ping pong game: after a few volleys with the little white balls, he gets really pissed off if his opponent doesn’t return to him a gigantic softball, two baseballs, a ping pong ball to be named later, and cash considerations. After years of trading with Ed Wade, Amaro just assumes this is how life works.*
*Jokes, here all week.
Thankfully, NBC 10's Jillian Mele was there and posted pictures on her Twitter. Ayla Brown sighting, too:
One question: Where is Sheena Parveen and WHY IS SHE NOT IN THESE PHOTOS?!!
Nice work by Hunter, though. The event looked like a real home run.
Semis:
- Amaro said nothing about the injuries last night.
- Received some photos in the mail yesterday from the Home Runs For Heart Media Day. That’s me on the right-- eyes on the ball, arms extended, hips cleared. Our “style editor,” Dan Fuller, is on the left. He, um, looks like he’s trying to shovel dirt with a golf club. Nice hat, though.
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Email from reader Michael:
I've got a question for you, Kyle. Seeing as you are probably the biggest Cliff Lee nut hugger out there, while simultaneously pointing out each and every one of Bryzgalov's shortcomings, I'd like to know something...
Riddle me this, riddle me that, why does Cliff Lee continuously get a free pass, while Bryzgalov continuously gets the shaft?
Let me be the first to admit that I love Cliff Lee. But let's face it, besides a solid run in the '09 playoffs and an impressive shutout streak, Cliff Lee hasn't really done anything spectacular while being a Phillie even though he gets paid money by the boatload. I believe he is set make $21.5 million this year (roughly 14% of the Phillies 2012 payroll) and has yet to win a single game. Granted, he's pitched well enough to win some of his starts but his team hasn't produced runs that well when he pitches. Perhaps most important though, one could easily argue that he actually cost the Phillies the series against the Cardinals last year when he blew a 4 run lead.
Let's see how that compares to Bryzgalov...
Let me be the first to admit that I am a big fan of Bryzgalov's, who is praying that typical Philly douchebags (see: YOU) don't run him out of town before he reaches his potential in the orange and black. However, other than a franchise record shutout streak and single-handedly carrying the Flyers through March, the rest of Bryzgalov's first year as a Flyer was rather unremarkable. His GAA and Save Percentage weren't bad but weren't great either, yet still managed to stack an impressive amount of wins. Monetarily speaking, compared to Cliff Lee, Bryzgalov made $10 million this year (Roughly 16% of the Flyers 2011-12 payroll). Some of the games he played like dirt and the Flyers lost. Yet some of the games (especially the playoffs) he played well enough to win but his team let him down with defensive mishaps and lazy, uninspired play, but regardless, I don't think anyone can blame the Flyers' early exit on Bryzgalov.
So why does Cliff Lee get a free pass?
This nonsense doesn’t even deserve a response... but I gave it a line-by-line breakdown, for your grammatical entertainment. Step over the jump with me, won’t you?
Continue reading "This Guy Can't Understand Why Cliff Lee is More Popular Than Ilya Bryzgalov" »
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Shane Victorino stopped by the MLB Fan Cave yesterday and surprised one oh-so-lucky fan with a phone call.
Programming note: I apologize for the relative lack of updates (and posts like this) over the last few days-- apparently, buying a house and moving is more work than I anticipated. Site will be back to normal by Monday.
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He's... so happy
How about a game where delightfully fat and slightly injured Chooch hits a two-run, pinch-hit, game-tying bomb in the hell hole known as Flushing, New York?
Sign me up!
Carlos Ruiz’s two-run blast in the top of the seventh tied last night's game at 3-3 and prevented Cliff Lee from being eligible for yet another loss. The Phillies would explode for seven more runs on their way to a 10-6 victory against the Metropolitans.
Carlos, predictably, was so happy: [Phillies.com]
"I'm so happy to have that big home run right there. I was trying to get at least a base hit to get the inning going. I got a good pitch to hit and made a good swing."
Charlie Manuel, predictably, knew his pinch-hitter would come up big:
"I had a feeling he was going to get a knock," Manuel said. "That's why I put him up there."
Cliff Lee, predictably, and like Roy Halladay, thinks Chooch is the best player on the team right now:
"He's a great player, and he's proven it day in and day out," Lee said of Ruiz. "He's been a great catcher ever since I've been involved with him, and now he's starting to prove it even more with the bat. It just shows how complete of a player he is. He's our best player right now and has been the whole time."
The Amaro Lies
Ruben Amaro, who back in February classified Ryan Howard’s second surgery as not a setback, tells CSN Philly’s Jim Salisbury that The Big Piece probably won’t be back in June:
Amaro was asked if he believed Howard could be back before the end of June.
