Hunter_pence_hand  

UPDATE:

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Here are the most recent updates:

Jon Heyman says now the Phillies would likely have to include Dom Brown in a trade for Pence:

There’s a sense out there that if #phillies sub domonic brown for singleton and include cosart they might land pence. #tradedeadline

source: pence was told during last night’s game he was being pulled due to trade, but then he wasnt pulled. #tradedeadline

 

Ken Rosenthal says Pence is the Phillies’ to lose:

Sources: #Reds on #Astros‘ Bourn as well as Pence. Bourn FA after ’12, Pence after ’13. Pence is #Phillies‘ to lose. #tradedeadline #MLB

 

You know what I’ve done for the last five days, folks? Chased fucking rumors, that’s what. It’s like a dog chasing his tail, only he’s not sure if it exists, and, if it did, would he really want to eat it? 

Paul Hagen spoke to one scout, a Phillies fan, who doesn’t want Pence for the following reasons: [Philly.com]

“Not a fast bat . . . Needs to cheat a lot and therefore strikes out a lot . . . Not a high OPS guy . . . Would not protect [Ryan] Howard in the batting order . . . Not a guy I would like to pay a lot over the next 3 years like you would have to in [arbitration] . . . Not a great defensive player either. Not a premium guy worth giving up premium cheap future-salaried young players . . . I would trade the young guys if it was a guy with an OPS of .950 or above, more athletic with higher upside with a faster bat.”

 

Yeah, but his girlfriend is hot.

For realsies though, how can he not protect Ryan Howard? Just by virtue of having an All-Star righty hitting behind Piece, instead of a misplaced Victorino, the Phillies become a better team… and teams like the Giants and Braves can’t continuously run out left-handed frisbee tossers to plow through Utley, Howard, Ibanez, and Brown. Plus, it’s not like the Phillies have been raking playoff caliber starters, either. Check out the numbers our man John put together. This is what the Phillies have done against likely playoff competition:


Giants 

Lincecum 6 IP, 0 ER

Cain 7 IP, 0 ER

 

Braves

Hudson 14.2 IP, 4 ER

Jurrjens 13.2 IP, 3ER

Hanson 7 IP, 1 ER

Beachy 14IP, 9 ER

Lowe 19 IP, 6 ER

 

Brewers

Marcum 6IP, 0 ER

Wolf 6IP, 0 ER

Narveson 6 IP, 3 ER

 

Cardinals

Garcia 8 IP, 0 ER

Carpenter 7 IP, 1 ER

McClellan 7 IP, 1 ER

Lohse 8IP, 3 ER

 

Pirates, yes, the Pirates

Kartens 7 IP, 1 ER

Morton 7 IP, 2 ER

McDonald 4 IP, 3 ER

 

Fuck, Scoob! That’s good for a 2.33 ERA and, in 23 starts, those pitchers have held the Phillies to one run or fewer 11 times. Still don’t think the Phillies need offensive help, especially a right-handed bat to balance out the lineup? 

Also, reader Nick just emailed me to point out the outfield’s nickname – Victorino, Ibanez, and Pence – would be VIP. Make it happen, Rube.