Ruben Amaro Let's It Hang Low, Hires Ed Wade

Today is a fine day, says Rube

Ruben Amaro has had quite the dick-swinging 24-hour period.

Yesterday, he showed up to Jimmy Rollins’ press conference in his Wedding Crashers suit and then proceeded to toast the newly re-signed Phillie like a proud father at his son’s graduation from law school. 

Arm around Jimmy? Check.

Joe Biden-esque public display of euphoria? Of course!

We’re doing this in the middle of the Phillies front office Christmas party and I’m down a few, my hair is slightly askew, beard is developing its own personality traits and I won this dick measuring contest by guaranteeing our aging shortstop only three years? In order: Yep. Probably. You know it. He sure is. And you’re damnnnn right.

That was Ruben Amaro’s Wednesday… oh, and today he officially hired his former mentor, Ed Wade, to be a “Special Consultant to the Baseball Operations Department." "" "" "" Quotes!

via reader Matt

That’s right, boys and girls, Ed Wade is back. The Phillies just announced that Wade will once again be on the payroll, presumably not to actually do anything (because he’s 0-2 as a GM), but as a thank you for Brad Lidge, Roy Oswalt, Hunter Pence and Eric Bruntlett’s beard.

Officially:

In his new role with the Phillies, Wade will assist in salary arbitration consultation, while also scouting at both the Major and minor league levels. 

Translation: You’ll be working from Storage B. And no, you can’t have the Swingline stapler.

Now seems like a good time to re-live Wade’s greatest hits. Back in the summer, we detailed his dealings with the Phillies. And, of course, you get forget Philly Phaithful’s lovely Dopius Maximus t-shirt:

Welcome back, Ed. And Happy Holidays, Rube– go easy on the egg nog.

Also, that shirt (and others) would probably make a great holiday gift…