“I don’t believe so,” he said. “I don’t think so.”
Could Howard be back by the All-Star break?
“I don’t know,” Amaro said.
Howard actually had muscle removed during his surgery, something that was just revealed by the team last week following an all-out assault on their transparency from the Inquirer.
Lies.
Now on to Halladay...
Doc saw another doctor yesterday in New York-- Dr. David Altchek, who performed surprise Tommy John surgery on Twin Scott Baker. There’s no indication that anything is wrong with Halladay’s elbow... but there are a number of odd occurrences involving Doc since March that make us uneasy:
Decreased velocity in spring training, denies injury.
Leaves team after poor outing - in which he once again looked overheated - for “personal family issue,” returns next day.
Wild rumors pop up about Doc’s health as people speculate what’s wrong and why he left team.
More bad starts.
Shoulder soreness, pulled from start.
Lat strain, out 6-8 weeks.
Second opinion, will speak with media on Friday, likely in a secret, staged meeting by Phillies PR gestapo.
Does this worry anyone else, or is it just me?
Beer
A mobile-friendly link to the CBP beer guide.
The Rapists for 100, Alex
The serial rapist in the Northeast looks an awful lot like Shane Victorino, as pointed out by reader Emily. We're told it was Cliff Lee who gave a description to sketch artists.
Old Balls
Mermaids
Finally, the mermaid of John Mayberry Jr.’s affection, actress Antoinette Nikprelaj, is in a Carl’s Jr. ad, as pointed out by reader Ray.
I bet John wishes she was biting into his meat. What, too graphic?
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I don't even know what to say. Maybe there's a sick punchline that I'm missing here besides them both being dead but rumored to still be alive. Maybe there's not. But probably D-Jac is just an idiot.
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Jaromir Jagr continued his blog on this Czech website over the holiday weekend and he had some interesting things to say about the end of the Flyers’ season and his future with the team. Not interesting in the ohhhh he threw this player under the bus way, but in a wow, that was candid sort of way.
Keep in mind, this is translated (I think), so some meaning gets lost:
On losing to the Devils:
I still can’t explain why we stopped skating, all of a sudden! Or why we were so weak, when everything had been ideal against Pittsburgh. I don’t understand at all how they could suddenly outplay us...
The matches were tight, but our overall performance was worse than theirs, that much is clear. Perhaps we had all been convinced we would win before the tie actually started. And that might also have been a problem.
None of our team had the drive and skating we had shown against Pittsburgh. The Devils’ players were much stronger at the boards, we were not helping each other and seemed to be scattered on the ice. It reminded me of a basketball match in which all of us are moving somewhere at the three-point line and wondering why we are unable to go after and snatch any rebound...
We were simply too dispersed. We were like a palm; they were like a fist. They were sticking together; we were like a hand with outstretched fingers. We really were feeling desperate at that time.
On being injured:
As to myself, there were rumors regarding my injury. The fact is I did have problems with my thigh, it had happened during the last game against Pittsburgh, but then I had a week to get myself together. The thigh actually did not hurt that much during the games, so I don’t think I should use it as an excuse.
But the fact is I could not train so much, I attended perhaps one training session. And when a man of my age misses five or six training sessions, it is felt … Especially if you take into account the pace of play-off games. But there is no use to dwell on it; injuries are part of play-off games. I wasn’t the only one. However, there was another thing that struck me.
On his future with the Flyers:
As to my future, we’ll see which way the winds will blow. There’s no reason to hurry. I do not intend to make any keynote statements now. There is some situation now, but what if Philadelphia decides to sign other free agents to whom it will give more chances to play?
In that case, it wouldn’t make any sense for me to stay. It wouldn’t be good, either for me or for the Flyers. For the time being, what I have said still holds true – I would like to spend another year in the NHL. But let’s see what will happen. A lot will depend on the direction the Flyers will want to follow.
There was more, about how much fun he had and his playing time, which you can read here.
H/T to reader Matt
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Jason Babin had a more difficult week than you, and this time it didn’t involve the plight of NFL players with non-guaranteed contracts.
Babin - who this offseason was quite outspoken about NFL players needing more job security* - missed the start of OTAs because he was bear hunting in Alaska, an exploit he chronicled on Twitter.
The OTAs are, by their given name, optional, so his absence is hardly bears mentioning (I giggled). But the reason for his delayed return does: Babin was stuck in Alaska after bad weather pinned him and his guide in a remote spot.
Babin explains: [Philly.com]
"When the weather blows in, you don't have a lot of options," Babin said after arriving for his first OTA session, on a humid morning in sprinkling rain. "There were times when the tent bent in so hard, the tent was in our sleeping bags. There was snow drifting over."
