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Good luck with that, Joe.

I’m not a lawyer. I took some law classes in college and the LSATs, but then decided that I liked dick jokes and sports more, so now I do this. Anyway, I do know one thing: Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer, Joe Amendola, is not very good at his job. 

Patriot News reporter Sara Ganim, who is in the midst of a month-long crusade to become a CNN correspondent (that’s a compliment, not a fact), landed an exclusive interview with Amendola, who loves cameras (think creepy Scott Paterno). He says that there may come a time when Sandusky is forced to plead guilty because there are so many charges against him. Amendola's logic: [from Ganim’s report and her video interview with Amendola] 

"That could happen [plea bargain] if, if, more allegations come forth and, if, Jerry gets to the point where he realizes fighting against more than the original allegations might be a real uphill battle," Amendola said. "Bottom line, Jerry has always maintained his innocence, from the outset of first allegations, and continues to maintain innocence. What happens with any additional charges which may be filed remains to be seen." 

Additional quotes from video: “We haven’t had these conversations with the [AG’s office]. You know from your experience, Sara, people who maintain their innocence sometimes plead guilty because of the overwhelming evidence against them.”

Meanwhile, Amendola has hired a private investigator. He’s picking apart the case. All together, he admits, it does appear damning. It alleges there are eye-witnesses to child rape and multiple accusers with similar stories about Sandusky. 

But the Centre County lawyer said he’s applying pressure where there are cracks.

 

Translation: Yes, it looks bad. Hell, it’s getting worse. We’re still going to claim innocence, though, despite the roughly 15 alleged victims and hundreds of accusations of sexual assault. It’s so bad, in fact, that we’d be open to a plea bargain– hear that, State? Plea bargain! Please! Until then, we’re going to poke pin holes in the world’s largest air mattress and cross our fingers that it will make a difference. 

Amendola is either really bad at poker or he just watched Margin Call (good movie– rent it, it’s onDemand on FIOS). The movie chronicles investment bankers who forecast the impending mortgage crisis before their peers. They’re then faced with the difficult choice of holding on to their soon-to-be-worthless assets (an inaction that would surely put their company out of business) or liquidating their entire portfolio (an action that will start the mortgage crisis, but allow the bank to get out alive– barely). You can probably guess which one they choose. 

That’s Amendola… only he missed the part where you don’t tell the public that you’re in a lose-lose situation (!!!), because doing so makes it impossible to sell your assets, or, in this case, your story. Here’s why, Joe: You don’t tell your opponent that you’re only holding a Two of Hearts and 10 of Diamonds. You pretend you have a pair of Aces (just ask Amaro). There's a reason for all those "no comments" we hear from lawyers.

Amendola's strategy is the same one used by every defense lawyer ever (remember, don’t have to prove innocence– just poke holes in the prosecution), but most keep the fact that they have almost no case close to the vest.

Anyway, Sandusky may be open to a plea bargain. Here’s video of Ganim’s interview with Amendola, who seems like more of a fame whore than a lawyer. Hell, maybe he’s just Kris Versteeg and trying to sabotage the whole thing. Who knows? And oh yeah, as one reader pointed out last week (I forget who), Amendola pronounces the letter S almost exactly like Herbert, the pedophile neighbor in Family Guy. Fitting.

Videos after the jump.