Screen Shot 2011-09-23 at 10.11.21 AMBalls

To give you an idea of what we’re dealing with here, I received a few suggestions from you, the reader, last night:

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Nice one, Mike. But I’d argue for something different: The Kris Versteeg Game:

The Phillies look blasé, indifferent, lethargic, and if they keep playing this way, will see their season end in playoff disaster (you might want to check out our Flyers season allegory to see what I’m talking about). Now, if we wanted to get real literal with this one, Ruben Amaro would step into the Phillies’ clubhouse at the conclusion of the season and shoot Chase Utley and Hunter Pence dead, and next year sign some foreign closer in an effort to mask new holes in the offense. But hey, we’ll just stick with this: They stink right now and are in danger of backing into the playoffs in a way that might prove unrecoverable… just like the Flyers.

Oh, what’s that, Scoob? You think it’s just the because the Phillies have John Bowker* playing right field?

Think again, dog.

In the four-game series against the Nationals, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, and Chase Utley went a combined… wait for it… hold your nuts… clench your cheeks… THE OTHER CHEEKS!... inhale… OH-FOR-THIRTY SIX.

0-for-36.

Sorry, I know, that was like removing a band-aid. It’s over now.

Or is it? That’s cause for real concern.

There’s more.

Our friend Steve Bucci passes along this nugget: Utley has one home run in September (his only RBI) and hasn’t hit a double since August 26th. Gewww.

The Phillies have lost six straight and 9 of their last 13. Somewhere, a pony weeps.

*We’re all with the basic understanding that John Bowker is the most generic looking baseball player in the history of the sport and is used as inspiration by folks from Sony when designing unlicensed call-ups in The Show, right? Right?!

Speaking of crying – for all the right reasons – Victorino broke down at the dedication of a new Boy and Girls Club. Video via 6 ABC:

Shane also spoke with MLB Network's Intentional Talk about Hunter Pence's fashion:

Chickie’s and Pete’s will be giving away FREE CRAB FRIES on Monday:

The Fan Appreciation Event is scheduled for Monday, September 26 at the Chickie’s & Pete’s location on Packer Avenue in South Philadelphia. The event kicks off at 5 p.m. and will feature special appearances by Philadelphia athletes, cheerleaders, mascots and pep bands.

At 6:30 p.m., Chickie’s & Pete’s will offer free crab fries for one hour. Customers will have opportunities to win great prizes throughout the evening, including autographed sports memorabilia. There will drink specials all day, including $1 draft and bottled beer.  

 

That’s the same day as the Flyers BBQ at CBP and preseason game against the Rangers.

Dom Brown is scheduled for the instructional league.

A guy from New Jersey is suing the Phillies and StubHub.

Moneyball came out this week, much to the delight of geeks everywhere. Slate has my favorite review (though it looks like a good movie):

But the main reason the A's were successful in the early 2000s was that four of the high draft picks they were awarded after lousy seasons in the late 1990s all turned fairly quickly into top-notch players. Hudson, Mulder, and Zito I've mentioned; the fourth was Eric Chavez, a third baseman who was the 10th player drafted in 1996 (like Hudson, he was signed by Oakland before Beane became general manager), when he had just finished high school and was widely regarded as one of the best prospects in the country. Oakland got another big boost from Miguel Tejada, a Dominican player signed by, yes, a scout, when he was 17. (Tejada, meanwhile, got a boost from performance-enhancing drugs, and he wasn't the only one.) In 2002, those were Oakland's five best players—according to advanced statistical analysis (specifically, Wins Above Replacement). Oakland could afford these five because Major League Baseball's salary structure severely limits how much young players can make.

 

Finally, Devils beat reporter Tom Gulitti took several unwarranted shots at CBP yesterday. I defended our lovely park…

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Screen Shot 2011-09-23 at 9.45.38 AMThere's a lot more on Twitter… Basically, Tom thinks, if the NHL was going to go with a baseball stadium, it should have some historic charm. Um, what other options are left? Fenway and Wrigley were already used.

He’s also completely wrong on the stadium attendance numbers and the assertion that there was nowhere else to play the game- the Eagles were willing to work with the NHL to make it happen, because, ya know, they like money.