"[I] Survived," he said. "You've got to pack in your food, which are freeze-dried meals. You got to hike up a glacier with snowshoes to get your water. You gotta boil it. If you fall through and get wet while out hiking, no one's gonna come dry you off with a towel. You've got to survive on your wits ... Some of the most extreme climates in the U.S."
Glass. When do they chew glass?
Babin added that he’d like to run with the bulls in Spain before training camp begins.
And you wonder why they don’t give football players guaranteed contracts...
*His words - and I quote - "[The franchise tag] is a scary proposition because, you know, if you get hurt before the season, during the season, you know... they can release you and only pay you medical, which is substantially lower, I think. There's risk involved. Everyone loves a long-term contract."
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Up is down. White is black. Finkle is Einhorn. The Phillies are the Nationals.
Earlier today, the Phillies sent out an email promoting the usual fare: Dodgers tickets, Rockies tickets, pictures of their recognizable players who aren’t injured. You know, the usual. This communicae, however, included a special offer: Buy 1, Get 1 FREE for the June 6 game against the Dodgers.
Oh, how Nationals of them.
A few weeks ago we speculated that the Phillies’ sellout streak may soon be coming to an end. Attendance numbers hit near two-year lows, dipping below 44,000 for the first time since September 7 of 2010, a game which, interestingly, also had a BOGO. The slight attendance dip isn’t surprising given the Phillies’ relative early-season struggles. But, for a team that hasn’t even had to try to sell tickets - let alone give them away - over the past two seasons, it’s a bit saddening to see that there is enough inventory left for next Wednesday night’s game that they’re running a BOGO.
The sellout streak was already questionable, given MLB’s and the Phillies’ ability to sell tickets through StubHub (though I’ve been told the Phillies deny this), but now freebies may be required to keep it going. Miss you, 2008.
Get 'em while they're hot. And free.
H/T to readers Nick and Daniel
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Mike Richards with a familiar backdrop, via the Toronto Sun
How does Ed Snider feel about Mike Richards - once dubbed the next Bobby Clarke - and Jeff Carter playing for Lord Stanley’s Cup?
One associated press writer asked him: [Washington Post]
“It doesn’t make it bitter at all,” Flyers founder and owner Ed Snider said by phone from California on Tuesday. “Quite frankly, I think it’s more interesting to watch. I am very fond of Richards and Carter. I’d love to see them succeed. As far as Jersey is concerned, they beat us. If they win, at least we know we lost to the best.”
“I think we’re better off [following the trades],” Snider said, “but I’m not getting into details.”
I bet, Ed.
But are... they better off? Maybe. The Flyers have a bunch of young players that were very impressive this season, so it’s hard to argue with the long-term outlook. But, the reality is that Richards and Carter are young too, and had signed up to be Flyers for a long time. Richards has won at every level and helped lead the team to the Finals in 2010. Carter, while we joke about his clutch bone, is a substantial scoring threat, who at the very least garners the attention of defensemen. He hasn’t been great in the playoffs (nine points in 14 games), but the mid-season trade that sent him to the Kings seems to have given his new team just enough of a scoring boost to make the playoffs and win, oh, say, three rounds.
As such, it’s hard to argue with what’s going on in the real world-- Richards and Carter and John Stevens and Simon Gagne’s soupy melon and Ron Hextall and Justin Williams and Dean Lombardi, all former members of the organization, are playing for the Stanley Cup. The current Flyers? Hanging out P.J. Whelihan’s: [the picture is unnecessary, but really I was just looking for an excuse to use it]
Pic via reader Marc, taken last week
Richards and Carter, who were quite broken up about the trades last summer, seem to be just fine with things now. Here’s what Richards told reporters at yesterday’s Stanley Cup media day:
“We were pretty mad. I’m not going to lie,” Richards said at Stanley Cup media day. “It’s something I’ve never had before. I’ve never been traded. Jeff has never been traded. For us to be traded at the same time I think was a lot of venting to each other.”
“Like I said, everything happens for a reason. If that was the path that was intended for us, that’s great.”
Excuse me while I remove this twisted knife...
Anyway, all of the quotes you’ve read thus far in this post have been expected. But here’s one that wasn’t-- Snider on the subject of satisfaction, or whatever you want to call it:
“It’s not so great for someone like me, when we work our butt off and we think we’re in a position to win and we don’t,” Snider said. “But at least we’re competitive every year. A lot of teams in the last three years would have liked to have gone to the finals once and the second round twice. I’m not saying we’re satisfied with that, but it’s certainly not failure.”
Some have been known to call that a Gold Standard.
More: Washington Post
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