Screen shot 2011-07-06 at 8.03.21 AMSo, Michael Martinez came out of his shell last night. He helped the Phillies achieve a season high in runs (14) and hits (18). (Source: Phillies.com)

Good morning, minions. It's been a while. Last time I dropped grammatical stylings, Paul Holmgren had just finished blowing up the Flyers and had yet to fill the void left by the departure of seven starting forwards from this year's playoff roster- a roster that finished the season with the third most points and goals scored in the NHL. What's that Scoob? There’s still a void? - bangs table in an angry fashion –

If you compare the full-season stats of the top five scorers the Flyers let go (Richards, Carter, Leino, Versteeg, and Powe) with the five forwards added thus far (Jagr, Schenn, Voracek, Simmonds, and Talbot*) the Flyers lost 45 goals, 33 assists, and 78 points from their lineup.

Someone said to me that the changes made to the Flyers were “addition by subtraction.” I may have struggled on my timed tests in grade school, but I'm fairly certain the third highest scoring team in the league minus 45 goals equals the 25th scoring team in the league. So can someone please explain to me where the beef is located? The Flyers are hungry… for goals.

Reader Tony emailed me over the weekend and said that he felt Ed Snider and Holmgren had a knee-jerk reaction to what transpired over the final months of the season:

I think Snider fucked up, bad.  He and the management had such a knee-jerk reaction after last year's debacle he blew up the team to get his goalie…an idea he REFUSED to even endorse for the last decade +…and now we're left with putting our faith in Girioux(fine), JVR who is still unproven IMO, and a bunch of hopefuls from the trades that haven't even netted 20 goals in a season….

Maybe I'm still butt-hurt over Richie getting trade so I could be biased but I think Flyers fans are delusional right now if they think this team is better now than before the trades.  With Gags and a few other solid scorers signing elsewhere I think the Flyers missed out on filling some holes

 

He's right. It's like Homer got drunk and, in a jealous rage, cheated on his girlfriend, all because she never called him back. In reality, she was just taking a nap and her phone was on silent. Now, Homer realizes he made a huge mistake, paid too much on dinner for the mistress, and is left without anyone. He goes through his phone to find a rebound, but none of his options are single: the hot girl from the gym moved to New York (Brad Richards), his old fling is out in LA (Simon Gagne), and Steven Stamkos just keeps cock-teasing him with salacious sexts- nothing more.

*Jagr's stats are based on his final season with the Rangers in 2008 (25G, 46A, 71Pts), which I think we can all agree would be the best case scenario for this season. They are offset a bit, however, by Schenn only having played in eight games last year. In short, expect less from Jagr, but more from Schenn this year.

 

Couple of quick notes:

– Our friends at Drinker's Philadelphia offer $1 hot dogs during all Phils games and $1 beers all-day, every day. On July 14th, I'll be hosting a sports movie quizzo at the Tavern. Look for details soon.

– Plush puppets are in at BC Sports. If you don't think I warm up for my sporadic radio spots, podcasts, and other speaking opportunities by talking to a a 14' Chase Utley, you're crazy. Get them here.

– Remember, great seats at great prices are always available at Crossing Broad Tickets. And check out the awesome t-shirts from Philly Phaithful.

 

Here now is a roundup of some stuff that was missed over the extended long-weekend:

- Shaq wants you to vote for Shane Victorino to make the All-Star team… but Victo may be headed for the DL. He has a Grade 1 thumb sprain.

– Andy Reid's son Britt was pulled over for speeding and reckless driving.

– Roy Halladay (and Rich Dubee) isn't keen on the starting the All-Star Game.

- Bryz wants your suggestions for what to put on his helmet. I vote for a picture of a dead Jeff Carter… or "Nice and Bryzy" emblazoned on the chin. Just no more Russian attire, however. Check out this recently Tweeted pic- the guy on the left is the one who helped him set up his account.

Screen shot 2011-07-06 at 12.09.03 AMThe color blue is staging a coup (poet!)

– Jagr turned down better offers to join the Flyers.

– Ellis Hobbs said Sean McDermott told defenders to ignore the NFL's saftey video, which explained guidelines on violent hits.

– Corey Stokes punched a kid. This is just another run-in with the law for a (former) 'Nova player.

– Mike Wise of the Washington Post bashes Philly fans, saying that we are indeed worse than other fans. Then he goes on to say that stuff happens everywhere. That's not good logic.

Sarcasm and the old “They booed Santa Claus” anecdote cloud two facts about their fans. If major markets like Washington had half their passion and lack of patience, losing franchises would be forced to make real, not cosmetic, change.

And the downside: that Eagles-Phillies-Flyers-Sixers zealotry has manifested itself in some of the most violent, ugly, life-altering confrontations imaginable.

 

– Pittsburgh continues their unhealthy obsession with all things Flyers, thanks to the acquisitions of Jagr and Talbot. Here's a headline from the Tribune-Review over the weekend:

Screen shot 2011-07-06 at 7.54.44 AM

– Finally, readers doing cool things:

Check out Goodnight Snack to see what happens when pop culture meets politics. Hint: usually sex.

Like beer? Reader Ryan is starting up a blog about visiting breweries, Travels in Beerdom.

Everyone wants to know when we're throwing our hat into the 97.5 Dream Job contest. The contestant we're officially backing? Nick. He's good. Watch his video… after the jump.

Vote Nick! Vote Nick!

Thanks to all the readers who sent these links in over the extended weekend (there are too many to mention). Your help, tips, and constant lookout are appreciated.