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I'm convinced that girl in the background is Liz Lemon… or just eye-fucking Claude Giroux as her boy toy get his text on

Ew. Check your shoes– it smells like someone stepped in dog shit. 

I wish there was a way that words could accurately diagram the Flyers' play in the first period. There’s not, because there isn't word that evokes an image of the Cheshire Cat aimlessly and lethargically running into an oncoming truck and watching carelessly as said truck barrels away carrying with it a piece of the pussy's soul.

On second thought, that probably paints a pretty good picture.

I liked our friend Ryan Bright's take too:

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I tweeted after the first period that the Flyers unofficial turnover count was 602. I was joking, but I may have only been off by a dozen or so. The Flyers never had it, and despite a brief third period surge, lost to the Islanders, 4-1. It’s the first time the Flyers have lost at home to the Islanders since 2007, or, since Mike Richards was the next Bobby Clarke.

Matt Read’s goal gave him 14 on the season and puts him in the league lead among rookies. 

Some things to discuss:

Claude Giroux got into his third career fight. It was a pleasant mix of passion and frustration, which I’m guessing excited our friend Brandi

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We now know why Jaromir Jagr was such a sought after guest on Dry Island: he, like the $51 million goalie, doesn’t drink. Here’s an excerpt from an Q & A with Jags in the Courier Post:

You do keep yourself in good shape for a guy who’s turning 40 next month.
“I never drink. I think that’s helped. I never drink alcohol.”

You never drank at all?
“No. My family never had alcohol in the house. My dad never. My mom never. If you don’t see if in the house … I never drank. I always had fun and never had to drink. I think people drink to have fun. I have fun when I don’t drink.”

You’re turning 40 on Feb. 15. When did you think playing in the NHL at 40 would be possible?
“I told you I never drink. I think when people drink, they lose 10 years. They lose 25 percent. I think that. They lose 25 percent. They’re finished at [age] 30. The thing is when you drink and the body, how it works … you’re naturally cleaning your body. When you drink alcohol, the body cleans the alcohol first, then it doesn’t have time to kind of heal you with other things.

You never tasted beer in your life?
“I tasted beer, but I don’t like that taste. That’s why I don’t drink it. That’s a huge advantage for me.

Did you ever smoke?
“No.”

Is there a soda that you drink?
“I like Diet Coke. I even drink it during a game. I like Diet Coke. No vitamins, nothing … Diet Coke.”

 

And there goes my vision of Jags sitting in the back of Z Bar sipping distilled vodka off the neck of a Ukrainian hooker.

Speaking of Eastern Europe and Russia, reader Matt sent this video of John Boruk seemingly making a crack about the KHL plane crash during Pregame Live:

Eh. He’s actually right– travel is safer here. I’m not so sure he wasn’t just caught off-guard by Bill Clement, who – I think – was talking about the fact that there is less travel in the NHL, not the safety thing. Signals crossed and, boom: uncomfortable comment. A few folks on Twitter were unhappy with it, but I don’t think Boruk meant it as a joke, it just came across that way.

Finally, since the highlights consist mostly of Brayden Schenn turning the puck over at the blue line, after the jump is a picture of the Phantoms without their shirts on and video of Giroux’s fight. Both are geared toward our female readers.

Comment on this post, and you'll entered to win a “Quality Grooming Experience” from American Male, a full-service salon for guys in Center City, Berwyn and Reading that has been helping men look their best for over 12 years. The “Quality Grooming Experience” features shampoo, haircut, scalp massage and much more. We’ll be picking two winners per week. Must enter your email address to be eligible. Oh yeah, they serve beer too.

Thanks to reader Lindsay for the photo 

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