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Good morning from my pseudo vacation, where the Limoncello remains chilled and my NBA 2k12 Clippers franchise is about to get underway!*

*Sorry, Iggy and Co., a virtual team with an explosive big man, the league’s best point guard, and a ‘Nova grad (Foye) is a video game must.


The Flyers shit the bed last night, losing to the Lightning, 5-1. Despite outshooting our Tamponian friends 17-4 in the first period, the Flyers once again had a lackluster second period, in which they mustered only three shots. Of course, if the outcomes of hockey games were based solely on shot counts, the Flyers would have ran away with the victory. Only 16 Lightning shots found the net, which, apparently, is so humongous big, because five of them found the back of the red and white structure. Ilya Bryzgalov may have found his way out of the woods, but he’s now lost in this gigantic galaxy of ours. Some bad bounces aside, Bryz displays a lateral quickness that makes Michael Leighton look like an All-World goaltender. I tweeted last night that Bryz is like a turtle shadowing a worm– and after a good night’s sleep, I still feel that’s an accurate assessment.

Let’s get on to the highlights.

Claude Giroux presents Porn on Ice!

For those of you who can't see that video, or didn’t watch the game last night, Giroux passed the puck to himself off the end boards, spun and fired a shot on net, where the rebound found Scott Hartnell’s still vertical stick. 

That was fun, and so was watching Wayne Simmonds beat the Jesus out of Eric Brewer, who incredibly – eye-raisingly – returned later in the game after stumbling around the ice. How he passed a concussion test, we do not know. That video is after the jump.